My son is 3 year old, and the father and I were never married. He has my maiden name, his father isn't on the birth certificate, and never set up and visitiation/custody arrangements through the court. He does pay child support, and does see my son regularly.
I notified my sons father that we were moving to South Korea about 2 days after the flight was booked (told him Nov. 18th, flight is for Dec. 6th) He's now taking me to court, and the pre-trial is December 4th. He's trying to get full custody and a restraining order (I assume so that I can't take my son).
What are the odds that my lawyer and I will win this case? Do you think I'll be able to go on my scheduled date? Please, serious answers only, and don't "guess".
We reside in the state of Ohio, and my husband and I have a daughter together (don't know if any of that makes a difference)
2007-11-30 16:44:23 · 10 answers · asked by Ashley D 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I'm not doing this to be mean, I'm doing this to keep my family together. I understand that I'd be upset if it were to happen to me, but parents move ALL the time with their children. We didn't CHOOSE to go Korea, and I'm offering to pay the airfare for him to visit every 6 months for 30 days. My sons father and I never lived together, and my husband has been in my sons life since we he was about 6 months old. I want my son and his dad to have a relationship, which is why i'm willing to spend thousands of dollars every 6 months. i'm sure there's a HUGE percentage of military personnel who have a step-child and get stationed overseas. Should those people not serve their country for it? There is no "fair" solution in any of this. I'm just trying to keep my family together, and, at MAX, we'll be there for 2 years.
2007-11-30 17:14:53 · update #1
Also, is every military wife (who has a child from a previous relationship) supposed to stay behind for the duration of their military term? This has to be a fairly common thing....
I'm not just thinking of myself. My son and husband have lived together since he was crawling. He's supported us, and we are all very close. I don't want my husband to replace my sons father or anything, but I'm just stating that it's not just some random guy I'm moving to be with. I also have a daughter with my husband, and if I can't go, then suffer as well. does that mean that my husband and I should have never had children because of our situation?
I realize that I asked the question, but i didn't ask it for people to tell me that I am a horrible person, because I'm not.
2007-11-30 17:21:54 · update #2
No. If he doesn't want you to leave the country with his son, you won't be able to. This is in place to protect kids from ending up in countries with their other biological parent without the other's permission. Think about it. If you had a child with a guy that was from ... say India.... and he took him to India, you would never see him again. These laws are to protect children from that.
I am assuming, of course, that there has been paternity tests proving fatherhood, since he does pay child support.
In our homestate, kids can't leave the state if the other parent doesn't give permission. (Not so if no one complains). If the other parent complains, it goes to a third party and then is decided mutually. If a reasonable conclusion can't be made between the parties, then a judge gets involved. The answer is usually no, unless there are other unusual circumstances.
2007-11-30 16:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by Put on your boxing gloves boys! 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You said don't guess, but unless you're only asking attorneys in Ohio this question, some guessing will be involved. From what I know, you need to give 90 days notice before you move a child out of state. I believe the father has a justified case and I doubt the judge would let you move.
I understand you have a new life with your husband, but you also have to think of your son. I don't think it's ever beneficial to take a child away from either parent. I think the parents should have equal opportunity to see the child. This is in the child's best interest as long as both parents are good parents.
2007-11-30 16:52:37 · answer #2 · answered by A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends entirely on OH's laws and the judge. since the father's name isn't on the BC, you can establish a stable environment for the child as well as being willing to help shoulder the cost of sending the kid back and forth, unless you have areal jerkwad of a judge, you probably won't have too much of an issue.
the father does have in his favor the fact that non court ordered child support and visitation is happening, so it's obvious he is a part of the child's life.
Just be prepared to have the judge decide that you cannot leave with the child. ESPECIALLY if your Korea orders are NCS.
2007-11-30 23:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being 'horrible' or 'selfish' at all. There's never been anything formally set in place, he is not on the birth certificate, legally---he's not the father. --And that's just on a legal standpoint.
Come to the court with a reasonable offer set up, which it sounds like you do with the flights and such, also come with a phone visitation schedule as well.
Being's that he's not legal father, doesn't have custody, etc.....highly doubtful that judge will refuse you to go. He's not going to remove the child from your custody as you've been the sole parent and provider for the child.
And unless he walks in there with the results from a paternity test.....judge will order one before anything else happens.
2007-11-30 18:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need an experienced family law attorney, now. Since the father is paying support and does have a relationship with the child my guess is that a judge will NOT allow you to take the child out of state without the father's permission.
2007-11-30 18:20:52 · answer #5 · answered by Yak Rider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot would you want 2 have your son taken away?
Sometimes the Easiest answer is to ask the child. I know you have an obligation to your family but you also have an obligation 2 this child and his father they have a bond also.
Now maybe there can be an answer between the two unselfish parents with the child's best interest in mind..without lawyers and court orders...Children need Both parents and all other step parents need to know their place in big decisions all they need 2 do is ask themselves if they were in the non-custodial parents place would they like to have a say in what will be a life changing decision.
2007-11-30 16:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Robert T 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
child previous relationship married soldier pcsing overseas child
2016-02-03 06:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your son is 3 years old and his bilogoical father never setup visitation and custody rights. That is not going to look good in front of a judge. Now all of a sudden he wants to exert paternal rights ? The judge will see it for what it is.
I would retain a lawyer and go armmed to the teeth to make a monkey out of this @#$%# in court.
After the dust settles from this, you may want to discuss with your husband adoption of your son to prevent this kind of nonsence from your X boyfriend ever happening again.
2007-11-30 17:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by oneiloilojeepney 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My advice would be to go to the legal help they have in one of the military bases. I am POSITIVE that they have dealt with this situation numerous times before. They would know what to do. Good luck.
2007-11-30 19:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jane_S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have rights if he orders ablood test and gets put on the Birth cert. You could be ordered to stick around til the outcome.
2007-11-30 16:47:59 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋