is it right to ask the teacher to ask her to keep a student away from my child?

Question

My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten and she started misbehaving all of a sudden. There is this girl in her class that has been in her pre k class and play group. All she does is whine and missbehave. My daughter plays with her. Is it right to ask the teacher to seperate them to and see if she is the problem on my daughter?

Answer 1

As a teacher, I can tell you that it is important for your daughter to learn how to deal with this type of thing now, because it will be impossible to keep all of the undesirables away from her forever. I would suggest that you get together with the teacher and express your concerns, and work out an action plan to help your daughter get through this with her own personality intact. I think a big mistake parents make with little ones that age is trying to shelter them too much or control their personality. With your daughter, I'd just gently notice her new behaviors, and ask her what she thinks is going on... maybe she doesn't realize how much she is mimicking this girl. I had a coworker once that I became rather good friends with, and she had an annoying habit of saying "or whatnot" after almost every sentence. After a few months, I discovered to my horror that I'd slip in the occassional "or whatnot" in my own speech. I had to conciously pay attention to make sure that it didn't happen. So I'd just help her find herself again, and help her work through this. Trust me, before you know it, she'll be in middle school and the kids will be asking her to try a cigarette or skip school or who knows what else... and it's better to have a daughter that is aware and prepared for it than one that has been shielded from negative influences. Good luck! :)

Answer 2

You can ask her to monitor the situation and separate them when possible, but to expect them to never interact or to rarely be placed together is not possible. She's got 20 something other kids to worry about. I'd worry about your daughter in playgroup with this other child more than in school. In school, children all act much differently than when parents are around. I'd monitor the situation at home and in your playgroup and see if that helps. If your daughter's not getting in trouble at school, then it's not an issue. Kids that are 5 years old misbehave--that's what they do. This is the first time they are figuring out the difference between reality and fantasy and are testing you to see what you know and what you don't.

Answer 3

You could probably ask her but it might not happen. The thing is with a teacher, she's not supposed to be impartial or single out a child who isn't "misbehaving". It just seems like you don't like this other little girl's influence on yours but there is nothing she is technically doing wrong except being herself. If it really is a big problem for you, you may have to consider another classroom for your daughter but you cannot expect the teacher to separate them. Because that would boil down to a punishment for nothing, also she would probably be left holding the bag if the little girl's parents noticed the teacher separating them. Even if she had the time or the energy to help you it would be against her views as a teacher to treat the children fairly to do it.

Answer 4

well, you don't want your daughter to misbehave, and neither does the teacher, so it makes sense to work together. schedule a conference and see what the teacher's point of view is. mention that you think she may be in part (i stress in part ... don't make it sound like it's all the other kid's fault or you will immediately lose the teacher) be mimicking this new friend, and ask the teacher if she thinks that it might be worth trying to seat her in a different place in the classroom or pair her up for partner projects/ etc. with a different child. teachers are receptive to this kind of thing ... but don't expect the teacher to tell your child not to play with Miss Troublemaker at recess or free time. it's way more effective asking teachers for their suggestions on what would help than it is telling them how to run their classroom.

Answer 5

Have you asked her teacher about how she sees your daughter? Perhaps she's noticed other things that can be helpful, or could suggest some things.

I find that directing a teacher or caregiver to do something isn't terribly effective - you need them as an ally. If you jointly come up with a plan to deal with your daughter's acting out, odds are it will work better.

Good luck.

Answer 6

The teacher has enough to do!If she thought it was a problem she probably would have separated them as much as possible during formal teaching times, but you cannot stop kids from playing together. If she has not done anything, or mentioned it to you, there is probably not a problem. Kids that age rarely learn bad behavior from others unless they lack inner discipline and cannot tell right from wrong. I doubt seriously that she is imitating the other child.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with asking the teacher to seperate that child and your daughter. It may not be effective because I am sure the teacher has to deal with other students.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

You need to keep working on your daughters behaviour. Give her consequences for her actions when she misbehaves.. Eventually she will learn on her own to avoid children that get her into trouble!

Answer 10

There should not be a problem, if you ask the teacher. Hopefully her teacher does not take it in a bad way and requests that she be transferred to another room.