Can you make this cover letter better?

Question

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to apply for employment with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association. A copy of my résumé is enclosed.
I am a student with a physical disability. I will be available to work full time.
Employment with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association would be very valuable experience for me. I would be proud to work for a company that actively supports community development. I believe my education, skills, as well as work and volunteer experience would be an asset in my work with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association.
Thank you for accepting my résumé and considering me for summer employment with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association.

Sincerely,
Joe Smith

Answer 1

In the interest of pursuing full time summer employment with the Saskatchewan Economic Development Association, I am enclosing my resume for your review.
Employment with your company would be invaluable to me and I would be proud to work for a company that actively supports community development. My education,skills,experience and work ethic would be assets to the Saskatchewan Economic Develpoment Association.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

You don't need to start every sentence with 'I' and I agree with everyone else too.

OH-and Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 2

Do not admit to any disability - leave that for the interview.
Do not state that you are available full time - it will be assumed you are available for whatever hours the job is for.

A copy of my résumé is enclosed - this line always goes at the end, not the beginning.

The below paragraph is not well written at all.

Employment with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association would be very valuable experience for me. I would be proud to work for a company that actively supports community development. I believe my education, skills, as well as work and volunteer experience would be an asset in my work with Saskatchewan Economic Development Association.

All the paragraph says is I, I, I.
Employers do NOT like reading resumes where you tell them what they can do for you. They want to know what you can do for them.

This letter does NOT state what You can do for the company.
Do not expect the employer to read your resume to find out what you can do. You MUST tell them what you can do. Tell them what you did in the past and how it will help you in this new position.

This letter as it is currently written will be trashed.

I cant rewrite the letter because I dont know what previous experience you have.

Answer 3

Personally I would take out the part about your physical challenge. Let the association review your information and then in the interview mention your disability but that it in no way impacts your ability to do this job.

I would maybe replace the formal title of the association with "your organization" or "the association" because it seems as if you have a template and just type in the company name where it asks.

Is there a specific position that is open? If so I would list that in the first sentence, and if you saw a posting for the job where you saw it. Also, call and get the name of the executive director or HR manager so you can address the letter directly to them.

Here's an example of what I might say:

"Please accept the enclosed resume for consideration of the [title] position with the SEDA advertised [on your web site, on monster, etc.]. I believe my skills and background would be a good fit for this position.

I beleive the work your organization does in support of community developoment is admirable and I would be proud to work for the Association.

I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you in more detail about my background. I am availabe to meet with you (any morning, on Wednesdays, etc). to speak about this opportunity with the SEDA in more detail.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any specific questions about my background.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Joe Smith"


I wish you good luck.

Answer 4

I agree with 44. The application letter should merit an interview. So, omit the second paragraph mentioning your disability. They will be able to see that during the interview proper anyway, and you will be able to explain it better because you're there already.

Also, be familiar with the addressee. Research what the name of the Human Resource manager is and use the surname to address him/her to make it more personal, instead of 'To Whom It May Concern'...

You also have mentioned Saskatchewan Economic Development Association many times in your letter. You can modify it and use 'your Company' instead.

Answer 5

I'd leave the physical disability part out of the cover letter, unless they have specifically mentioned in the ad that they give preference to people with disabilities. Unfortunately, legal or not, some people look negatively on a person with a disability. And since they wouldn't know anyway what your disability is, they might disqualify you from some job that you'd be perfectly able to do.

In the first line, I'd say summer employment rather than just employment, rather than making them read to the end to see that.

Good luck.

Answer 6

There is no need to mention a physical disability. What you want from the cover letter is just the interview. If accomodations need to be made you can discuss it with them after you get the job.

Answer 7

Don't admit you have a disability. They won't want to hire you. Its against the law but they don't care.