Daughter needs to pay rent?

Question

I told my daughter that when she turns 19, she is either required to move out of the house, or if she wants to live with me, she'll have to start paying rent. She seems to think life is so simple, as her best friend is a 26 year old girl who still lives at home!! Since when are 20 year olds still living with their parents?? I told my daughter that she better start looking for a place to live, or get a second job to pay the rent at my place because her 19th birthday is less than 30 days away.
How much should I have my daughter

Back in the day, my parents said the same thing to me, but I was out of the house on my 18th birthday so I never had to worry about paying rent. My siblings and friends on the other hand had to pay various amounts, depending on how much their parents mortgage was. I was thinking of charging her $200 a month for the first few months just to be nice. What do you think?

Answer 1

yeah, things were different when we were 18 - we had to move out and be on our own - no help from mom and dad!

Split the bills by the number of people living there. My 18yr old pays rent too, and I hate doing it, but in my case, I have no choice! I'm just on disability and when she's taking 20 min showers, my utilities go up. Get a rent receipt book, and don't back down.

If it's just you two - 50/50 on everything (do an average on utilities, add the last 12 months / 12 = average). And if she has her own cell phone bill, oh well, that extra for her to take care of!
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For those 'bleeding hearts' that think that paying rent is cruel and unusual punishment, even in 3rd world countries everyone in the household pitches in. The daughter's ability to show some maturity by being financially responsible for her own upkeep and not coddled by mommy/daddy should be a lesson well learned.

Answer 2

I think you should start with $25 a week. You can always increase it. If you set the rent too high you may find she cannot afford to move out, because she cannot save enough money.

Also if you are a good parent you will keep the rent money and give it back to her when she moves out. This will help her on her way. Don't tell her you are going to do this, it will be a nice surprise.

But the principle is right, you don't want her being a loser like her friend who still lives at home at the age of 26.

There was a program on TV the other day about millennials and they said this generation often don't really grow up, until 26. I think that's pretty pathetic. I purchased my first home when I was 23, with no help from anyone. I can't imagine how pathetic I'd feel if I had still been living at home with my parents.

Answer 3

If your daughter has a job then she should certainly be helping with the mortgage and/or upkeep of the house. What you charge her I suppose depends a lot on how much she makes and how much debt she has. But if she is still in school and only working at a part time job then she shouldn't be expected to pay too much rent. Two hundred dollars a month is certainly not too much to ask for room and board. Like yourself I certainly agree that she should be aware of what life holds for her when she leaves the nest and so should be responsible for helping to pay her way. I also know of many parents who refuse to charge their kids rent even though they are in their 20's and have pretty good jobs. Personally I do not believe that they are doing these young adults any favours but that is just my feeling. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Being about your age I totally agree with you. 20 through 30 year olds living at home with their parents, I really don't understand it. Parents who allow the kids to stay at home and support them after they are adults are not doing the kids any favors. How much rent is hard to say-depends on your financial status, hers, the rent in the area. I would research rents in the area and then charge her half of it to be fair. If you don't she'll be there at 26. Do not basse it on her income-what happens when she quits or gets fired? A neigbors 31 daughter has been staying with then temporarily for almost two years and still can't find a job thar she "likes" or "up to her standards" so she doesn't work and they support her completely. Wrong and is not showing her they care or love her just making her beleive she is something special and this is NeverNever Land.

Answer 5

In answer to your question about 20 year olds still living with their parents, in today's economy, that is not at all unusual. With rent as high as it is in most places, it's difficult for someone right out of high school to make enough money to cover all expenses.

Charging her $200 a month is extremely reasonable. If she balks at that, help her come up with a realistic budget of what it would cost her to live on her own including rent, utilities, transportation, food, etc. and give her a comparison so she can see that she's getting a bargain. You may also want to introduce her to your actual expenses in running the household to show her how reasonable you're being.

I've seen rooms for rent at $100 plus per week which works out to $400 per month for just a room with a shared bath and kitchen privileges. Essentially, in your home she'd be renting comparable space. This is a good idea to teach her the responsibilities of adulthood. Good job, Mom.

Answer 6

I think it’s a good thing that a child should start paying rent. It’s responsibility that they will need regardless but to have an ultimatum “pay up or get out” seems a bit mentally tough. I would probably base the rent on the payments that she can afford if she is trying to hold down a job and go to school to. I just don’t know enough about the situation at hand. But paying rent is in my opinion a good thing. She shouldn’t let her friends fool her thinking that home can be a flop house as I was always told growing up but it should be a safe harbor in times of trouble and you don’t want her to think that she can’t rely on that.

Answer 7

The rules around my parents' house were usually that they have to work and pay rent, or go to college and work to pay at least the majority of their own tuition/books... she can float college loans if she wants to, but she will be responsible for them.

Yes, at 18 they are adults and should have graduated, but actually earning a living usually requires more education. If they don't have the knowledge for a decent career, they will in and out of your house with their employment fortunes for years to come. You don't want them coming back with kids in tow.

It is true that this society seems to discourage the kids from launching. There is a fine line between providing a launch platform and impeding progress.

I would say that a figure not to exceed 1/4 of her paycheck for rent would be reasonable. You may take a little more and put it into a savings account for her.
Either way, you need to sit her down and spell things out.

Answer 8

Thats the thing. Times have really changed. Try to not look back to your own life since that is irrelevant now. But assess her attitude, her needs and your abilities and reach a balance. It is a huge transition these days to be on ones own. As much as you have your standards, your life will be easier if you relax a little and realize that she definitely will be out when she is in her later 20s ( and girls dont really mature until then or later anyway ). Its all different now. Another way you could offer is to help her find a place and subsidize it for a while if you truly want to get rid of her. There is no easy way. its a very difficult time for you both.

Answer 9

Um...
Ok, I can sort of see your point. You don't want to support your kid for the rest of their life. But, she's not even 19 yet!

What sort of message is this sending her? It sounds like you've been counting the days for her to grow up so you can be rid of her! And that your charging her rent is a way to force her to move out.

If you love your kid, you want them to have the best chance for success in life. Why do you want her to be working her *** off at some crappy job to support herself?

You should encourage her to go to college. Do you know how many parents pay tens of thousands a year to send their kids to school, where they do little more than party? I'm not saying let her ride the gravy train, but I think you should help her form a plan for her life and help her accomplish it.

Help her apply for financial aid or scholarships. If you're not claiming her on your income tax as a dependent, she'll probably get a free ride to college. Then she can live in a dorm. She can get a part-time job to have spending money.

Sounds like you're just setting her up for failure.

Answer 10

Okay I'm happy your charging rent, but $200 a month? And that's just the start? And I think you should know that 19 year olds do live with their parents. The oldest a child should move out is 22. I suggest you wait until then. Right now olnly charge her $25 and raise it over the next 3 years up to $200. Then when she turns 22, help her get an apartment.