I dont know what to do since my dad died.?

Question

My dad died August 19, 2007, in a motorcycle accident. He was 43. After he had been in the hospital for a day. The Dr's came to me and said he wasnt going to make it and because i am 20 yrs old and he wasnt married that i had to make the decision to pull the plug. I made the call knowing he would want to be hooked up to machines, so I sat in the ICU and watched my dad give his last breath. It has been the most difficult thing ive ever had to deal with. I cant eat, i cant sleep, Im drinking to much. I dont talk about it to anyone, my mom, family friends, even my girlfriend. I dont know what to do. If i ever had a question he was there to answer them. I didnt get to say goodbye. Im lost without him. I dont know how to accept the fact that i will Never see, speak, touch, hug, or laugh with him again. How can i move on from this?

Answer 1

Here is one thing to do to help you heal. Write a letter to your dad. Fill a notebook if you have to. Ask him the questions you never had a chance to ask. Tell him how much you love him...I say that in present tense because he is there, helping you cope with all this. Make it a diary if you want to...a daily letter to him.

This is a form of prayer and whether you will believe it to be God or the spirit of your dad, the answers to the questions and some ease to your pain will subside. Very slowly. The sudden loss of a major person in your life is never intended to be over with in 4 months or even 4 years.

Do consider professional counseling, whether via your church/temple or a mental health professional. That person can help you sort out your feelings. You probably won't need therapy...just an ear.

Hang in there, guy. You have been handed a huge chunk of life in this. Know that you will be rewarded later for your care for your dad in the end. (((hugs)))

Answer 2

I am sorry son. it is hard losing a loved one.
You did what had to be done.You didnt kill him though, life and death is in the hands of GOD.People who should be dead according to the doctors are alive and vice versa.
Drinking will only add to your problems,I know you want to escape the pain, but you need to feel it and endure it until you can cope with it otherwise the drinking will take over and destroy you.
Get in church.I know this will sound foolish because it did to me but the longer I live the more I am convinced that JESUS IS the answer to ALL our problems.
Try the United Pentecostal churches they are great.

Answer 3

Condolences. I lost my dad just a few months ago too. I could hardly watch his slow painful death.
No one really "gets to say goodbye". Sounds like you loved him a lot and he loved you. Take comfort in that! He enjoyed his life [ motorcycle is a clue] and wont hurt anymore.
Forget God, mom, everything. If you want to drink, do it! When you get hungry you will eat. Sleepy, sleep. You will be fine. Dont let your dad see you miserable.
This will hurt forever but, it gets easier. You have to live for you. Just wait till you get kids.
Good luck and laugh for him. Chin up!

Answer 4

She goes by way of plenty above all with wasting each mom and dad at one of these younger age and it additionally turns out like she is afraid to get too nearly you for the reason that then it could no longer harm as a lot if she loses you too.. simply you should be there for her up to you'll. additionally she will have to be seeing a therapist or getting a few style of official support. probably you'll attempt to speak her into seeing one or going to the college counselor and telling him/her what's going on together with your female friend. yea she maybe mad however she will have to be in a position to become aware of finally that you're doing this for the reason that you like her and do not like to peer her this fashion and become aware of that she is fortunate to have you ever

Answer 5

Im so sorry to hear about your loss,I was in the same situation but with my mom (but im 13) and she suffered from a heart attack my father and I were both upset,I was young so i got over it but my dad,he was upset forever,but as I grew older and he could pick me up and play with me he took me everywhere,he started to become himself again,I made him happy,I beleieve somewhere along the line someone told him to go to a Therapist.Maybe try that being with the right people helps,if you have a child that is a great way to get over it,time will pass and it should get better,smiles will come up ,laughter,maybe go see your mom and talk about it with her to get it out of you,if you keep this all inside you wont ever feel any better,im not saying youre gonna forget everything,but the world must go on.Im sorry you had to hear my life story but I hope this helped. :)

Answer 6

This is a very painful thing to go through; you being so young and all. One: You should be able to talk to your mother about it, even if they are divorced (you said he wasn't married so i'm assuming they were divorced or never married) she once had feelings for him. Two: Talk to siblings..they're probably going through the same things. Three: You could go to therapy where they could help you better than I could just typing on my keyboard. Four: Just realize that he is gone and that he will always be in your mind, and you always in his. He's watching over you : )

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.It's going to take awhile to get over. You can talk to your Dad my witting something on paper on how you feel , all so how much you miss him and you can say good by.. Pray to God that is is in a good place now. For you I pray to God , to give you comfort and help you to be all right. There are places ,where you can go for counseling. I know it's going to be hard for you. I keep you in my prayers. God Bless you. One more thing take a day at a time.

Answer 8

well my friend i can't begin to tell you how sorry i am for what happen to your dad, well that's life. sometimes like it or not we're must let go with the closers people we 're love.
life is full of surpprises sometimes and .
there's nothing we 're can do about it. look
hang out with friend go to movies, churches
talk to people try to do things you have never done before like traveling, and take
all of he's pictures out from your side .and try not to have any jokes about him or conversations with other people about how
he die or what kind of person he was. i know things i just said now may sound funny to you, but that's the only way you will stop thinking about him. and i know it's gonna be hard for you to eat, but you must eat and try to stop drinking.

Answer 9

wow...i'm really sorry, but yeah, it is hard to overcome that fact....and knowing that he's not there would just hurt you...i'm sure your friends are helping you cope...i don't have any suggestions, but go to places that you like and enjoy life w/ your family and friends. we all need to move on and your dad will be very proud of you if you did that....sorry, i'm like four yrs. younger than you and i have NO clue how to respond to these types of questions.

Answer 10

That is so sad but don't you still have a mom to love? i think you should go somewhere you can enjoy to forget about him. if you want to be with him more visit the graveyard. i hope this helps cuz it is avery hard question.