The month after Christmas?

Question

Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot...
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Answer 1

crikey, lets get christmas out the way first

Answer 2

Really good ! How much you lose sitting writing that lot. Nothing ? Bet you put some on. All the best for 2009.

Answer 3

Brilliant, i can just imagine the amount of people that's true for! I'm one of them. 10/10 well done.

Answer 4

I loved it. Going to copy it and send it to my wife. Just a sec, gotta put my flak jacket back on.

Answer 5

And a Happy New Year to You also---Excellent poem!!!

Answer 6

Thanks for that,I'm going to feel sooo guilty but what the heck it's only one day a year!

Answer 7

Great have copied it, pasted it and sent it on.

Answer 8

haha brilliant

Answer 9

Jokes are great today. lol

Answer 10

sums up xmas to a t!