I am sick and tired of my mom and her relationship?

Question

Am I a bad daughter? My mom and her boyfriend has been going out for almost 2 years now. She works full time, and every night she sleeps at her boyfriend's home which is right across from ours. I only see her twice a day...when she drops me off to school and when she comes back home just to change out of her work clothes and then she goes across to her boyfriend's home. Then tonight, my mom comes home twice, once at 6PM and then she went out and came back at 8PM and asked me if I ate yet. (I starve myself...plus she has no time to grocery shop...I know how to cook but I am afraid of making food as I've almost burnt our home twice). I say yea (though I haven't), and she tells me that Ron, her boyfriend took her out to dinner, but he also asked her if I was going too. She thought I ate already...so she didn't bring me.

So I went to the bathroom, and turned on the bathtub with my clothes on...and started just sitting there with my knees together and head bent down...crying silently with

tiny sounds. She heard me and asked why I was crying so many times, and said was it because I was hungry. I told her I didn't eat the whole day 'cept for a glass of water. (I went to the mall with friends this morning to get breakfast...but I'm really hungry in the inside)....

Then she leaves after I yelled at her to leave me alone....She went back to her boyfriend's house. I don't know what to do...it's tearing me apart...it's as if the guy is stealing my mom away from me. I say I hate her but really I miss her alot. She doesn't do anything even when I try to talk to her and tell her that I miss her.

Am I a bad daughter for throwing a tantrum cause of this....And her boyfriend treats me ill...

Answer 1

You are crying because you don't have a mom. Your mom has abandoned you pretty much. What you need to do is talk to your guidance counselor at school. Tell the guidance counselor what is going on. Your mom is responsible for cooking and making sure you are fed. Your mom is not legally allowed to leave you alone all night long by yourself. Your mom needs a wake up call and your guidance counselor can help you give your mom a wake up call.

Tell your guidance counselor you need to speak to a therapist as well. A therapist will help too.

Answer 2

You are not a bad daughter, shes a bad mom.
But my mom isEXACTLY the same. i only see her about twice a week though. She works the night shift. So Like she comes home about 6am in the morning she goes straight to sleep, when i come home from school shes still sleeping, she gets up and probably 5 or 6pm. Leaves the house. pretty much this everyday. There is hardly any food in my fridge too. We are not poor, she just never has time to buy food. She makes me depressed.
On her days off, She goes to her boyfriends house and doesnt even think to spend time with me. Everytime i throw a "tantrum" when she comes home or whatever she blames it all on me and stuff...
It isnt yours or my fault our moms are like this.
You just need to be strong, and go to school do what you have to do. someday you'll be able to go to college and have a family of your own and treat your kids way better than your mom treats you. theres not much you can do. but i know how you feel:/

Answer 3

Oh, honey, you are NOT a bad daughter. YOU are your mom's #1 priority, not her dumbass boyfriend. Your mom is lucky that you stick around the house and don't go off getting into major trouble. I mean, she's never there to make sure you're doing the right things. If my parents wouldn't have been around when I was a minor, I would have...(shudders).
Try talking to your mom and letting her know exactly how you feel. I have a suspicion that it won't help, anyway, but try. That way when you're in eating disorders treatment you can move on to the next step of picking up the pieces of your life.
It's just so sweet how you want your mom to be there. It was the opposite for me when I was a kid. I hated my mom and how she tried to control every single thing I did. But I starved myself all the same. Mom issues. They really suck, don't they?

Answer 4

What about your poor mom? Why do you have to babysit? Is it because she wants to lay on the couch and eat junk food and watch TV? Or is it because she has to work and she needs someone to help her out so she can keep your family going, fed and clothed? If you think you're the slave, chances are your mom feels that way times a hundred. She's got kids that she's got to look out for and when one of them makes her life difficult because they need to go hang out with their cousin it just makes her life all that much harder. You should look out for your mom. There's some people that would love to have a mom or siblings they had to babysit instead of being an orphan or abandoned by their parents to whatever fate they'll have.

Answer 5

You are not a bad daughter for feeling this way, but you already knew that. I simply cannot understand how a woman can desert her children for a stud.
I know somebody like that. She leaves her 3 children [ages 6, 9, and 11] at my house for days at a time. During the summer she saw her children once or twice a week to give me a break! I could refuse to take them, but I love them and I know that if I didn't take them, she'd leave them with somebody who doesn't care about them as much. Two of them have gotten so they prefer being with me anyway; one of them keeps asking to go with her mom but her mom says no. And if the kids need anything from her house, we have a heck of a time getting it from her.
Their mom sold the beds I bought for the girls. So, I got some of beds at the thrift store for them, to sleep in at my house. At least at my house, they each can have a bed.
Sorry for venting like this, but I wanted you to know that you're not the only one, and I think it's terrible.
You will need to learn to meet your own needs. I know you are sad, but feeling sorry for yourself won't get you too far. Maybe you could start with talking to the school counselor. Is there anybody else that you could live with that could take better care of you? [Don't worry about getting your mom in trouble, as long as you are telling the truth. Does she worry about the trouble you are having? I think not.]
Above all, don't let this mess up your future. Do well in school, don't make foolish choices (the kind your mom is making). Have good friends that will help you be a better and happier person, not the kind of friends that get into trouble.

Answer 6

You're not a bad daughter but you need to be honest with your mom and tell her how you feel. Also remember that your mom is not only your mom, but a woman. It is probably difficult for her to balance raising a child and being an adult. I used to have the same problem with my dad. He was always out on dates. I stayed angry at him a lot. It wasn't until I was older and had children of my own that I realized how hard it is to balance your children and your own life.

Answer 7

you are definitely not a bad daughter. your mother is leaving you out of things, and thats not right. she needs to focus more on her daughter, and less on the bf, because one day the bf might not be there, but you always will. next time, be honest with her if you haven't eaten, and if you feel neglected by her, as to spend some quality time with her, so you two could catch up on things. and maybe as her to go shopping for food more often.

Answer 8

Instead of throwing a tantrum, why not try talking to your Mom. If you feel as if she's not really listening then talk to her and her boyfriend and let them know that your feeling neglected. Tell them that you would like some Mom time too.

Answer 9

No, you are not a bad daughter, your mother is being very selfish, and thinking only of herself and her own personal needs. She is neglecting you. I'm a single mother with 4 kids (only one of which is now living with me), and I have starved so that my kids could eat, and I have walked around with holes in my shoes so that my kids could have things that they wanted.
You should talk to a school counselor, a relative, or an adult you trust, because you should not go on living like that, you need to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.

Answer 10

your mom is being very very careless and selfish...i think the best way to deal with this situation is that you should calmly ask your mom to talk to you and release all the things from your chest which have been hurting you...if she have a lil motherhood left inside her..she would definately think bout it..