Why don't we teach our kids that NO SEX before marriage is best? Please read!?

Question

I don't understand why we as parents and educators don't teach our children that abstinence is the best choice. Instead, schools are teaching children, yes, children, kids in 7th and 8th grade that sex is "okay" as long as you use protection and they are even making it possible to get ahold of condoms and birth control at the school. Why don't they teach that abstinence is best? Sex is not the game that they make it out to be - it can be a very real danger! Being sexually active before marriage, you run the risk of STDs, AIDS, teenage pregnancy, and the emotional hurt and pain that goes along with sex before marriage. It's not the game that teens make it out to be. Period! It is a real risk, and with more and more teens becoming sexually active because schools and parents are saying it's "okay", the risks are rising! Why don't parents and schools educate kids and tell them "Don't Have Sex Before Marriage" because the consequences are real and can be and are devastating?

I"m not saying don't teach them about STDs, what i'm saying is to emphasize that sex is not safe outside of marriage under any circumstance. The only "safe sex" is married sex. If you don't have sex beforfe you're married and your husband or wife doesn't either, then you don't run the risk of STDs, AIDS, or unwanted pregnancies! The reason that I'm really concerned about this is because even though I waited until I got married, my husband didn't (he had multiple partners in his early years in the Navy), and didn't inform me about any of it, and as a result I received an STD from him after we were married and found out about his past sex life after I received this from him.

That wouldn't have happened if he had abstained from sex before marriage. Period. All STDs and everything else out there that is sex related could and would be prevented if people waited until they were married to have sex, and that is how we need to educate our children.

Answer 1

I did. Their answer is that they are doing it anyways, so teach them birth control. I know for a fact, after listening to kids talk, that they were not interested in sex until they were taught in school.

Answer 2

Because the bottom line is all of tweens I was in middle school with were taught abstinence. But most of them came out pregnant by high school. I was lucky because when I was in high school i volunteered at an organization that taught safe sex. I became a peer educator. And there i learned that even with a condom you can still catch STD's and I was shown the photographs( blown up way big) or every type of STD you can imagine. That just scared me. And I worked with people that were suffering from aids. So it put a lot of things in perspective for a very long time. It's also sad that AIDS is on the rise again among 14-25 year olds. For your kids I would tell them honestly how I felt ( they do listen, I did) and get a book on STD's and show them tell them what can happen. Have them volunteer at a clinic.

Answer 3

I am some what in the same boat on this issue. I am 26 years old and had waited till recently to give it up. But I only gave it up becouse I could support a family if my girlfriend got pregnant. She did but had a miscarrage. My family dose not know exept a few. My mom certenly dose nto know. She believed I was a good boy that would wait till marrage. Now that you know that I can tell you this. I agree with waitting till marrage. It shows that you are giving it up to some one you truly love. It lessions the risk of STD's and it shows that you are in a better poshion to support a child. I think that sex education in school is wrong. Children should learn about sex from there parents. It is the parents responsibilty any way not the schools or the governments. So my awnser would be Yes I would teach my kids about sex. And Urge them to make responsible choices wihen it comes to sex. But if they end up doing it before then I will be understanding. And if they should have a kid or get pregnant I would make them step up. I am pro life. The child should not die becouse of the parents misjudgment. I would help them care for the kid though.

Answer 4

Well first off, you are living in some kind of dream world, and "just say no" programs don't work.

And second, I have a strong feeling that you are not really that concerned about the consequences, but you were probably brought up to have a very warped and unhealthy view of sex. You are just against sex. Period. Most of the people that I have seen going around presenting abstinance only programs, have big "sexual issues" of their own, and in a big way. And some are what I would even coin as being "overly religious" to put it nicely.

I have several children. I have asked them about the "absinence" programs that come to their schools, etc, and they just laugh. They were all brought up receiving complete knowledge and every one of them grew up without getting an STD, being pregnant, etc. Some of them are now single adults, and having sex. But that is fine, because they are responsible adults and "normal" people have sex.

A well rounded program that teaches all aspects of sex education is not going to make them go out and have sex like crazy.

And what a laugh. Guess what? Everyone does not get married now days! So, are you telling them, even adults to not have sex?

I think you are probably the one who is a little off center here, and you need to chill out and stop being obsessed with this for whatever reason.

The government has just completed very expensive studies on this, which shows that the absinence only programs don't work. But I guess you will think this is a conspiracy theory of some kind.

In the world we live in, everyone needs to be educated about diseases, birth control, pregnancy, etc. so they can make responsible decisions.

Did it ever occur to you, that you might be the one who is wrong, by having such a limited and head in the sand view?

Some parents have "bat sense" so to speak.

And by the way, the countries that have the least incidents of STD, teen pregnancy, etc. are those that have "complete" sex education.

I would like to ask you an interesting question. Would you be willing to model your countries sex education policies after those that have the most effective? And can you guess what kind of program they have? I bet you have an idea. But I would really wonder if you would be interested.

Including a link below, that you may like to read, if you are really interested in responsible sex education.

Answer 5

I wasn't aware that they were teaching that. I thought they were teaching abstinence but realized that children were doing it anyways. I think the thought is if they are going to do it, we as a society should try and at least keep them safe. You can teach a child something until you are blue in the face. Children are going to try things, especially when parents tell them they shouldn't. Some kids listen, others don't. I know I will try and teach my girls not to have sex. But if they are going to I want to know that they aren't going to get an STD or get preggers. In a perfect world we could all say to our children "don't have sex before marriage" and they would listen. But I think anyone w/ children must know that that's not how it works.

Answer 6

Talk to your child and show your concern. My mother is a nurse, and worked in the unit were people with stds and so on were on there death bed. She would often give me the sex talk, about the best way is abstinence, if i must go along with having sex to be very careful, because HIV is spreading rapidly. I even new people in middle school who became HIV positive! That scared me enough to not even think about having it early. You can also consult the principal about your feelings on this issue, and your child wont have to take the class.!! I remember there was always a group of children who never took the sex education class, because of there family beliefs

Answer 7

it is proven tha abstinence only eduaction does not work. teens do not abstain from sex any more than they do when they are taught conprehensicve sex education. kids taught only abstinence and told that contraception is faulty are less likely to use it when they do start having sex. which is often amere year after the program. so what happens? more pregnancies and more std's. kids taught to be responsible and mature in their decisions and shown how to use contraception will make better choices in the long run.

in europe the rates of teen sex are identical to the US but the rates or pregnancy and std's are very very low. why? comprehensive sex education. and in many countries abstinence is not even mentioned.

it is niave to think that 'just say no' is going to work, and throw out any other sex eduaction b/c it apparently encourages teens to have sex.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I TA with you. I have three girls and I am trying to do my best and explain to them why it's not a good idea to have sex before marriage. They are setting themselves up for a broken heart, STDs and fatherless pregnancies.
Just look around today though, sex is blasted everywhere. Everyone and everything says "If it feels good then do it" and then reap the consequences later. Look at all the unwed mothers with three children by three different men. It's the breakdown of the family today.
I will be VERY honest with my girls about this. Of course when they are older they will have to decide for themselves but at least they can't come back and say "Well mom you NEVER told us..."
I will never agree with it, I know firsthand the consequences of loveless sex outside of marriage. I contracted herpes because I had sex with a man who had it and KNEW he had it but never clued me in that he had it!
Not only that but if you go to bed with every man/woman you date why would they think to marry when they get all the perks of being married for free, including shacking up?
Look around us today, you would think most of us would wake up to the deception and stop preaching that "if you are in love it's okay". You can FEEL in love but not actually be IN LOVE with somebody so why would you give it up to everyone you thought you might be "in love" with?
I don't think it will get better either, but I know that I can start with my girls and hope that they won't make the same mistakes I did. I will suggest that they wait, and hope that they see my heart in the matter and heed my warnings to them. I will never ever go along with the belief that "well they are going to do it anyhow so let's just hand out condoms and birth control like it's candy". I don't agree with that one bit, and not like it's helped anyhow, there's still plenty of unwed pregnancies and std's and all that anyhow.
What we need to do is have an abstinance class taught and the reasons why and give these kids some guidlines for picking out their marriage partners and maybe include counsel for the kids who don't have good parental role models in their lives today. That's what I think.

Answer 10

They always preach abstinance as being the best choice, realistically, it's not going to happen. They don't teach kids in 7th and 8th grade that sex is okay with protection but have to tell them of ways to protect themelves from disease and pregnancy because unless you live in a bubble and keep your kids in one to, it is likely that they will have sex before marriage. Especially since people get married older than they did forty years ago and some chose not to get married at all. Of course in a perfect world kids wouldn't have sex, but it is not. Better they know of the precautions and not die of AIDS, get pregnant or diseases.

Answer 11

Because in the real world kids don't listen. The more parents push "No sex before marriage" the more they want to try it. My parents talked to us about sex, but they never cracked down on absolutely no sex, and you know what? I was a virgin until I was 22, as was my oldest sister, and my other sister was a virgin when she met her husband when she was 23. I am not going to bury my head in the sand and think that my son is not going to have sex. Just because they are not allowed to have birth control doesn't mean they are not going to have sex. That is just utter stupidity.