Too depressed to commit suicide?

Question

The depression has become so crippling I think I'm despondent. It took me five minutes to type that sentence. I really tried to get help; I went to a psychiatrist and told her everything. Know what that got me? Court commitment to a mental institution for a week on suicide watch and a $3,000 hospital bill with no health insurance. Part of my depression being money problems, I find the entire situation ironic. I got NOTHING out of it. And, I'm angry, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I don't think I'll ever go to anyone for help again, though. Not in the 'real' world. That's why I'm writing here.

I'm worried about myself. If at all possible, I'd love to just shake this haze off and get on with my life, but it seems the more 'treatment' I get the worse I feel. The suicidal thoughts have become more frequent again, but I currently don't have the energy to do anything about it. I've already 'gotten' help! How am I supposed to change, when I don't help myself?

Answer 1

You sound like you're in a place where I was several years ago. As a last-ditch effort, I sought counseling. My counselor later told me she'd been tempted to commit me at first sight (which, thank GOD she didn't, or I'm sure I'd be dead by now).

Some counselors are good, some are OK. and some suck. I am not convinced that any counselor will ultimately help. And there is a very real danger here. Right now you are too depressed to go through with suicide. If any kind of help (therapy, medicine, whatever) works, there will be a period in which you are not better, but better enough to find the gumption to kill yourselfr. That is the red zone. That is the part you need to live through.

I am not going to tell you that things will ever be great, or even good, again. They may not. But, as long as you are alive, things ARE--they're still happening. If you can, please try to just play it out--the benefits that come may not be what you hope for or envision, but they will be there, I promise. I promise.

Even if you feel you can't go another day, please give this a try for at least three consecutive, serious days: Stop drinking. Stop taking drugs of any kind (even Advil). Walk at least 30 minutes a day, rain or shine. Don't worry about whatever else you're supposed to be accomplishing: just do this much. Walk 30 minutes, don't self-medicate, then go to bed if you want. Just try it for three consecutive days.

I had to seriously adjust my view of My Life Going Forward to make this work for me. It involves constant care of my mother and 17 animals, plus a hellhole of a trailer, idiot meth-head neighbors, 120-degree summers, and zero health insurance. I used to live in a great penthouse in Chicago. But whatever. I am alive--which isn't really the point. The point is this: Things keep happening. And, for some of those things, I will be eternally grateful. Which, to me, is reason enough to keep on--even though I never would have guessed they would happen.

Answer 2

You can get help---even with your financial issues. But you have to WANT to get better.

Do you believe that if you had more money coming in that you would feel better? Then contact your county's department of social services. They DO have all kinds of help for people in your situation. If you are unable to work because of this (depression can cause severe disability), you can get SSI (Supplemental Security Income). It is a Federal income supplement program. From there you can also apply for Medicaid for health care costs (AND, they can help you with your hospital bil!).
The county also has a mental health department. They have several counselors/therapists. Get one that you feel comfortable with---and I don't mean a "pill pusher." Mental health medications are ONLY supposed to help you while you are going through your therapy/counseling. Unfortunately, WAY too many doctors are giving those pills out like candy. They can't give you a pill (or 2 or 3....) and say, "Bye!" and tell you to move on with your life. I'm sorry that you have been through this the hard way.
I really hope you will reconsider professional help. There are so many mental health professionals out there that really DO want to help you.
I know it's the weekend now so until county offices open on Monday, contact the DBSA....they WILL help:
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

Please don't give up.

Answer 3

I had a similar problem with my first psychiatrist. Work stress and money problems were my primary concerns so the bastard put me in the hospital for 3 days putting me farther in debt and he could have jeopardized my job except I was able to use vacation time. And he prescribed me such a high dose of antidepressants I ended up in the ER.
You need to find another doctor. My primary care physician was taking care of me along with a counselor. I only went to a psychiatrist because they are supposed to know more about antidepressants and care for depression. The second psychiatrist I saw was a good one.
Did you check for any kind of public mental health care? Possibly through your local health department?

Answer 4

Congratulate yourself. Your still alive. And now that you've hit bottom you have no where else to go but up. Please stay in the real world, It's the only one you've got so you'll have to work with it. About the money, It's the courts that put you in an institution and I'd just tell them to pay it. You might have a different medical problem however. The fact that you said you'd love to shake off the haze you in is a very good sign that somewhere in you there's the strength to survive. Good. That's your key.

Answer 5

It's good to hear that you won't act on suicide. It truly is not the answer. This is the real world. I've been there. You literally have to take one minute at a time, till you can group them together to make a day at a time. As time passes so do your problems and the best solution comes to you at the time the problem needs to be addressed. Bills will always be there don't let them get you down.
Email me if you need to talk Ive been there. And you want to live. you don't want to die, you would not be here asking...

Answer 6

If you got nothing out of seeing that psychiatrist, then go see a different one. Depression as severe as yours needs to be treated by a professional. The psychiatrist will prescribe the correct antidepressant & dosage to correct the chemical imbalance that is causing you to have your depressive thoughts.

Answer 7

Natures is very relaxing and it sounds to me your more stressed then depressed.

If that makes sense...... Stress is a feeling of being trapped and not being able to find a way out. Suicide is your thought but hey its stupid and its not worth it.

Maybe just drive and drive and don't stop for a while. Be a tourist, go skydiving.

Hell see how fast you can go in a car.

Adreniline can reduce stress too if you do it right :D

Answer 8

let me tell you the truth, i just got threw with a hardcore break-up. she was the love of my life. i tryed so hard, and for no reason when everything was awesome, blam it was over. i wasted months being depressed over it and thinking about suicide.i tryed so crazy ****. but i came to think, Death, is it worth it. Be honest now you think it is the easy way out. well your wrong. it says god will forgive you for every sin as long as you ask for forgiveness. but how can you ask when your dead. are you gonna ask in advance, not gonna work. thats killing, blam your spending eternity in hell. think of this, whatever is going on in your life, there are others out there i worse positions right now. war, homeless, hungry, sick, ect.
this helped me, quit thinking of the bad ****.NOW. learn to love life for a few minutes, its not gonna kill you. get some fresh air, take a deep breath, and relax. think of some fun, exotic ****.skydiving, rock climbing, ect.
think of evolution, creation. your not just some person in the world of billions, your that someone who was a stepping stone in life. Life without someone like you, pretty hard trust me. you think it would be better, your wrong its worse. as every other person just like you comes along is actually better. your thinking of suicide for the better. See, your a genuine person. i dont even know you and im beginning to like you. i know deep down your a great person and very nice. your concerned for others before yourself. people appriciate that, they may not show it but they do. all that other stuff you doing is a distraction and nothing more. just learn to love life and dont just try and think outside the box like everyone else, tear it up! go big.
not some desk job, go for fame,
not just a relationship, but a whole new world, not just bowling or shopping or whatever you do to have fun, go big, do something that is new and make a name for yourself. enjoy the time you have now, and youll realize whatever made you think that was nothing but something that once was.
i hope this helped
email me if you need more help
[e-mail]

Answer 9

Most hospitals are willing to make financial arrangements with you if you just call them. They will discount the bill down to average insurance reimbursement rates and/or make payment plans. You just have to make the first move.

Answer 10

I don't know what all you've tried. but ive found for myself if i skip all the "therapy" and drudgign up of problmes and stick to a daily dose of 30mg of CELEXA. it works great.