Advise please? I don't know how to deal with this?

Question

Ok, so I am an aunt and I am writing this because of a disturbing conversation I had today regarding my neice with my sister.
My neice, 5, has a speech impediment. She is introverted, and very much the sporty/rough n tumble type (not at all the girly-girl, or dress up type). Despite her roughness around the edges she is very sweet, shy, and wouldnt hurt a fly.
She has just started kindergarten this year. I regret to find out she has been being bullied at school. This one boy hits her in the face (twice), steals her toys and throws them, and speaks to her appaulingly (this boy, also 5, tells her she must have slept with the school! Can you imagine! they are both 5 years old!!!).
One day, my sister caught her trying to put on makeup (very out of character) as to not appear "ugly".

My sister has already spoken to the teacher who has advised my neice to stay away from the boy. The teacher is young and inexperienced. My neice sometimes comes home crying and is upset. Cont'd...

The town only has 1 elementary school so switching is not a viable solution.

Although I am an aunt it hurts me to see such a precious girl go through this for no reason. Without being an overprotective parent, what would you do?

Thanks to all who have answered so far. I should probably add that there is only 1 class of kids her age group so switching is not possible.

She is enrolled in gymnastics, which she loves. However, even that "flopped" because the teacher combined her age group's class with the parent-tot class. She is under challenged and bored throughout, as the instructor spends the majority of his time catering to the parent-tot age group.

Being a small town, there are limited activities that she can sign up for at any given time.

Answer 1

I heartily agree with all the answers above me who advise that your sister needs to go over the teacher's head and speak with the principal or even with the parents of the boy. If she does this she needs to approach them carefully though, in a non-threatening manner or they will quickly become protective of their child.

However, I would also like to add that this would be a very good opportunity to start teaching your niece about alternate methods of dealing with bullies and aggressive people, because they will always be there. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control how we react to them. If she's being bullied, she's probably giving him a reaction that satisfies him and makes him want to continue the behaviour. His actions will not matter if she doesn't let it matter to her. He will then quickly lose interest. She also needs to learn how to be more assertive. Enroll her in some activities that will help to build her self-esteem and let her know that she is unconditionally loved and that that boy is to be pitied for his actions.

Answer 2

Taking toys is one thing, but it has become psychical, if the teacher won't do any thing, go to the principal.
tell him/her what is going on, her being hit in the face, see if the principal can have a conference with the boys parents.

If that doesn't work, maybe see if she or he could be switched to a different class.
Good luck, kids are very mean, but they are only doing what they are taught. My younger sister had to switch schools when she was in high school because of a group of girls always wanting to fight her, they would kick her in the foot right after she had surgery on it. the school would do nothing, it went on for a year and a half before she decided to change schools.
You would think with everything that happens in schools now they would take action as soon as they could to teach these YOUNG children that this kind of behavior WILL NOT be accepted!
Good Luck to your niece, no one deserves to be picked on!

Answer 3

almost every kids around here are like that! they are 4 and are so rude i would bring them back home with my foot up their ***! really, they are that bad! Kids see, kids do, must be the parents fault...well could be!
Sometimes even if you tell the parents, some don't even care and will let you know! they could suspend the kid, i know some 4yo that has been suspended from school...
It is so sad that your niece has to go through that, i was scared of that for my daughter since she speaks english and we sent her in a french school...but they are really nice to her!
You would want to just choke them up for doing such bad things like that...(not that i would, it's only an expression...lol)
They can't make her go to school like this, they have to do something and fast! We have like 3-4 schools here, but anyway it is not her fault so it is not to her to change school, that kid has a problem and they better put an end to it!
I know it is bad to say that but if it was my daughter, i wouldn't be mad at her for hitting him in the face. If someone could slap him hard, he wouldn't do that to others! again i know it is bad but wouldn't you do the same? if someone hits you in the face...you will do like jesus and turn the other cheek??? i don't think so! Let her slap him in the face for good...he will be so scared that he will stop! and tell her after that it is bad to do if you are not happy with something...but come on sometimes there is no other options which is why so many kids/teenagers take their lives! so sad!

Answer 4

I wouldn't stop at the teacher, I would get the School Administrators involved, and the sChool board. Perhaps maybe switch he from another Kindergarten Class within the school. Have teachers watch to make sure they are not socializing w/one another. That is so sad, and I glad to see that you are taking the time to try and find some answers

Answer 5

I just cringe thinking about this. No child should have to be hit at school, especially a five year old. If the teacher is unable to control this behavior it's time to go above her. The school board, Principal, Superintendent........don't stop until your very young niece is treated fairly and feels safe attending school. This kind of behavior can be very damaging as far as self esteem and confidence go not to mention emotionally traumatic. I wish you well in your endeavors.

Answer 6

I'd set up a conference with both the teacher and the principal and insist that they take action to resolve the problem. This shouldn't be tolerated. If they're not willing or able to fix things, I'd contact the school board. If all else fails, I'd remove my kid from the class.

Answer 7

This boy is DISTURBED! There is obviously something going on in his household.
I know there is only one school but are there anymore classrooms for kids her age? I would get her away from this boy. Maybe she can transfer to a school the next town over.
Is there any way to get this boy expelled?
Here is a link that may be helpful:
http://www.thechildtoday.com/SocialInclusion/
It contains some information on bullying and teasing.

Answer 8

merely undergo in strategies that the 18 year previous woman is an immature little whore, and the sole reason she is doing that's via the fact her father left her while she became a baby. Her existence is pathetic and he or she is insecure approximately herself and he or she loves drama because of the fact of this she sends you text fabric messages. She is that top college woman that all and sundry ***** because of the fact she doesnt have a ethical compass. And after your husband quits procuring her issues she would be able to in all likelihood flow away him for a guy her own age. My suggestion is eharmony. decide for somebody a splash older like 29,30 who is conscious you and your difficulty.

Answer 9

I would ask the principal of the school to set up a meeting with the boys parents teacher your sister and the principal. and discuss this matter if it still continues i would contact the school board.

Answer 10

That just breaks my heart. I would think a good thing to do, is to put her in some classes, of something she likes, that will build her self confidence, like dance, or gymnastics. I would also speak to the parents of the boy.