how do you feel about your inlaws kissing your toddler in the mouth????

Question

i have a two yr old and my husbands parents like to kiss him in the mouth..
i hate it ... and have told them not to do it, twice... but now im losing my patience...

do you think its acceptable or do you find it disguisting???

Answer 1

that's just wrong... you should do something about that...

Answer 2

My toddlers are now grandparents. But when they were little
I would not have put up with it. NOT EVEN Kissing the hands.
Just an idea, before it gets out of hand and feelings are hurt,
show then a note from the little guys doctor. Its not so much
the disgusting part as it is the spreading of germs. Your
husband should help with this as he can most likely get by with
more than anything else. Hope that helps and good luck.

Answer 3

You need to have sit down with the hubby. This is an important crossroads. Tell him that you need to have his relatives abide by your wishes. You do not want to have a vote, or discussion. Grandparents often times do not recognize and respect the parent's wishes, especailly the parent that is not thier child.
Tell him to communicate your message. Also make it clear when you two communicte these things, he needs to not beg off and say something like, "Suzie wants you to stop doing this, so just humor her and go along with it."
He should say, I want you to stop kissing the kid on the mouth. And I noticed Suzie asked you not to do that. In the future when we ask you to do something, please respect that request.
As a side story, a friend of mine had problems with his father-in-law not listening to him. One summer day, he came home the lawn had been sprayed by a lawn service, and his 5 and 7 year old daughter were out playing on the lawn. Not healthy. He had been told not to let them on the lawn, well he thought people complained to much about chemicals and it would really hurt them. Both were sick for two days.
After that he had to tell his wife, no more unsupervised visits by his father-in-law.
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Answer 4

Do they do the pursed lip buss? If so, it's more normal than you seem to think.
Also they have the same germs as your hubby, so it's down to what you're used to. They mouth kiss, you don't
If they were strangers you can stop them, but since they're his grandparents you can't without there being a whole lot of built up angst over the next few years. Just concentrate on all their good points so you don't obsess about this.

Answer 5

When it comes to my in-laws I always think of my parents. How would I react if my parents did it? I probably wouldn't tell my parents not to kiss my child on the mouth so I wouldn't tell my in-laws to either. After all, they have the same right to that child as my parent. I've told my mother-in-law and father-in-law that they are grandparents so what they say goes. I hope my daughter-in-law isn't rude to me if I do something minor like kissing her child on the lips. You just have to put things in a different perspective.

Answer 6

you know, this is a much bigger deal than you know. When I was a baby my gramma kissed me all the time, and from 5 on I have had gnarly outbreaks of cold sores, (which is a form of herpes) It is an std, that people get from kissing, and I have had to endure 20 years of it, and will continue to have to deal untill i die. SO dont let anyone kiss your baby on the lips, ANYONE. Who cares if it is acceptable or you think it is disgusting... it is just plain dangerous for the health, well being, self confidence, self esteem, freinds, girlfreinds etc etc of your baby. DONT LET 'EM DO IT, PERIOD. shove that in their faces next time they say anything, I hope my pain and suffering will heed you on the side of caution, for over 70 % of the population has the HSV1 virus and can easily pass it on. But at least it is not HSV2.

Answer 7

It sqwicks me!

But I've decided that the best course of action is to ignore it, and be confident that my kiddo can deal with it himself. Once kids are old enough to GIVE kisses, they kiss on the cheek.

Or at least that's how this played out with my now 3 y.o. son. They rarely land on his lips anymore, and I figure in a few months, it will be a thing of the past.

Don't know why they do it ... but if your relationship with your in-laws is rocky, asking them to stop can make them more likely to continue.

Answer 8

I find it gross---- mainly because I see the things that toddlers stick in their mouths.
It is otherwise acceptable for your in-laws to kiss your toddler on the mouth assuming we are talking about a normal kiss unless the child is uncomfortable with the kiss. Putting it rather crudely, if there were tongue involved that would be disgusting.

Answer 9

Could this be cultural diversity?

Mouth kissing has sexual connotations for me. I would hate that. It may be completely acceptable in their culture. Are they of a different culture?

Explain why you don't like it, how it makes you feel and why you as the child's parent would like the child to have the same cultural values.

Because of our upbringings we do find this disgusting but it is JUST body language that we are 'taught' subconsciously to have a strong response to.

I really would hate that. Maybe if they saw that you perceived it as some sort of paedophilia they would see why it revolts you so much.

I hope you can sort this one, it sounds really tricky.

Answer 10

Well i find it disgusting. Why exactly would you kiss a baby in the mouth. Not saying babies are nasty but you dont do that he can easily pick up germs from someone like that and be sick. Your boyfriend should tell His parent Do not kiss him in the mouth i cant tell you to get violent but that would be a suggestion. Just Tell her look i dont know where your mouths been im not saying you have anything but i rather you not kiss my son in his mouth please i dont have the patience for a sick baby i am busy enough keeping up with him now as it is

Answer 11

Kissing anyone IN the mouth is nasty. On the mouth is also a bit weird, especially when you tell them not to. I don't understand your reason to prohibit it. It is easy enough to ignore, but you are the parent anyway...