I hurt my two-year-old son tonight...?

Question

...and yes, it was accident, but I don't feel any better for it. We have started potty training and I was taking off his pants (to remove his diaper) and he tripped and hit the porcelean part of the toilet causing an instant HUGE black bruise above hsi eye. I freaked. My mom drove us out to ER and they said he was fine (acted normal, only cried for about a minute), but I still fill horrible. Last spring he had two fever seizures and was moved to a children's hospital. I feel like I failed him TWICE this year. Why do I feel this way?

lol. i'm his DADDY actually.

The seizures were inherited from me, I had them when I was little.
The accident was also caused by me. I was trying to take his clothes off.

Answer 1

you feel this way because he is your baby and you hate to see him hurt or in pain, its not uncommon and just means that you love your baby, although i'm sure something that happened in the matter of a second, and you probably didn't even have time to reacct (from what I've seen thats pretty much how all accidents happen) you still feel like if you wouldv'e just done something maybe it wouldv'e saved him from being hurt and that because you were the one with him, you shouldv'e kept it from happening... again thats very normal for a loving parent to feel that way... I feel that way when my son hurts himself or gets hurt, it's just our instinct to feel that way when our babies are hurt and to feel like it's our fault that they are in pain, especailly when bruises accure, and your reminded of it all the time just from looking at it

Answer 2

You always feel bad when something hurts one of your children.My children are grown now but I remember when my daughter got her nightgown hung up somehow on the corner of the bed and fell and ended up with a black eye.I think she was a little older then your son,maybe 3.Things happen.You can be as careful and watching and they will still climb,trip etc.When my kids had a fever when they were small I would give them there Tylenol and then I would make sure I set my alarm like before it had time to wear off.You can also alternate ibuprofen with the Tylenol.Sometimes one does better then the other.Ask the doctor the dosage it you aren't sure .If it was getting to high I would put then in a warm bath and add cold water a little at a time.Fevers usually get higher in the night.I now have 6 year old gran daughter who when she was about your sons age was jumping on my bed and before I had a chance to get to her she fell and hit her head on the edge of the night table.Luckily it was just a little cut but it was on the front of her head and cuts on the forehead bleed a lot,it scared us really bad but it turned out okay after we got it to stop bleeding and we could see it.Don't be so hard on yourself and do the best you can.I hope this helps.

Answer 3

You are a consciencous parent that loves their child and wants to protect them. Therefore, when you feel guilty for inadvertantly having some part in their pain, then you don't like yourself very much....the same way you would feel toward someone else that might have inadvertantly caused your child to suffer. Learn to just be a little more careful in your dealings with your child. I'm sure you don't need to hear that as this experience and your feelings about it have already made you more aware. Look at it this way, you have learned early how fragile your child is now and that alone is a valuable lesson as now you know to care for your child more delicately. I'm sure you love your child very much and all new parents are just that "new". You have to kind of learn as you go and take advise where you can get it....like on questions and answers. Good luck in your parenting skills, you'll need it for a long time.

Answer 4

You probably feel this way because he is your son. You want to protect him from everyone and everything in the world. And since he is still young, you still haven't gotten over the fact that accidents happen and that you can't alsway keep him safe. You can't remove these feelings from yourself because it's all a part of being a parent. Just take a breather. Calm down and think of it this way, your son will probably be a strong person later on because you let him take risks and learn the consiquences from those risks (even though they were accidental risks)

Hope this helps!

Answer 5

You feel this way because you are a normal, loving mom. But, remember sweetie, accidents happen. Especially with little kids. And the fevers he had earlier weren't your fault. They were fevers, kids get fevers. He got better. You didn't fail him at all. You were there for him the whole time. Please stop blaming yourself. Kids have a very short memory.

We all have bouts of feeling like a bad mom from time to time. Kids don't come with instructions. All we can do is the best we can. And sometimes we make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes and go on, and don't beat yourself up over them.

Answer 6

Of course you freaked!!!! You are his parent, you were doing a normal dad thing and he got hurt. No normal parent wants to see his child hurt, for any reason.
There are 2 issues here. One is that he inherited your fever seizures, which you have survived and he will also. You feel responsible for this inherited problem and you need to get a grip on the fact that medical intervention will keep him healthy.
The second is that, unintentionally, you caused harm to your child. He has a bruise and will survive, but being his parent means that you want to bring him joy, teach him, love him and only have him know positive things from you. The reality is that you are human and accidents happen. I zipped one of my babies into their jammies and caught her skin in the zipper, leaving a small scar on her chest.. I tripped going down the stairs behind my son and knocked him down into the door, causing a huge bump on his head... I forgot to turn my curling iron off and my daughter knocked it on to her foot and burned herself badly, leaving a scar on her foot......
yes, with each occurence I felt horrible and guilty but with hindsight I realize it was not on purpose and they were accidents, and they have all survived my bungling. Your son will too!

Answer 7

Because you're a mom now, and guilt like this NEVER goes away. I still remember things from when my oldest was little - I'd be walking with her in my arms and cut the doorway too close and hit her head. I STILL feel bad about stuff like that, but if you dwell too much on that stuff you'll go crazy. You just have to tell yourself over and over, until it starts to sink in a little more each day, that you're doing the best you can, and accidents are accidents! Stuff like that will happen for the rest of his life. When he gets older, if he sees you getting all worked up about everytime he falls or if you accidentally hurt him, he'll get a complex. It's best for him to see you simply apologize, ask if he's okay, then move on. But I totally know what you mean - you want to protect them, so you can't deal with it when you're the one who hurts them, even if it is an accident. You'll feel bad about it for a while but (hopefully) you'll start to forget it. Don't beat yourself up over little things! :)
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Edit - sorry we all just assumed you were the mom! At least I didn't blame hormones.... LOL - you'll be fine. You sound like a great dad.

Answer 8

Not having control of the unknown! We are Moms we can control it all! And for the most part we can except health issues and bumps and bruises it is an instant that a child can get hurt. Give yourself a break and a hug if you did not feel this way then we would have a problem! Good Luck !

Answer 9

Aw don't feel bad about it! It was just an accident and accidents happen! My mother has been keeping a 2 year old little girl for about 2 years and I have accidentally knocked her down before. Of course I felt bad but they won't remember it or hold it against you. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's ok!! Have a GREAT weekend!

Answer 10

Because you are a good mother. It is normal and you are doing just fine.

My son is 3 now and about 5 months ago we were playing with his Binki's (pacifier) and he was putting it near my mouth and I was biting it hard and ripping it from his hand and he was laughing. All of a sudden he started screaming and I realized that I was biting the tip of his finger. I left a blood blister. He cried for 30 seconds and I cried for an hour. Things happen and it was a accident.

You are a good mom and doing the right thing.

Answer 11

Accident's happen ,please tell yourself that ,or you going to drive yourself crazy .
just your concern ,Tell's me you a terrific father .
i have 3 teenager's ,and still today when i discipline theme ,i feel horrible ,but i don't let theme know .
your child is fine ,you been told by the doctor's ,start a new day tomorrow ,because children can use this incident forever ,you still the parent ,and don't forget tomorrow to still potty trained him ,just be careful when you pull the diaper ,make sure you have a good hold of him .
try to put Cheerios cereal ,and make him target for it ,it's fun for kid's and flush able.