Im getting married next summer to a military marine. Im just curious from all the military spouses what is it like? HOw do i be a good military wife? what can i expect? It doesnt matter the branch you are married too any info you will share with me will be great. Thanks.
2007-11-30 13:46:53 · 12 answers · asked by cowgirl 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
O gosh. haha let me tell ya..its something else. But as i always tell future wives..it takes a rare breed of woman to love a military man.
Its nothing like anything you have done before. I can promise you that. Its like a little kid at christmas..always antsy to see if maybe you are going to get the toy you want and then disappointment when its not there. You will get your hopes up a lot just to be let down and sometimes without even knowing something is coming---a cloud will open and you will be blessed. Hurry up and wait is going to be your best friend.
I personally LOVE being a military wife. I HATE the rumors and the gossip of being on a military base with the other wives but you just have to learn to separate yourself from it. Its hard because you become friends with so many people then the next thing you know, they are gone or you are moving and you start all over. A lot of friends made and just as many lost. I have always wanted to live a military life as i think its kind of exciting. You get to travel a lot (even if you don't want to. haha no choice) and do things you never thought you would. Meet a lot of people that you might only see once but you treat them as if you've known them for years because you know you might never see them after that night.
You can expect a lot of drama. It just happens. Theres really no way to avoid it..you can try but...theres always drama. From having to make plans last minute or to break plans last minute. To deal with military wives who cant keep their mouths shut to living next door to a wife of a deployed marine who well..to be honest...cant keep her legs shut. (IM SORRY TO BE BLUNT...IM JUST BEING TRUTHFUL) My husband was deployed only a mear 2 weeks ago...and a wife from his unit is already cheating so...it does happen. You learn to hear about it and just forget about it. You cant change everyone..i have to remind myself of that often. Dont confide to much in someone because you never know when that person you thought you knew will change completely. It happens a lot in the military and then you get screwed.
You can expect to have a lot of nights..even when your husband isnt deployed..where you just want to sit alone and cry. Because it is hard. Its not easy...i wont lie..being an army wife for me is the hardest thing i have ever done. Going days without seeing my husband because hes at training or going 15 months without seeing him because hes deployed and just doesnt have the extra leave days to come home. Its hard and it sucks but let me tell you..its so worth it. To see your man stand up proud in formation wearing that uniform with pride ugh..it warms my heart just thinking of it. your future husband is a man that not many other men can compare to. He has the ability to stand before the very things hes afraid of and conquer them with fear without even blinking an eye. Because he doesnt just do it for this country..hes going to be fighting for you. To keep you safe at night and to make sure that this world stays afloat. You may only be one woman..and he may only be one man..but that man you love has the ability to join up with other men and make a difference in this world.
Good luck. I hope i didnt scare you with all the bad things..but they happen. And i wish someone had told me. Its hard to put into words just exactly how it feels to be able to wear the name "military wife". Everytime i hear someone say those two words..i swell with pride not only in myself for being as strong as i am but because that means i am married to a military man. Its amazing..heartbreaking..joyous...and sad all at the same time. You will have your ups and downs but just remember..its so worth it. and standing behind that man helping him through will mean more to not only him...but to the rest of this country that depends on him...than you could ever know.
congrats on your soon to be marriage and good luck. if you need anything..just message me! its a fun life..thats for sure :D
2007-11-30 14:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I married my beautiful wife when she was in the military. A lot of military men do marry military women, but there are not as many so not every man can have a military woman. Also, a lot of wives get out of the military, so are not military any more. And then there are guys who want someone who knows nothing about the military and it's own world. And there are those who aren't looking for a military or civilian wife they just marry who they fall in love with.
2016-03-15 03:33:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Military wives are definately a special breed. 1st you must remember that no matter what branch you are in the military comes first. There are times when if you decide to have kids you will have to be both mom and dad. Your spouse could deploy and comeback seriously wounded or not at all. Military families move around quite a bit. So keeping a job is hard. Not imposible though. To be a good military wife be supportive. Never ever complain to his chain of command. Don't cheat when and if he deployes. On the plus side traveling allows you to visit places you may not have gotten to as a civillian. You get to meet lots of people and will probably make friends who will become extended family. Military life is tough but nothing compares w/ the pride. The pride of knowing that your part of something important. Anyone who tells you that your not is lying. Best of Luck and Welcome to the Club.
2007-11-30 14:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Was never a military spouse, but was in the military and have known hundreds of military spouses.
This is a good question, and pretty complicated. Prepare yourself for long separations, and the need to be very independent. That means it'll be up ot you to pay for things, get things fixed, not be deoendent on your husband to take care of those things. And, when he does return, be willing to give him room to unwind and get "back to normal" after the deployment. And, he WILL come back different--no getting around it. Especially if he goes to Iraq or Afghanistan.
He's going to want to "do things" and your going to need to be paitient, talk through things (even if he doesn't want to talk!), and give him time to readjust.
There will be many places you'll be able to turn to for help--you'll find out at whatever base your husband's stationed at. And, take full advantage of those services. And, volunteer at those service centers, too. You'll like it, I'm sure.
Being a good military wife is really no different than being a good person who is married. Make sure that you both have similar life goals, similar outlook on Life, the Universe, and Everything, and that you're both willing to compromise. Without that, it's very tought to make any marriage work.
Enjoy your life with your Girine. And, especially, enjoy your life!
2007-11-30 14:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by Pete S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You won't be living a stable life. Lot's of moving, and lots of separation while he is on deployments.
You should be prepared to take on a full-time job to help with the family finances (and to keep you busy while he is away).
Most military house-holds are neat as a pin. Be prepared to run a tidy, and organized house (if you don't already). This may not be the case...but probably about 90% chance or better.
That's about it. You should meet some great friends, and there will be some awesome parties. Military people are a pretty tightknit group.
2007-11-30 13:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by powhound 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As my wife sits here during my answer....
What is it like? Hell, fun, crazy, poor, loving, more hell, tough.
How to be a good spouse? Try to understand that when he comes back from a deployment where he may have been worried more about losing his life and about 24 hours later after getting back your concern is a faucet leaking, it may be a bit difficult for him. Just give him time to destress, if there is such a word. And, most importantly, take on the tasks at home while he is gone so he doesn't have to worry so much about you.
What can you expect? See first answer. Plus, you can expect a life of doing things and see things and experiencing things and learning things that are truly unimaginable as a civilian.
My wife spent about 18 years overseas with me, or sitting at home waiting for me to come back. She raised the kids. She fixed the leaky faucet. She repaired the car. She, well let's just say she did what I should have been doing if I had been home. And, now that we are retired, she continues on because that experience as created a truly marvelous person. As example, this past week we had our Veterans of Foreign Wars Veteran's Day poppy drive. I had sudden emergency surgery and had no replacement. She stood out there in 29 degree weather for 7 hours on one day and 6 hours the next day getting donations for the poppies. She's not a veteran. Hell, she's not even an American citizen. But she knew as a spouse that supporting me and the vets was priority number one. So what can you expect? To become one helluva person.
And, like, you she got a heckuva handsome husband in uniform. (Actually I threw that in behind her back).
Best of luck!
2007-11-30 14:29:43 · answer #6 · answered by Too Old For Idol 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are several sites that have discussion forums or information on this very subject.
It's not easy being a military spouse. Just offer your support to your husband and be true and good to him while he is away training or deployed. He will return the favor by being a good husband!
2007-11-30 13:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by mnid007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You be yourself. There are times when he is deployed and times you are together & you ask him when he will deloy again. You have to be prepared to move at a moments notice but you can also stay in one area for years and years. There are days that your house is a neat as what you see in magazines and other days when it looks like a hurricane hit it. It is like any other marriage there are ups and downs and everything in between.
We have moved several times and left friends. but we have gone to locations that are paradise and made new friends. Whether you like where you live or not is going to be up to you, you either like it or you hate it. I follow the policy of wherever we live that is our home. It is going to be that way for years so I either enjoy it or wallow in self pity. I have never done the later. I don't go "home" when he is gone on deployments to be near family, I stay where I am in our home with our military family.
2007-11-30 14:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by NWIP 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know what you are marrying into! To be a good military wife...which i am a marine infantry wife...you have to learn and understand how the marines work. Its not always in your favor and there is going to be alot of things you want to change. You need keep postive and be supportive and never resent your husband. deployments are hard, super hard....make friends, get a job, go to the gym, learn whats around at your duty station, talk to people...whatever you do stay faithful. everyone wants to believe everyone is a whore but really thats not true...i got a marine why would i want another one lol but you know what im saying. thats about it...money is tight most of the time...even with rasies....and thats about it. good luck!
2007-12-02 02:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by soleysgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married to my husband for 5 years. He currently is in the Navy. It's a lot of work in itself. The separation, moving every couple of years, making new friends, jobs are hard especially when you have kids and the schedules really conflict. I have made some wonderful friends when we move. All I can say is stay by his side, believe in him because he might want to make it a career. I have learned to cherish the time my husband is home with us. It isn't something you can get used to overnight. It all takes time to adapt to change. But in all honesty...I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING. Good luck to you and your fiance.
2007-11-30 15:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by NIKKI1118 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was a army wife , for along time and it was okay.. I would say just expect anything. How to be a good military wife, stick beside him in whatever he chooses. They do look really good in there uniforms. hmm LOL, but military life is alot different then not being in the military.. Tricare is the insurence and it sucks if your off post.. best of luck to you .
2007-11-30 14:47:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋