What I do about this 7 year old attention seeking kid?

Question

I have this 7 year old girl and she is really outgoing and cute.
Well, she loves spotlight, and she likes to be charming and funny so she gets attention from everybody, and she often is the center of attention doing it.

But the problem is that, when people aren't looking at her or she doesn't get attention, she gets angry and throws tantrums, saying no one likes her anymore.

I try to tell her that she can't expect to have all eyes on her all the time, but her dad spoils her so much and she doesn't listen.

Wut I do?

look i know beating is illegal
and i wouldnt ever SPANK the lil girl

but at least a soft slap on her hand and to leave her sitting down without TV and not givin her the attention she wants too often, only when necessary...wut u think?

Answer 1

Take it from a Step-Mom who's husband put his daughter into an institution who diagnosed her as "Just a self-centered, manipulating child." and advised us to "Give her to the State if she doesn't get better because she WILL ruin your life ON PURPOSE.", when told "I will not deal with her any more, YOU will."

Get both "her dad" and her together and, tell her first "Your actions are unacceptable and you WILL be punished when you act that way." Then, tell him, in front of her (and watch her face when you tell him this, even make him sign an "agreement": "when I punish her, you may not "un-punish her" because I am punishing her for acting badly and, by stepping in to un-punish her, you are undermining a good action".

Trust me. We have 3 daughters. After the oldest was given up to the state AND every agency that she was placed with wanted her OUT immediately because of her actions, and on her 18th birthday the counselor marched into her room, announced "It's 7:30, happy birthday. By 8:00am you will be packed and out of here!" my husband learned that being the "bad guy" is the best thing and it really is "tough love". If you let this child act this way, you are doing her no good and she will - premeditatedly undermine YOUR relationship eventually with her actions. Ours used to scream for hours until her father got home, which didn't bother me but did our other two daughters. My other daughers taught me to laugh at her actions as I punished her for it. (sent to her room/door open/sitting in a chair and I would tell her "you can scream all you want but it will be in that chair, with the door open")Once my husband had to pick her up from school or worse, the police department (THEY told him to get her the "H3LL" out of the police department any way he had to do it AND taught him "holds" to control her, that's how bad she eventually became (12 years old!) because her father let her get away with everything (you can bet our other two do not!) The institution had her for 4 months. By the 2nd month, they suggested that it "would be a good thing if another girl got ahold of her with her mouth" "it may teach her a valuable lesson".

Tough love. You do not have to be cruel to punish! My daughter told me, bad for her, good for me, "to put me in time out is the WORSE thing you could ever do!" Then there is television and the telephone. I even madr them stand in the corner. You are never too old to be embarrassed into being good that way! Simply making her sit in a chair and be still is good punishment and then, there are the "punishment chores".....cleaning the toilet. Cleaning out the garbage cans. dusting. ANYTHING but letting her to continue to act this way. YOU are not at fault and her actions are unacceptable and they WILL escalate! If you are a step mom, she is going through a bonding issue. She sees you as a threat. You have to let her know that, you KNOW you are not her parent but that YOU ARE IN AUTHORITY and YOU ARE in CHARGE and the punishment will stand. You also have to make her father agree to this, in front of her. This is a respect thing for her. She will be worse at first but, if you and her father maintain the agreement and stick to the punishment, it WILL PAY OFF!

My step daughter had a baby almost 2 years ago. I visited about a month after she had her baby and she said "YOU really are her grandma because you never STOPPED doing what was right for me, no matter how bad I was....I love you." |:o)

To think, this from the little girl who even went as far as to lie and have me investigated for child abuse and tried to break up my marriage....I NEVER gave up. I never took it personally. I never did anything mean or in retrobution. Just to try to teach a child acting badly that bad actions would not be tolerated! I sure hope her daughter doesn't act like she did! (This step daughter is actually my niece. My husband made his sister put her up for adoption after learning that her bio. mother had left her in her crib for 14 months, with the door shut. My husband was the one to adopt her! We even postponed our wedding date so he could! I would imagine that she had to scream to be fed, changed or get any attention.....my goal was to let her know we loved her and she did not need to act badly to be told or shown that.....tough, tough, tough years!)

Yes, tough love does pay off in the most wonderous ways no matter how much it hurts to DO it!

Answer 2

You are the mom I am assuming. Well, you might want to talk with her dad and make sure you are on the same page. I think your concerns are legitimate ones and this is a good time to start changing things.

Just imagine what she will be like, if she always needs to be the center of attention, when she is older - a teen - an adult. This is not really fair on her either you see - and it may help to see it that way, that you are also doing her a service, to help her not be so self-aggrandizing and self-centered (in addition to her charm and good qualities).

Seven is too old for tantrums, BTW, I think.

My advice would also be to draw the line, give consequences for bad behaviour (tantrums). And to absolutely control the opportunities she has for showing off. Do not let her charm you into letting her endlessly show off to you or anyone else.

Telling her is clearly not enough. You have to back up your words with some clear boundaries.

I wish you lots of luck - you will be doing her a good deed!

Answer 3

I assume you are the mother, if so, you are in for big trouble soon if you don't get a grip on the situation. The girl is not acting like a well adjusted 7 year old. It certainly seems like at least one maybe both parents are very immature. While the little girl might be cute, it's important for the parents to remember that almost all 7 year old girls are adorable. That alone does not make them nice. I suggest some parenting classes for both mom & dad if possible and quickly!

If you are not the mom, well then of course it is not your place to do anything. Best of luck!

Answer 4

Beating the child? Really?

Child needs a lesson in humility. She needs to spend some time seeing that the world just isn't about her.

I think that it would be good to work with her as a volunteer. You can volunteer passing out presents to lower income families, or working at a soup kitchen or a whole lot of different opportunities.

I think the fear is raising a child who is ungrateful and demanding. She needs to understand that sometimes others have to be in the spotlight and things are always about her. So take her into places that it won't be about her. Teach her humility.

Best of Luck.

Answer 5

She's old enough to understand what's acceptable. With my kids, they get attention when they're GOOD, not bad. So a stunt like that would end them up in solitary confinement (i.e. in their rooms.) I make it perfectly clear what's expected, and what will not be tolerated. Tantrums do not get audiences in my house - EVER. That's my rule. I say send her butt to her room until she calms down. Furthermore, she needs to understand that she does NOT, in fact, make up the center of the world. Some charity work might be good for her.

Answer 6

It is important to remember that children have no measure of the amount of attention they receive. In a child's eyes, all attention is great, weather its good or bad kind of attention. Give attention for all the good things she does, then when she does a bad thing like throwing a tantrum, tell her " i do not like it when you do that" then completely ignore it, leave the room if you need to. This will initially make her more angry, but you mus keep ignoring it. Eventually she will realize that no one gives her any attention when she behaves like that.

Answer 7

She does have a problem....created by adults, however, if mine, I would let her throw the tantrums until she gets it out of her system. If it is several times a day, so be it. She needs to learn that she isn't the center of attention and soon, or it will come back to bite you. If she does this at home, what does she do at school, and in public???? I would think she can be a terror. Kids really need to know their place, and when and where to act out.

Answer 8

You have to talk to dad and let him know he is doing great harm by spoiling her all the time. Attention is a great thing, but kids need to be able to amuse themselves also. He needs to know he will have a willful and disobedient child on his hands for the rest of his life because she will not learn to be independent. Good luck!

Answer 9

She is crying out for boundaries. All kids need boundaries, You need to let her know that there are times for play, and their are times for other things. Don't feel guilty when it comes to discipline. If she throws a fit, then she needs to be disciplined. You can give her attention and love when she has completed her punishment. She will love and respect you more for standing your ground.

Answer 10

I really don't thing "beating" is the right word. Besides, it's illegal to punish kids in some states now. (Haven't you wondered why there are so many brats popping up?)
But yeah, the woodshed can be the best answer at times.

You could also explain to her that no one likes to be around an angry person. Don't give her lessons in getting her way. If you give in when she acts a certain way, she will learn how to manipulate you.

Answer 11

sounds like she was brought up like that with lots of attention and never didn't get any time to where she had no attention focused on her. you could try to explain that the world don't revolve around her and there are other people out there.