Is it a crime to think good for someone? My 10 yr old sis always does stupid things. I try to talk her out of it, try to make her understand that what she's doing ain't right. But she's least interested.
So what she does is (maybe unintentionally) gets me and my parents to have a tiff coz my parents always support her, no matter how wrong she might be and I always try to correct her. I know maybe she hates me for trying to correct me.
I used to same the stupid things when I was small and now, when I've grown up, I realise how fcukin stupid I was to ignore all that my parents used to say to correct me. I can't go back in time and rectify those mistakes. So my intent is that my sis doesn't repent whatever she does today later on.
But I always end up on the losing side. Today, I feel I've had enough. Let her do what she wants to its her life. Let her screw it up if she wants to. What can I do if she's just not read to listen !
Wow, Isn't it a crime to think good for someone?
2007-11-30 23:44:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You aren't her parent, and she's a 10yr old. Making mistakes and learning from them is how people grow up. Mind your own business.
2007-12-01 00:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A crime? Well, it is at least a mistake. Actually, the thinking is ok, it's what you do with those thoughts that matters.
Every human being has agency, that's the god-given right to free choice. She has the right to choose for herself how she will act. She is responsible, to a degree, for her choices. Parents are also responsible for the actions of their children. You are a sibling. You also have agency. But if you use it to try to take away her agency, you will hurt your sister and your relationship with her, and you will be responsible for that hurt. You must not try to control her. Control yourself and nurture her. People tend to change only when they feel safe and loved enough to take risks. If you want her to make good choices, give her a good example to follow. And if she feels your love, she will follow you. What incentive does she have to listen to you when you publicly vent your anger toward her? You have put her on the defensive: she can't hear you, she's too busy listening for approval and love.
Also, she can't get your parents to have a tiff with you, unless you and your parents want to fight about something. If you listen to them so well, perhaps they should be the ones to tell you not to use the "f" word on public internet sites. It could get you into trouble later on if someone turns you in. It's important to learn the rules in any endeavor, and follow them, whether it is in family relationships or internet use. But although others can try to persuade you of the right, just as with your sister, you always have agency. Use it wisely.
2007-12-01 09:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by mrsteacher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone learns life lessons differently. maybe she has to make some mistakes in order to figure out right and wrong. I think if you interfere you become a distraction to what she is truly supposed to figure out. I would try to be supportive and not have an "I told u so attitude when she screws up" As long as she's not in any really bad danger give her a chance to figure things out. Show her by example that you can do the right thing and get what you want.
2007-12-01 07:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by Yuki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that you want to spare your sister the same problems you had. The problem is, she is 10 and not going to listen to you as though you were her parent. Focus on your own stuff and let your mom and dad deal with her. Also, don't let her provoke you. Ignore a lot of what she does. When you give someone a lot of attention, they keep doing the same thing to get more attention.
2007-12-01 08:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by Marina 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question, because there is obviously a lot more going on here than is contained in your question. Stop trying to be a parent to your sister, let her groe up the way you did by making her own mistakes. Love her for who she is inspite of the mistakes, and don'tnag her about them. Spend your energies getting your own life together and quietly setting an example for her to follow.
2007-12-01 11:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's like when i tell my 6 yro when he trys this same move with the 3 yro the 3yro has parents who are there to help him and make sure he don't get hurt so all the 6 yro has to do is be an older brother and if he sees the 3yro doing something that can hurt himself or his brother than my 6yro needs to come get me or daddy, big diffrence between our family and yours is we dont always take sides. so my advice to you is be the older sibling and if you see something that can really hurt her or someone else than step in until then just stay out of it, as it seems to just cause trouble with your parents. when she is ready for your help she will ask for it be there for her then.
2007-12-01 07:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly02012001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your parents do the parenting. Just be a good son.
2007-12-01 08:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by Ron S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try and correct her....that is your parents job not yours and that is what the problem is. You are acting like her father not her brother.
2007-12-01 07:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's like I tell my siblings....you need to worry about your own lives and from the messes you have gotten yourselves into, you sure have alot to worry about and mom even said so.
2007-12-01 07:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember, dear:
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
No use wasting your breath if your intended helpee is not ready to listen.
Sis will come to you when she is ready to listen to your wisdom.
2007-12-01 07:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋