'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin and groanin.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done;
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
Then grins as he chuckles, "The eggnog is ready!"
2007-12-01 04:14:37 · 11 answers · asked by .... 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams, "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh drat, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live till next year,
you won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'll have it all catered!!!
2007-12-01 04:14:48 · update #1
Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
You've done it again, Rose!! Have another star!
2007-12-01 05:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Green bean casserole never fails. Get 2 cans of french cut style green beans along with 1 can of cream of mushroom soup. Mix together with a 1/4 teaspoon of pepper and a splash of soy sauce. Pour into a greased pan and bake at the 350 for about 45 minutes. Sprinkle french fried onions on top and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Mashed potatoes are really easy. Peel and cube them and boil them unil soft, about 10 to 15 minutes. Drain, and then mash them with butter and some sour cream if you want. Buy some rolls at the store or get refridgerated dough.
2016-04-07 01:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice to see a good excuse for not cooking. Lol
2007-12-01 04:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by Cathleen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
think i'll hire a chef hun, pmsl
star time
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2007-12-01 05:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by tastybits 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh love it (stolen and copied to everyone I know!!!) Fanks!
2007-12-01 04:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by Sal*UK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Very good Rose.!!!
Cooking is a massive mission, lol.!!!
Cheers lady.!!
2007-12-01 04:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awh. I loved it. Christmas is my favorite, this just made my day. (:.
2007-12-01 04:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
brilliant sums up how i feel about cooking!
2007-12-01 04:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by avalanche 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
smashing, enjoyed it very much*
2007-12-01 04:32:22 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
VERY GOOD. CHEERED ME UP :]
2007-12-01 04:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by Zorro. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋