Where we rude?

Question

Last night we had a school play. ( Look at my name) After the show we went to Friendly's to eat. Literally almost the whole cast of 45 was there. If it wasn't for the amount of money they made they would have kicked us out in a heartbeat. I told the waitress to take her time because i felt bad cuz of all the comotion. Anyways, we sit down and after 5 minutes a manger comes over to a table in front of us. The people were two women of about 30 or 40 started saying stuff like this: "This is ridiculous, these kids should be kicked out, its too nosiey in here, i want my food to go." then i overheard her turn to her little daughter and said: "Honey don't be like those kids when you get older." my point: Frist of all we weren't that loud. But honestly do you expect 45, 13 and 14 years old to be quiet when all of them know each other?? Does the woman not remember when she was 14?? We were just having fun and didn't mean to cause any trouble. If i was soo loud then i wouldn't have heard her.

if she wanted a place quiet and peaceful why would you go to friendly's on a friday night?? she should have known it would have been loud.

Great answers guys. I see both views now.

I was being very polite and i didn't leave a mess. I told the waitress to take her time and apologized for the nosie.

Answer 1

From what you said it doesn't sound like you guys were too loud. It was very rude of the woman to say that to her daughter! As long as you guys were behaving yourselves, then there was no need for the woman to be so rude. I have been to Friendly's a few times and every time I went there, there were always a lot of people talking and it didn't bother me.

Answer 2

You said that you weren't that loud, so I have to go on that.... but, if you were all treating the restaurant like a middle school cafeteria, then you may have been overly loud. It may have helped if one of your teachers mentioned that you should be respectful of others and not be rude. I imagine that the woman who got upset doesn't throw a fit all that often in restaurants. I also imagine that it was not the first time she had ever been to Friendly's, so she probably had a pretty good idea of what to expect. You kids weren't being deliberately rude, but perhaps you got a bit carried away and weren't aware of how loud you were. What's loud to teenager isn't the same loud to a 30 to 40 year old. So, I leave it to you. If you take an honest look at how you all behaved, were you being rude? If you acted like you would if you were out with your parents, I'd say you weren't being rude, but if you acted like you were in the school cafeteria, you probably were a bit too loud for a restaurant.

Answer 3

There are places to go where you know that children of all ages will be. When you go to those places you expect noise and some misbehavior. However, if you are dining at a very nice restaurant, you expect that you will not have to put up with children being obnoxious and misbehaving. My husband and I dined at a very good restaurant with a reservation at 8:30 PM. By the time we were seated it was almost 9 PM. Almost immediately after we were seated, a group came in with three young children (under 6) and they were seated in the same area. Needless to say, our dinner was ruined by the noise, commotion, screaming, whining, crying these children made. I did complain to the manager as I feel that when I am paying more than $100 for dinner, I expect peace and quiet. On the other hand, as I said when I am going to a family type restaurant, I can anticipate noise. So, yes this lady was rude. Too bad somebody didn't biff her.

Answer 4

We all remember how it's like to be 14. The simple truth is kids at that age have not learned to be considerate yet. If someone was complaining about the noise level, then you WERE being loud. No, I certainly don't expect 45 fourteen-year-olds to be quiet and respectful. But I ALSO don't expect to walk into a restaurant and find it taken over by kids who naturally have little regard for other customers.

You even said yourself "But honestly do you expect 45, 13 and 14 years old to be quiet when all of them know each other??"

Kids will be kids, but honestly, do you expect adults to be pleased when they are in a restaurant full of 45 loud teenagers?

So the answer to your question... were you rude? Maybe. Probably. But you are young, and have not learned how to be completely self-aware of your actions, and how others are affected. So maybe it's not really your fault. But if you guys want to be treated like adults, then you must act like adults.

I hope you tipped your waiters well. Because if you didn't, then you were more than rude.

Answer 5

Both you and the women are right.

You may be 13 or 14 but that does not give you a liscnese to do whatever you want. Do not let society and social norms dictate how you react or act to situations. Just because you know that a 13 or 14 year old can act childish does not mean you cant act mature.

But, You are right in the sense that a friendly's on a friday night is probably going to be busy. The women was just frustrated because she had a preexisting notion of how her night was going to be and people get mad when their preexisting notions of events are not met or are changed through the actual event at hand. This is actually the cause of most anger according to many psychological textbooks used in both college and highschool. So she was angry but rightfully so. My advice to that woman is to stop thinking that situations will go a certain way. My advice to you is to not beat yourself up. You are allowed to enjoy yourself...but hey, don't act like a child just because people say you are one.

And if you think that your friends are too childish and wont think as mature as you do...find more mature friends. But anyways. You weren't rude, you're expected to act like that. If anything the old women was rude.

Good job on your play and have a great day

Answer 6

You were in a public restaurant. So that means that everyone has to be respectful of others. I am sure there was a lot of noise coming from 45 teenagers. But saying that you are 13 or 14 is not an excuse. If you want to go to adult places you should act like adults. I mean maybe she just wanted a peaceful dinner, I think everyone should have that right. Maybe next time, your group could have a party at your school cafeteria and have food delivered that way you can be as loud as you want. That's what we used to do when I was in High School plays.

Answer 7

don't worry, this woman probably just wasn't expecting this.


i can't tell you whether you were rude or not, but i totally understand what you're saying. i think you were less rude than she was...

she might have had a headache or something. sometimes people just need to complain about something because they've had a bad day. you've done that once or twice, havent you?

well anyway, my suggestion for the next time something happens like that would be to really evaluate the sound level. if it's not that bad, don't blame it on yourself. if you know it is loud, maybe mention to people how others are trying to enjoy themselves too.

lemme tell you- one of the rudest things you CAN do when you're at a restaurant is leaving a mess. seriously. i just got back from work last night. anyway, i work at a restaurant. this bigger family comes in and makes a huge mess and doesn't even think about cleaning it up. they spilled their pop on CARPET and just left. there was ice cream and hot fudge all over the tables. it was as if they were trying to be messy so that i could clean it up for them. i might get paid to clean up at this place, but really- why would you do that? i'm not paid to be a maid for spoiled people.

sorry. went off on a rant.

anyway, basically try to be respectful and have a good time w/o causing too much annoying-ness. but you probably werent. so later! =0

rock on teenagers!

Answer 8

Forty-five people coming in at one time can be overwhelming for a restaurant; however, they're in business to make money, so I'm sure the inconvenience was small in comparison to the money they made. It would be a good idea for such a large group to call and let them know in advance so they can have things ready.

As to rudeness, no, if you were talking in an average "restaurant appropriate" way without shouting across the room and being grossly inconsiderate of the other customers, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 9

It isn't rude to go out unless the party was throwing food or intentionally annoying other customers or the serving staff. But that said, I think you know that teens are pretty loud and active compared with adults, and adults tend to not appreciate when they pay to go out for a good time but can't even hear each other because of a huge group of teens at the next table.

However, a group of 45 is rather big, and perhaps it would be best for that large of a group to go somewhere that has a private party room they can put you in.

My point is that you weren't rude, but when you travel in a huge pack, be on your best behavior and there shouldn't be any problems. IF there are, then the problem is with the other person, not you.

Answer 10

Yes, you were being rude and inconsiderate. You were in a social setting, so it is up to you to behave accordingly. If it was in the privacy of your own home or in a banquet room of the restaurant set aside for your party then that would be different. But since it wasn't and you aren't the only ones there, then you need to conduct yourselves in a manner which doesn't intrude unnecessarily upon others. Everyone else is a paying customer, too, so trying to excuse your behaviour by saying were generating money for the place doesn't cut it. And it could be said that through your behaviour they were actually losing money because customers were leaving, being put off by you. You are as bad as any rich snob who goes somewhere and does as they please because they think money changes the rules for them. Quit making excuses to allow bad behaviour in a public place. Saying you weren't as bad as you could have been doesn't mean you weren't bad at all or bad enough to cause legitimate complaint.

And if you really had any intention of being considerate, then you would have called ahead of time and informed them that you had such a large number of people coming by. That would have prepared the staff to accommodate you better and created a better atmosphere.

Edit: Apologizing to the waitress doesn't apologize to the other customers. She wasn't the only one having to deal with the kids. Saying that you apologized to one person doesn't admonish your behaviour. Frankly, you sound like the type of adult who wants to be the kids' friend above all else.