I think I might be depressed, how can I talk to my mom about it?

Question

My mom is depressed, and hasn't had her antidepressants for a few days, she ran out and the pharmacy has been closed every time we go to pick it up. She freaks out, yelling that everybody is taking advantage of her, that no one cares about her and that she is under appreciated. I understand that she wasn't in her right state of mind when she was doing this, and we got her prescription today. (she was mad that I cleaned the kitchen "wrong") I think I might be depressed as well. For the past year or so I have felt my mental state spiraling downwards. I figured it was usual teen angst kind of stuff, nothing much, until I've recently stopped eating much, feel tired and stressed all the time, like everyone's judging me and I'm not good enough for myself, and I feel a constant knot of anxiety and worry in my stomach. This isn't all the time, but it's been increasing in how often it happens, I only feel very happy when I'm with my two best friends or listening to music.

I've had urges for self mutilation, to just bleed my pain away, that I have only acted on twice, and feel so weak for acting on at all. I don't know how to bring it up to my mom, I've never liked talking about emotions. I keep them bottled up inside so no one can hurt me with them.

My mom is fine now, she has her zoloft, life is good once more.

I can't talk about emotions period. I feel like I need to be the strong one, the child that can deal with things on her own. My brother has been in and out of rehab since the age of 16, he's 19 now and is in counseling and has been sober for a few months. My sister has anger and social disorders. I feel like I need to be the one everyone looks to and says "Well, she's doing fine"

What I really want is someone to ask me how I'm feeling, then tell me I'm lying and ask me again when I say "fine"

The thing I like about music is that I don't have to feel my emotions, I can feel the emotions of the lyrics and music. I can just let the music fill my mind, forget about worries and regrets, and just listen.

I've stopped the cutting, I realized it was a temporary fix and that my problems came back magnified by 1000%

My mom is usually a very happy person, she didn't have her prescription from last Wednesday until today, so it was a little hectic. We have a very good relationship. She usually does cook very healthy meals, and I cook pasta and make salad once a week. I'm a vegetarian, which I know has nothing to do with what I'm feeling.

Answer 1

just do it

Answer 2

A lot of the time this can run in the family. Your mom is on meds, so she obviously knows that she has chronic depression. I'd talk to her privately about it and just let her know that you think you're starting to have the same problem. It's hard to live with without having it propperly addressed. I'm bipolar, and I kept everything bottled for years. I finally told my mom this year, everything started when I was about 6, I'm 24 now... and she felt bad that I didn't talk to her earlier. I made her feel like she failed as a parent. The earlier you talk to her, the easier it will be. You'll also feel better being able to talk to someone, whether it's just your mom or a councellor. Either way, make the effort and take that first difficult step. She'll understand... she's your mom and in this case, she knows what you're going through.

Answer 3

It does sound suspiciously like you are developing at least a temporary depression.

I'm glad you realize that your mom was probably reacting from stress and depression, not because she really wanted to be hateful. It's not easy living with someone who has depression - that's enough to throw you into a tailspin on its own!

You can go to a website like WebMD and look at a checklist for depression, and perhaps print if off to go over with your mother. If your dad is around, he needs to be in on this too.

If mom isn't receptive to having you talk to a therapist or doctor about this, you can go to your school counselor for someone to talk to.

Cutting will not bleed away the pain or do anything else to relieve the symptoms for more than a few minutes. You've probably figured that out by now. You need professional help NOW before you get suicidal or to the point where you can't function at all.

Please get help - it's out there.

Answer 4

I suggest that you talk to your doctor, especially about the self harm. It may be that you are anxious as well as depressed. young people are venerable and more so when caring for someone ill. I look after a son with Schizophrenia, they take your life over if you let them because you care 24/7. Get help from others if you can. telephone help lines can help. Stick with medical health people - avoid religious help, sometimes they have other motives and some are plain crazy themselves. I suggest that you have the basics of what you need, you are intelligent and aware and able to ask for help, you have friends. It'd be nice to think your mom could help, but if she's ill, I wouldn't count on it. I'd tell her, but not when you and her are very low, it could start a crisis. Apart from pills Cognitive Behaviour therapy - talking therapy is good. However your self harm issue indicates the pressure is taking you somewhere you don't want to be - get help. Have you a School or college Counsellor? Someone paid to help, trained to help and who can keep a secret, that's what you need, not people who will add their stuff to your stuff and blow it up...

The only common response to this sort of problem that is good is exercise, - overeating, self harm, drink, drugs, ruminating and obsessing are not good. You can influence your mood and brain by changing your life, by doing things - you cannot think your way out of this problem alone..

Answer 5

Well stop the train---you better realize YOU control your own life--despite seeing your mom--who is controlling HER own life. You are not depressed because she is depressed--you are a victim and that is a fact--you can't do anything about her condition--and all this talk of cutting would prove what?? What would you accomplish by cutting?? How would that make the situation any better?? You are under a lot of strain--it doesn't take a professional to tell you that. It is more of a reason to put things in perspective--your mom has issues---your mom has caused a lot of stress--we all can see that--YOU NEED TO RISE ABOVE IT ALL. You better get straightened out about your future--- it is up to YOU and the chances are very good that YOU can leave and have a great life in the future. You are an individual with unique talents and abilities--so start using them. And YOU better eat healthy food--I seem to get a picture of a diet full of soda, potato chips--pizza--and a host of crappy food because your mom doesn't cook healthy meals like a normal mom would do--it is just as easy to eat good as it is to eat crap---the junk foods have chemicals and additives proven to cause you and your mom to have the manic issues. So eat good for 6 weeks--avoid sugar--white flour--MSG--soda---and all the other crap. Bet you fell better in 6 weeks. Or continue to live with all this and do nothing to help yourself and rip your skin off for no reason. I wish you all the best---good luck.

Answer 6

I used to be depressed alot and then I read the book, "Radical Forgiveness." I was able to release a lot of my past and move on with my life.
There are alot of aspects to depression, but one of the big ones is anger. Whether you are angry at something in your life, or are holding onto anger from the past...it can trigger depression.
Now that I study 'A Course in Miracles' I am rarely depressed anymore, instead of being depressed all the time.

And if you feel good around your friends, then I would say that is a positive thing! Keep it up! :)

Just remember no matter what anyone says to you-->you are safe. No one can infrigne upon who you really are inside by what they say or do.

Answer 7

Tell someone you really trust who is an adult that can possibly get you the help you need. No one knows if you hide it inside. If my daughter were sad, I would want to know so I could help her. If you feel like your mom would not be the one to tell, then think about who you can tell! I feel for you because I have a parent like your mom and you are not alone. if you think about this too long, you will talk yourself out of getting help. Just take the plunge and get up and call the person you need to and get them to see you and talk honestly and openly and hold nothing back. I can promise you that you will feel brand new. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Tell her your not feeling well, and you need to see a doctor, the doctor can help you find out or send you to a specialist and talk to your mom with you as well.let them know you really dont feel like eating anymore, you feel anxious, tired and stressed all the time. you could also talk to a youth counselor at school who should also be willing to help you tell your mom how you feel, or a minister at church. God Bless , and thank you for understanding that your mom isnt in the right frame of mind when she isnt on her meds, just remember, to forgive her because im sure she feels terrible about her behavior, and the way shes treated you during those times.Sometimes its hard to apologise. Love,c

Answer 9

well if your mom is also depressed then she should understand. I didnt know I was depressed until a Navy Shrink evaluated me and she realized that I was. I didnt think it was deppression I just thought it was the weather I felt like I had no energy, i was having mood swings and felt tired all day long. Now I am on Lithium and I am back to normal getting things done all the time and feeling much happier. Just talk to her like a friend not like a mom. Thats how i did it with my mom.

Answer 10

Depression and mental-type disorders are supposed to run in the family. No one in my family (that I know of) has had a real problem with depression. My Dad has had some back surgeries and went on anti-depressants for a while after that because he could not move around like he was used to, but he came off of them after a while. Myself, I have dealt with depression off and on most of my adult life, so I know what it's like. I was on anti-depressants for about 3 years. They helped for quite a while and them I seemed to become "immune" to them. I switched from one doctor to another and the new doctor told me to just stop taking them. I just about flipped out when I was off of them for about a week! Don't ever stop taking anti-depressants cold turkey! I hope your Mom has gotten her prescription ... that is something you need to wean yourself off of. Try to be sensitive to your Mom's needs right now ... she is having a rough go of it because of the medications. Her body is so used to the prescription, it doesn't know how to act without them. Once she gets back on them and starts feeling better, talk to her. Tell her exactly how you are feeling. She may see you in herself and realize that you need the help too. Being on anti-depressants isn't a bad thing (I thought it was at first until I realized it really was helping me). We all need a little boost now and then. Some people can get through rough times a little easier than others. Needing help, asking for help ... it's not terrible. It takes courage ... and I commend you for seeing the signs and wanting to do something about it. If your Mom doesn't seem capable of helping you, go to another family member or even a friend's Mom ... someone that you trust. I bet they can help!

Answer 11

I'm sorry for how you're feeling. I recommend talking to anyone but your Mother! She's not strong enough to give you support and you might both feed off of each other. Try and find a doctor to speak to about your feelings. I also recommend contacting your Mothers doctor to give them an update on her downward spiral. You sound much too young to be arrying such a heavy burden. Also continue to spend time with your best friends. Please don't hurt yourself because you matter and mean something to people! Peace be with you and your Mother!