My Mom wants to take a family trip to LA with me and my brother. Im 26 and my brother is 33. Im in grad school and he makes $200K a year..
Now hes suggesting we all sleep in the same standard size room to save money. Does anyone think this is wrong and inappropiate?
I told my Mom that a 33 yr old man should be sleeping in his own hotel room not in the same room on a cot with his mom and sister.
Im refusing to go if he doesnt get his own room.
Also im paying for myself, so is my Mom- shes barely making it.
Shouldnt he be treating us since hes the man of the amily making 200K?
Does anyone feel what hes doing is wrong and inappropiate?
2007-12-01 10:37:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
he still lives with my mom btw and has 0 expenses
2007-12-01 10:40:26 · update #1
he is paying for his share but i think its wrong for a grown man to sleep in a small hotel room with his Mom and sister.
2007-12-01 10:48:27 · update #2
Honestly this is between HIM and your mother. He seems to be taking advantage of your mother. You can try talking to your mother about why he lives there without paying etc but this isn't any of your business.
It makes me sad someone could be that horrible to their own mother especially when he could easily take care of her in her older age but you fighting with him won't fix anything. These issues are between your mom and her son.
I don't think it's gross to share a hotel room with your brother and mom though. I mean honestly who cares? If there are separate beds and no one walks around indecently so what?
2007-12-01 10:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by happygolucky 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think your brother is cheap....I think that he could get a suite for all of you.
You can give him your share of the standard size hotel room, because that is what you can afford. Your mom pays nothing, as he has the means to pay for her.
Dismissing his cheapness, although he is saying he wants all to sleep in a standard size room and using money as his reason to save money; is Not his real reason.
His reason is he does not want to be alone. He wants his mom and sister around him while sleeping. He has fears.
Unless you have issues with your brother being that close while you are asleep, then I would think nothing of it.
This does not sound like a good union for a happy trip to LA.
Tell your mom without yelling, that you do not want to go on this trip with her and your brother at this time. DO NOT give your mother any ultimatums. She should not feel bad if she only went with your brother.
Your mom might feel that if she goes with only one of her children on a trip the other will feel jealous. Assure her - Not So Mom. Tell her you and her can have quality time together on another trip, but this time her quality time should be with your brother.
If you and your mom planned this trip together at first, then asked your brother to come along, well, then you and your mother will have to uninvite your brother. His quality time trip will be planned later. Understand?
End of Story.....Smile Bottom Line, no one goes on this trip.
2007-12-01 11:23:19 · answer #2 · answered by Flo-Jean 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's wrong for family members of any age to share a hotel room. You're family, right? Then I am European, we're a lot more relaxed about non-sexual nudity here, we never made a fuss out of seeing each other in the shower either, no one ever thinks anything inappropriate when I was in the shower and my dad was brushing his teeth at the sink or the other way around even when I was a teenager. We only locked the bathroom when using the toilet more for hygiene/odorous reasons, not because there's anything wrong with seeing close family in the nude. But I understand many folks in the US lock the shower and cover up even when still living in the same house! Seems a bit uptight to me, really nudity isn't all sexual you know...
As for the finances, I don't think he should be treating you to a holiday (hey, you and your mom are adults too!!!), but he should pay something for living in with your mom, I don't necessarily think it's wrong for someone to live at home but if he's got a good job he should pay part of the groceries/rent/mortgage/etc. Living at home _totally for free_ is inappropriate at his age & with his wages.
2007-12-01 15:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he makes that much and lives "Scott Free" at home with your mother who is "barely making it". I think it's rude of him not to offer to pay for her portion and give her the best amenities avail b/c she deserves it. Yes & get his own room as well. He must be doing something for her, he's helping in some way @ the home right? That's just inconsiderate not to.
She should be enjoying herself not cooking, cleaning and providing a roof for a 33 yr old man who makes almost a 1/4 mil. a yr.
Btw who suggested the vacation, your mother b/c she wants a break from it all, She deserves this allow her to enjoy it w/o to much conflict over the details.
2007-12-01 11:37:24 · answer #4 · answered by Chef April 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all, I don't know why HE would want to sleep in the same room with his mother and his sister. Sounds more like he's making the sacrifice so that he can treat you (with room service or whatever)
I don't know your family history and I do not intend to make any implications of any kind but your use of the term "inappropriate" sounds rather excessive to me; as if you suspect that he has reasons/motives (other than saving money) to want to share a room with you.
As long as there's two beds and a couch (or a folding bed) I don't see why or how this is "inappropriate" (unless he snores like I do.)
2007-12-01 11:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
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2016-10-10 00:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by parson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it truly bizarre and rather troubling that a 33 yr old man who makes 200K annuallly still lives at home with mom...does he help her out with expenses at least? Does he contribute anything to his rent or food, etc?
And yes, he should pay for a separate room for himself.
2007-12-01 12:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree, that he should have a seperate room.... if he's making that much, he should be out on his own, or at least, paying the lion's share of the bills in your mother's home..
he should spring for your mother's share of the trip...
2007-12-01 10:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by Foggy Idea 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's very wrong, it sounds like your brother is a real cheap ***, and how in the world is someone going to make that kind of money live with his mom, and not pay any expenses, i agree with you 100%, put your foot down and tell him about himself, he needs to be put in his place.
2007-12-01 10:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Definetely.
Under the circumstances, why isn't he living on his own? Could your mom get along without him at home, or charge rent?
If you're on completely different pages with each other, talking it out or seeing a counseler together may be a good idea.
2007-12-01 10:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by makeup>reality 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋