OK, I have a 2 month old baby boy, my boyfriend and I live right next door to his parents...his dad is nice...but his mom drives me nuts, I mean I'm not the type to hate anyone, but she is horrible, I mean she comes over and is always telling me what to do with my baby, or how to do it, she thinks she knows everything, not only with the baby but she's nozy, wants to know everything about our lives, tells us how to do things.. She's a busy body, has to have her big nose everywhere, before I had the baby, I could handle her but now that I have him, she seems to be worse, I hate people telling me what to do with my baby, I know him more than anyone!!! My bf knows how I feel and I told him that I can only take so much, I'm afraid that one day I'll snap and it'll cause a big thing...anyone have any sugggestions? how can I handle her? Also, when you talk to her , it seems like sometimes it goes in one ear out the other.
2007-12-01 06:24:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. I've seen this a million times, and I'll tell you the only thing that seems to work.
1. You have to try to understand that she has more experience than you as a mother, so she assumes she knows better than you. If you ignore her "advice" and just get defensive -things will get worse between you and her (even if your way is better) You have to acknowledge her advice and maybe even thank her for it, and then if you want- still do it your way. Like saying "that's great, maybe i'll try that, but right now - this seems to work". But in all fairness, mothers are naturally protective, and she's being a "busy body" because she wants to make sure her son and grandchild are in good hands. It's hard being a mom, you know, so don't disrespect her -try to see some good in what she's doing.
2. If she sees you doing a good job she will start to respect things being done your way. So instead of telling her what to do or fighting to be heard, show her what a great mom you are and that things are under control and that you don't need her to "butt in" (show- not say)---But most of the time, having a new baby is A LOT OF HARD WORK! and i don't know anyone who doesn't need help. So if you can use her help, be honest with yourself and let her help you. Don't let your pride destroy your relationship with his mom. She might be a good babysitter when you need to take a shower or a nap or eat!!
Good luck and congrats on the baby!
2007-12-01 06:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by maggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any issues and problems in the family need to be discussed. As 2 grown and mature adults, you need to talk and air each other opinion about how to solve your issues. Do the first move.
There's no harm in trying. Try to come up with ideas and solutions on how to deal with each other and without hurting both feelings. If the talking doesn't work, it's your call on how to manage your life and raise your family. Besides, you don't live with them in one roof. The decision is yours to make. Your boyfriend should stand by you no matter what the consequence(s) is(are).
2007-12-01 06:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy_ G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've taken the first step in talking to your bf about the situation- major plus. Talk to his mom and tell her that you appreciate her advice and that you know she means well, but you want to find out what its like to be a parent on your own and if you need help- she'll be the first person you go to.
Even if you don't, saying it kind of eases the tension. It may be a little weird at first and she may take it offensively so just try to be a little understanding. Eventually she'll see that you know what you're doing and back off. Don't forget to talk to your bf about what you want to say to her. YOu want him to know so she can't twist things around. Good luck!
2007-12-01 06:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound like the TV show everyone loves raymond. living right next door is a BAD idea. my in laws live 4 hours away, a perfect distance. She doesn't really mean any harm by it, although i know it drives you nuts. she honestly thinks she is helping. that is the way she raised your BF and thinks all moms do it that way too. just tell her thank you for her opinion and will think about that while figuring out what works for you.
also when i had my son, i asked my mom for advice, she told me her mother in law was just like this. so she will only give advice if i ask. you might want to ask your mother in law about HER mother in law when your BF was a baby. if she said she was real nosy. then ask her how she felt about it.
ultimately, you are mom, and what you says goes. But really, she thinks she is helping.
2007-12-01 06:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by old bitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move! Get some distance between you so she can't just trot across the lawn and pester you all of the time.
When she starts on her wave of advice/criticism just tell her you appreciate her trying to help but she needs to let you handle things your way. Tell her she raised her child and now she needs to let you raise yours. Best of luck!
2007-12-01 06:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm take a look at (suits your specifications?) •Kaze no Stigma •Special A •Earl and Fairy •Lovely Complex •Toradora! •True Tears •Lamune •Kaichou wa Maid Sama •Ouran Highschool Host Club •Hakuouki additionally take a look at (simply romance) •Vampire Knight •Clannad •Kanon •Bokura ga Ita •Earl and Fairy •Marmalade Boy •Midori Days •Spice and Wolf thats all i will be able to consider of :)
2016-09-05 17:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by winkels 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her it's your son and you know how to take care of him. consult your boyfriend about this. it's an issue and it's bothering yo u!
as for the info she tries to dig, don't tell her. just say polietly, "i'm sorry, that's personel"
suggest moving out if it gets serious
2007-12-01 06:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah get married and the both of you MOVE.
Also realize your b/f's mom has MORE experience in raising kids than you do, she raised your baby's dad didnt she?
In the meantime ,realize she means well and is just trying to HELP.Be polite.
2007-12-01 06:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm.... jz talk to yr boyfrend n ask him 2 do sumthin abt it ASAP><
2007-12-01 06:30:47 · answer #9 · answered by Rina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her. When I need your help. You will be the first one I will go to ok.
2007-12-01 06:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋