Anyone wanna try and cheer me up and/or offer suggestions?

Question

I've just been told I need brain surgery in January, and possibly 2 more follow up's after that. As you can imagine I'm feeling a bit down. The kids dad is refusing to look after our children, and they sure as hell, ain't going into care, soo there's a possibility that I won't be able to have it, therefore I may get worse. My mum can't have them she's way too poorly, and there's no one else i'd trust.

suggestions

Just to clarify....my kids DO care, I don't want them to go INTO care . :p
I understand it may have to be, but it scares me, more than the surgery.

Answer 1

fetch them here and i will look after them. they will have to work as slave labour in a bowling alley for peanuts. but hey, they will have a roof over their heads. If that doesnt sound appealing, we have a freight container you could lock them in, just leave a small gap to pour the milk and the lucky charms through and we are sorted. there isnt a hole for the bowl mind so they will have to try and catch it in their hands.


As for the father, tell the ******* little sh*t b**tard w**ker to grow up, the kids are his responsability too. Your surgery is very important if its to do with your brain (I assume). if you dont go through with it, you night not be around for your kids forever!!! surely (and im not calling you shirley) there is a care worker that can visit your home after the surgery to make sure you are able to care for yourself and the kiddies.
if you, a care worker maybe your mom and their dad work together im sure it will all be fine in the end.


Me+c+m thinking of you,sending you all the luck you need to resolve your problems. :)

Answer 2

That's pretty seriously grim. You don't say what sort of brain surgery is needed, but it doesn't seem a great idea to put it off - things like brain tumours only get bigger, though perhaps it's something different, but you are acknowledging that you may get worse.

When you say you're not willing to put the kids into care, I do understand why you wouldn't want that, but if you get seriously ill that's where they're going to end up, rather more permanently, so it would seem to me that you might find a good solution in arranging for them to go into care for the minimum time before you're going to be able to look after them again, and if you ask for this now, you should be able to know where they're going, hopefully a foster carer who you can meet and talk to, and prepare them for. This would also mean that you could easily stay in contact as soon as you're OK enough after surgery. This really does seem a better solution to me than not going for the surgery and risking your kids' future in a more serious way.

It's sickening that their father won't care for them while you need his help, but if that's how it is, that's how it is.

Answer 3

Wow. I'm sorry to hear the position that you're in. You probably should have the surgery if it's what you need, without it you wouldn't be able to care for your kids right anyway if you're getting worse. What about their dad's parents, will they help? Try contacting social services, since this is medical and not that you want to abandon your kids I imagine they can help and you can still be in custody of your kids but they will get the care that they need and you will be able to recover. And just because you're recovering, and your kids and being taken care of by someone else doesn't mean that you won't get to see them. Just make sure they know exactly what is going on, all of it, and make sure to tell them that you love them and they know it. You have to do what will be the best and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

First thing Monday morning you need to get on the phone to social service agencies. They can find temporary care for kids in times of family crisis. The people who do this don't take in kids for the big bucks the government pays but out of big hearts. And naturally, once your health permits, you get your kids back.

It's a shame their father accepts no parental responsibility, but some people are like that. It's also a shame that your kids don't care, but that reflects more on your bond with them than anything else. These things change with effort--and today might be a good day to begin.

Best of luck with a positive outcome.

Answer 5

Are you in the UK? Go to your local paper and appeal for some grandparents to share Christmas with you, as I assume his mum isn't interested either? You don't have to say you have a problem, you can broach that later and they could come and stay in your house while you have the op and then the kids also get new adopted grandparents. I know it might sound a crazy idea but I have seen something like it done before.
Good luck, hope all goes well.

Answer 6

Have the surgery so you'll be around longer for the kids. Change your attitude about "trust" and find someone who will care about your kids--even if they aren't perfect.

Answer 7

I don't know if you are a member of a church, but if you are this would be a great place to start, even if you haven't visited your church in a while. Church family members are big supporters of each other in their time of needs physically, mentally, financially & spiritually. If you are a church member seek help there, I hope everythings works out for you and pray for much needed help and a miraculous recovery.

Answer 8

because earth is sh!t I might go depending on the rules on mars Can I drink How many people there Any religious nutters goin What's it cost And many more questions would need answering

Answer 9

Why not try and enjoy the Christmas with your precious children and then worry about what's going to happen after.

Answer 10

get in touch with your health visitor hun good luck