i'm seventeen and i'll be going to college next year. my problem is that my family is always fighting, and my younger brother is really affected by it.
by fighting, it's not just shouting. it escalates sometimes in physical violence which affects my brother even more.
on one hand, i want to go to college as far away as possible but i'll be worrying about my brother the whole time. i know how depressed teens can self-mutilate and develop complexes, and i don't want that to happen to him.
i can't exactly suggest that my whole family goes to therapy, because they'd probably kick me out of the house for daring to suggest something like that.
the fighting is mainly between my parents and my mother and my older sister.
i don't want to stay here. i'm sick of the atmosphere and there's no good colleges around anyway.
what do i do?
2007-11-30 17:36:48 · 12 answers · asked by fire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go to college and do what you need to do to have a better life, and don't forget to let your little brother know how much you love him. Let him know that you are just a phone call away, but let him know that sometimes you wont be able to answer the phone because of classes and stuff but if he leaves a message you will get back to him as soon as you can. Teenagers and their parents having shouting matches is quite normal but physical violence is not. Tell your parents straight out that if they hit your little brother (or even if they hit you for that matter) that you will call the police, and then if they do hit either of you then you do just that, call the police. Hitting children is not OK, it is not normal and it is not right and you don't have to put up with it.
PS. you hitting them is not OK either!
2007-11-30 17:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by oldersox 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a great sister for caring so much. You should definately go to whatever school you want to and not feel bad. Your parents are creating a home life that is not healthy and that needs to be addressed. They might not like hearing it from you though.
Something that you can do is assure your brother that even though you are away you will be accessable and there for him. He will need you and your support and it already sounds like he has it. Try to make this last year there easier for him by strengthening your bond with him and showing him he can count on you. Also help him with coping. He will be dealing with more with you gone.
Family counseling would be ideal if your parents will go. Perhaps speak with your school counselor about your fears. They too can help you and your brother.
Good luck!
2007-11-30 18:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Breava 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
These things happen to some families, your not going to like my answer but its the truth, The best way to deal with this, Is to just deal with it, Just accept it your parents are your parents and their ain't a damn thing you can do to change a thing. If things get any better or worse then it is on them alone. I went through this before My Mom and Dad was divorced and you just need to move on sometimes parents break up it sucks but thats the way it is now days. But if you really care that much the best thing is not to leave their presence because sometimes it helps things to calm down if the kids are their. but If your concerned about you more then do whatever you want. because like I said only sometimes does that work. for me it did for a little bit then it started again so you do whatever. But I feel like the least important person in my family to Families not just Mothers and fathers break up I find even brothers care less and less about you Until they don't even acknowledge you anymore really.
2007-11-30 17:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your brother. so make darn sure you go to college. is there a family member you can talk to that can help your brother, a teacher, a clergy, if there is no one you can talk to about this then you will have to make the toughest decision of your life and that is to call child protection services, you don't have to give your name but something is going to have to be done soon and i mean very soon before someone gets hurt or killed. and that person could very well end up being your brother. so i am begging you not to wait another day. even if you don't go to church you can find a clergy, a teacher, your school counsler, someone somewhere that would talk to you and help you do what is in the best interest of for your brother. please do this for your brother
2007-11-30 17:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by yak4the8car 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Sounds like a lot on your shoulders. It's really tough. If you left, I would keep in close contact with your brother and make sure he knew to tell you if anything should happen and he needed help. Could you go to another family member and ask for help? This sounds like a really bad environment for him and everyone else, too.
2007-11-30 17:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sucks for your brother. You can't really help him. He needs to help himself. Encourage him to call the cops if things get physical between your parents. Encourage him to speak to his school guidance counselor. The reality is, nothing is going to change with your dysfunctional family unless your brother does something about it. You are leaving - so you are pretty much out of the picture.
2007-11-30 17:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you really seem to have a grave problem. Firstly, you should talk to your bro. Reason with him, listen to his side so that you get a hint about his situation. Also, do not lose hope, initially he may retaliate, but after he realizes you are trying to help, he'll understand. Try to make him independent . Coz, after you go to college, he'll have to face his parents and sis alone.
Lastly, YOU don't panic. If you do, your bro'll be alone and may get depressed.
Good luck!!
2007-12-01 02:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by Enigm@ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may help you understand your parents better:
Why They Resort to Violence
- How to Solve Problems Peacefully http://watchtower.org/e/19981101/article_01.htm
You can talk to school counselors (perhaps your brother's), requesting anonymity, or another authority figure. They might require that he report the trouble himself, but they can still provide counsel how best to help him in the mean time.
2007-11-30 19:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem as a father Amend will help you and your brother and they have the answers your looking for good luck and God bless my son helped me and it will help you I thank my son everyday for doing this kids are my world thanks son now I can help someone else.
2007-11-30 17:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is able to, let your brother know he can come stay with you whenever he wants.
2007-11-30 17:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋