Hey! I’m Madison, and thirteen years old. I love my boyfriend John, but we’ve been going through some tough times lately. He’s been acting strange and not as “into me” as he was before. We need to talk alone so I can understand what’s going on with him, but he’s kind of shy and doesn’t like to do stuff with just the two of us. I would NEVER be able to talk to him honestly with our friends circling around us! The biggest dance of the year is next Friday but he isn’t acting interested in it at all! I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he’s going to dump me, but I want to save things because I love him. What should I do?
2007-12-01 13:49:52 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Maddie!
That's a tough one. I know you may feel like you love him, but honestly, are you sure? Would you die for him? If not, you probably don't love him to the extent that you are portraying. It's okay. Boys are weird. He should like you to the same extent that you like him. Ask him to go to lunch and a movie. At lunch, you guys can talk. You can maybe even get to know him a little better. If he's shy, it's probably best to do stuff outside of your regular group so you can really ask him honestly what's going on with him. If he says he's not comfortable alone with you, honor that, but tell him that you feel like you guys aren't as close as you used to be and that you want to honestly talk to him. He, being your boyfriend, should honor that you want to save things and talk things out. If he doesn't, then maybe he isn't the right guy for you. Maybe he really is excited for the dance, but is a little nervous about it too, because it sounds like he's a little shy and insecure. If he does dump you, don't panic. It's okay to cry for a little while, but you've got to understand that it's for the best. He's the only one you've ever loved because he's the only one you've ever tried to love. If you need some advice, I'm there for you :)
xoxo love caroline
2007-12-02 03:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Caroline♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems to be something that troubles you very deeply. With you feeling such hurt, you need to address this with "John" as your feelings are more important than him being shy. Do not allow his acting not interested be the reason for you to miss out on the biggest dance of the year. Some may see this as you are only 13 but there is no greater pain that having your heart break, regardless of your age. Tell John you hurt because you feel he does not care for you any longer and if he is not interested to let you know. He may not give you the answer you want to hear, but at least you will know where his heart is at. I wish you the best and if he does not care for you then maybe he does not deserve someone who cares for him. Consider it his loss and enjoy yourself at the dance.
As everyone knows, 10 points is awarded to the best response. I have recommended to Yahoo!Answers to deduct 10 points from those receiving the most thumbs down to a question. Maybe this will eliminate those answering questions simply to receive 2 points. Show some compassions and class!!
I give a thumbs up to everyone who answers Madison's question some sense of dignity!
2007-12-01 14:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Levi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys are strange. They act weird for lots of reasons. It could be a thousand other reasons he is acting that way. It could be family,friends, or he could want to tell you something but not have the guts. If I were you I wouldn't worry too much. If you think it is that important then you should ask him to talk to you alone. If he really cares about you he will. A good relationship is based on communication and if you can't talk to him then ya have a problem. But unless it is a really big deal don't worry about it too much. Just remember you are 13. Lots of guys will come and go, so don't get too attatched. Always rely on your friends. Guys come and go,but friendship is forever.Good luck!
2007-12-01 13:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, if he does dump you, don't get stressed. GUys are weird. I understand because I knew a boy and i loved him a lot and i'm around your age. its best to wait and see. but try to make it comfortable for the two of instead of just yourself. its best that you make it as painless as possible. and if he decides to stay with you, thats great, if not, you still have other chances and a lot of time. you're still very young. remember that. there is always a chance to get a guy back when you're at that age. just give him some time. I hope that info helps you.
2007-12-01 13:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by Jinney Skellington 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i had the same problem but not everything works out the same as me and well its with my girlfriend i dont have a boyfriend lol but anyways...
Do talk to him even if he is shy and dont let him leave if he walks away take that as your answer and move on its what is the best thing to do even if it feels like its not because love isnt a feeling its an ability
2007-12-01 13:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by cobras_blood3 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me as if your boyfriend isn't as mature as you seem to be and certainly not as serious. Maybe after the dance you could move on and find yourself someone a little more mature. Keep him as a good friend if you like or if it works out that way but you have plenty of time and other opportunities.
2007-12-01 13:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him via IM - I think its easier that way. Ask him whats going on for the dance and tell him you are looking forward to going - see what he says. There really isn't anything you can do if he's not into you anymore but maybe thats not it at all and something else. Only one way to find out. Good luck
2007-12-01 13:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Pete 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why don't you try talking to him on the phone in that way you don't have to worry about your friends and he won't even feel shy try asking him in the polite way say something like john are you getting bored of me and tell him that you love him this works with me i am fifteen and sometimes have the same problem with mine he's very possessive so when he gets angry i say this and he's anger vanishes
2007-12-01 13:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.......... i would say that you really need to talk to him before its to late. Boys are like that sometimes and we girls just have to know how to deal with it! once you get older maybe you will understand! but for now you should really talk to him because only he knows what is wrong with him and since you are the girlfriend who is recieveing the bad end yall should really talk.
2007-12-01 13:57:04 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never say you love someone unless you plan on marrying that person and you are too young to be thinking marriage. Dump him first and see how he reacts don't let your emotions get the best of you.
2007-12-01 13:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by sechott 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋