Girlfriend's drinking problem...?

Question

My girlfriend has some serious issues with alcohol. She used to come back to her dorm completely wasted about 3 times a week, vomiting everywhere, and then would black out. She wouldn't remember anything the next morning.

She recently has admitted that she has a problem. I think this is a good first step.

However,

Although she has been trying to quit, last night she had a few shots with some friends. Thankfully she was able to stop at 5, but I'm still not happy about it.

We've talked this morning and she apologized for a long time. I can tell she actually meant it and I know that she really does want to get control of this, but she's having a lot of trouble with it.

So my question is, what can I do to help her? What should I say to her or what should I do? I feel like I've tried so many things and now I'm running out of ideas on how to make this easier for her...

It's also worth mentioning that we got to different colleges and only see each other over breaks.

thanks for the input.

I know she won't lie to me. In fact, I never would have found out about last night unless she had chosen to tell me. She knows that honesty is more important than anything else, so I know for certain that she isn't drinking loads behind my back.

thanks again for the input.

about her family:

there's a small history of substance abuse (not alcohol) with her parents, which is now under control. But because of this, she is embarrassed to go to them for help. She doesn't want them to associate her with the problems they've had in the past. I think that's reasonable, but it just makes it harder to solve this problem now.

Answer 1

All the apologies and good intentions in the world won't change the fact that she's a problem drinker. She can't stop for you, and right now she may not be able to stop for herself....but if she can truthfully recognize it as a problem, she can go get help. (She can't stop for them either, but they'll ask tough questions of her that'll make her examine her motivations more closely than either of you could by yourselves.) This will help her surrender the excuses and face this situation head-on. It is not easy, and it won't happen until she's ready. But when she is ready, being excuse-free clears the path for genuine self assessment, and ultimately, battling her demons. You personally have some tough days ahead. There's not a lot you can do, but the little bit that's available to you is of paramount importance. You have to be empathetic, but not accomodating. Sensitive, but firm....and you will have to be more patient than you ever thought possible, because life goes on in the meantime. Problems she had before she began drinking are still going to be there waiting for her, completely unresolved....life never waits for us to catch up. So, she'll be tempted to be discouraged by the enormity of her situation once she gets a sober view of it; you'll be there to help her realize that's a step in the wrong direction. Good luck to you both. It's a noble struggle, but it's also a b i t c h.

Answer 2

She apologized to you but she might be still doing it. So I suggest you go to the doctor with her to solve her problems. Otherwise talk to her again and say bad stuff about the alcohol that would make her wanna quit. Say something like "If you continue, you will die! That's what the doctor said."

Answer 3

Talk to someone associated with al-anon. I'm sure you would get lots of ideas. You also could offer to go to some meetings with her.

Answer 4

you might need to get her family involved .. if you really care for her.. now is the time! they may know and i believe its something they would be willing to help with.. also see about getting her to talk to her school counselor.. maybe going to an AA meeting.. get in the habit of going to them..

Answer 5

maybe she needs rehab or AA and new sober friends