Sex...is it fun?

Question

Well...Im 13 years old.Im thinking about sex.I dont want to have it but I wonder what it's like.Umm....how do I get rid of peer pressure when a boy asks me to have sex with him.I want to say no,but I dont want him to hate me..Help!

Answer 1

you're still very young. don't do it

Answer 2

You are right to not want to 'do it' yet. Keep saying no and don't be worried about what those boys think. If a guy really doesn't like you because you won't have sex with him, he's not someone that you want to like you in the first place. Surround yourself with people that respect you and treat you like a valued human being, not with people that want to take something from you. Ok, so there's my advice, now on to your answer.

Sex, well... It's not actually as good as everyone makes it out to be. The reason people portray it that way is that it does something for them. From what I understand, it usually helps people to feel a bit better about themselves and helps boost their confidence. Honestly, it's a very poor way to do that considering the enormous consequences that will most likely follow if you're not married to the person you sleep with. I'm talking about STDs, rumors, relationship issues (what if you break up someday?), stress, and all kinds of other stuff that you're really better off not experienceing.

I personally get more enjoyment and I feel better after a game of paintball than I do after sex. I have been playing paintball since I was 13, sometimes once a week. No matter how stressed I got, paintball always made me feel alot better and never had the horrendous consequences that sex does. If you are stressed, find something you love to do that you can focus on, sex is a really BAD way to relieve stress in the long run.

I had sex once, with a girl that I loved with all of my heart. That girl had even agreed to marry me. It seemed ok at the time, but not a month later she broke up with me and started dating someone else. Imagine how much that hurts. Please, watch out for yourself and don't make the mistake that I made. Wait until marriage, not because some people say so, but because you'll feel alot better for it in the long run. Who knows, the stress you avoid could even allow you to live a few wonderful years longer.

In a nutshell, yes sex is fun, but NOT worth the consequences in my opinion.

Answer 3

What you need to understand is that in the world of having sex you are the one who controls that world. Men like to think that they dominate the world, but women can dominate and control men with sex. don't let peer pressure or some kid push you into something that you don't really want. Do it on your time and under your conditions. If you put out like "every other girl" then you are like every other girl. If you don't, they may say some things about you, but you will be in control. They may say many things about you, but you will be stronger for it. Also, sex is supposed to be fun. At your age, which is a bit young, the guy will last about 30 seconds and it is not any fun for you. Wait until you can have fun with it.

Answer 4

Since you don't want to have sex, then don't. Say "no," and do so firmly -- and refuse to debate the matter.

"Peer pressure" really is quite easy to resist -- you simply ignore it. At your age, children are concerned with how they are perceived, but there is nothing wrong with being an independent thinker -- and a true individual, rather than a lemming. So when others suggest you do something because "everyone's doing it," you are under no obligation to grant their request by participating -- courteously but resolutely decline.

As for the young gentleman in question, I doubt that your refusal will make him "hate" you. If it ends up making him go away, take comfort in knowing that you resisted a manipulative clod.

Oh, and sex can be fun, but it can also be very complicated. Re-read the second half of your first sentence: "I don't want to have it." Since you have that resolution, stand by it. Trust me, you have many years of adulthood during which you can experience it.

Answer 5

Yes it is fun, otherwise no one would have babies, although it can be painful for a girl/female the first time.

But PLEASE don't rush into it, especially at 13. Wait. Take your time growing up. Find other outlets. Take matters in to your own hands, as it were, if you really feel you must. But wait until you are older to have sex. 13 is WAY too young.

And don't worry about a boy hating you for not putting out. If you have your self respect, you will always have boys coming around. Never let yourself get pressured into sex. Truth is men need women much more than women need men.

Answer 6

First of all it is illegal and the person doing it could go to jail for sex with a minor child.

Do you want to have a baby to raise at 13 by yourself (cause the guy will usually drop you when you get pregnant)?

Do you want to catch crabs (pubic lice), herpes, genital warts, chlamidia, syphillis, gonnorhea, HIV/AIDs or the like? Some of them can't be cured and will be with you for life.

Make sure you are old enough to handle the repercussions before you take on an adult responsibility.

Also there can be the hurt you feel when you are very young and have sex with someone thinking that they "love" you when they have sex with you, dump you and call you names at school and tell everyone what you did with them.

Discuss this with the school nurse or counselor if you can't talk to your parents about it. Just say NO! He doesn't love you if he is pressuring you to do such a thing. Say No. I don't do that. If he hates you...well then he would have dumped you after sex and told everyone at school how you will sleep with anyone...after all you slept with him, didn't you?

Answer 7

Sex is wonderful, but when its with the right person. Right now your too young, and I'm glad that you understand that. Just say no when you are asked. I'm sure its not that easy, but if the boy likes you enough he will respect your decision to not have sex. If he hates you for not having sex with him, then he isn't worth your time anyway. You don't have to wait forever, but wait until you have found someone that you love and want to share something so personal with. Keep Strong, don't let the pressures get to you! You will be happy you didn't!

Answer 8

I keep thinking back to when i starting having sex at age 14 and it's the only thing i wish in life that i would change! That i waited till i knew enough to talk about sex openly and honestly with my boyfriend that really respected and honoured me as whether or not he will be your life partner, it is something that you will never forget....your first! And it wasn't till that i met that guy ( a few forgetful boyfriends later) that sex became a whole other world for me to discover!
It is so amazing to have sex with someone you really like and respect and vise versa.... Believe me....guys will always be presuring you for sex, just be upfront and assertive and tell them 'not to presure you as their is no way your going to have sex until your in a very steady relationship!'
Back to the question...It's the most fun i've had in any experience in life!!! But all with timing ok...like turning 18 or 21 or getting your licence, or married, or a good job...you need to plan it and you'll be even more happy that you did plan it right!

Answer 9

to be honest with you,

at 13 years old, you shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of having sex with anyone. i urge you to focus on your family, school, and friends,and just being a young teenager.

sex is something that can wait until you are much older.

if some boy is pressuring you to have sex, then it's clear that he doesn't respect your value and worth. it shouldn't matter to you whether or not you "don't want him to hate" you. his opinion of you does not matter.

in the end, what will you do if you give your virginity to him, and he leaves you? what will happen if you give him your virginity, and you either get pregnant or an STD? what will happen if you sleep with him and end up regretting it?

save yourself the heartache, pain, and confusion. save your vriginity for your husband.

Answer 10

If he forces you -- he does hate you. You are waaaaaaaay too young. Wait until you are married, or it will cause you pain in all sorts of ways. If you do not marry the guy, you create an emotional tie that will ultimately be ripped apart. The scars and the damage caused to your heart is way worse than having an immature idiot dump you for saying no. If he's not willing to commit and marry you, he's only going to cause you pain. So yeah, pre-marital sex hurts.

Answer 11

When kids are 13 years old, they have no idea what sex is all about. And for the girl, it is usually very unfulfilling. You have to think about why you would let anyone use your body for their own selfish purposes. Really-it's no fun till you get older.
And with the increase in HPV and Chlamydia, you shouldn't want to have it.