There was this guy I’ve been head over heels in love with for such a long time. My best friend knew how much I cared for him and she kind of served as a wingman for me. I finally started dating him. We had been dating a day or so more than a week and on Halloween night, my best friend took him home from work and he kissed her. She was sitting on his couch at the time. In fact, she went back to him for more the next day. She didn’t tell me about it. She was going to lie to me, but I pulled the truth out of her when we had gone to a concert together. The next morning we met up with him and all three of us talked. Now, my “boyfriend” was polyamorous, so him seeing another woman wasn’t really a shocker; however she was my best friend. I put my foot down and said, “Her or me” basically, and he chose her. She completely shoved my feelings aside and now they’re dating. I feel like I was shoved under the bus. She’s known for so long how strongly I felt for him and then she did this to me.
2007-11-30 12:59:54 · 8 answers · asked by Harley Quinn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He and I are no longer together. The day after I found out was the last time I've seen/ talked to him.
2007-11-30 13:05:34 · update #1
I am suffering from those feelings of complete pointlessness. I was so easily thrown aside. I just want to know how I can get over it; how I can make the pain go away.
2007-11-30 13:07:12 · update #2
I had known him for a little over a year. She's known him less. She met him because of me. He and I have been flirting with eachother for quite some time. She just suddenly liked him after a long time of saying he wasn't her type of guy. He's a prick and I just dropped him from my life because He's just a guy. I'm more upset with her because Ive known her for several years and we were like twins. All of a sudden she shoves me under the bus. That gave a good sting.
2007-12-01 00:56:27 · update #3
Living a full and rewarding life means opening yourself to all the possibilities that are offered to you day in and day out. It means letting people into your heart and basically hoping for the best. It works with friends, coworkers, lovers, family, etc.
Unfortunately, not everyone values the emotional effort that your put up. And thus take virtues like honesty and straight-forwardness as granted.
Please do not let what happened affect you. Your friend, even though no one can really have any control over such a true feeling as love, should have come straight out to you and be truthfull about the whole situation. You see, love, friendship, and in general any human relationship is based on communication. But not just any kind. It must be heavy with openness, truth, comprehension and empathy. In other words it must rely on our ability to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and thus reach a state of understanding which allows for no misconceptions.
I guess that I'm really trying to tell you is that she who calls herself your friend is not. She was just in for the ride.
As for him, not much of a catch. A man is a man every time and everywhere. And being that means sticking to certain values and principles rain or shine, and most of all, knowing that the set of *****between his legs are not just for counterweight but a good source of valor for looking straight into the eyes of the other person and call it as it is. "Polyamorous" is just another way of saying "I'm so damn stupid I do not know what I want and worst of all, I am so obsessed with my own insecurities that I've become a selfish, egoist, masturbating, parasite".
This is my advise. I suggest you ponder on the ideas I have just offered. Let time work its magic and heal you. And last but not least: go find him, look him in the eyes and give him one good kick in the balls so that he remembers where they are.
Finally let me tell you that all the pain and sadness will pass. The heartache will wither with time and will give you, in a way you can not grasp just now, strength to open up and fall in love again.
You-will-be-stronger.
2007-11-30 14:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by toroboltan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..
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Helping you eliminate depression?
2016-05-16 01:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And the pains going to stay, unless you learn your lesson, ooo you could distract yourself, but then you'd have to keep that up. But realize, the old saying "your better off" has intense meaning, those were in no way good people, and them gone, means you have an chance to actually met some. You better then this, until you realize, its going to burn...
2007-11-30 13:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by Brutal Honesty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel so bad for you. It wasn't her fault alone. He dumped you for her and that's cruel. Some people are two faced. Now you know who they really are. You are going to be in pain for a while but I know eventually you will begin to heal and move on, find a great man and leave them in your dust.
2007-11-30 14:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by foureveryung 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EW! what a biotch. obviously she was never a good friend. dump them both!
2007-11-30 13:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by x3kissmeintherain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow im soooo sorry :[. your best friend probably feels like crap rite now. what a b**** tho. thats not rite at all. i would hav dumped him.
2007-11-30 13:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jack D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i am sorry that your heart was broken. i've been depressed before, so i can empathize with you. first, you say that you were head over heels in love with this guy, and this is before you started dating him, and am i correct in assuming that you had dated him for a shade over a week when he kissed your best friend? then they got together the next day. did she know him, or become interested in him only after she was aware of your infatuation with him? were you intimate with this guy? was he intimate with her? and you say he is polyamorous and you accepted that about him basically. but the person with whom he betrayed you is your best friend? you sure about the best friend? how long have you known her? i think he chose her because you gave him an ultimatum. he is polyamorous after all and i don't think you've been dating him long enough for him to declare his undying love and fidelity, i might add, to you. and i am not the kind of person to date my friends' boyfriend or husband. i just see it as an unwritten, understood rule. first of all, you're putting all the blame on your girlfriend and you say nothing of him. the way i look at it, you were loving him from afar and you had just started dating him and had been for just a day over one week. not enough time for him to fall in love with the girl who has loved him far longer than he has known. and you knew he was polyamorous and you accepted it? or did you just resign yourself to that fact because you were head over heels in love with him and wanted to have him at any cost, no matter what? i feel if i had a friend, a true friend, they wouldn't get involved with someone that i am dating. but maybe she thought it was ridiculous that you were so in love with this person long before you went on a date with him. and maybe she didn't think that in a week he'd fall head over heels in love with him. and was she interested in him before you met him or did she just all of a sudden become romantically interested in him only after she put you two together? i mean, how long has she known him? and obviously she knows he is polyamorous and so she didn't think he would become so thoroughly engrossed in her that he wouldn't kiss another woman, even if that other woman was a friend of yours? anyway, the way to get over this one is to realize that you had an irrational form of love, an infatuation with him. you didn't say that this guy was head over heels for you for such a long time before you dated him for a week. i don't think a week is a long enough time to get to know someone. anyway, you thought this girl was your friend and now she is dating your hoped for. you will need to cut her off because that will continue to fuel your depression. i mean, get her out of your head and get him out of your head. accept it and then you will be able to move on. realize that your love for him was just masquerading as infatuation. you idealized in your own mind what the relationship would be based on your own desires and thoughts, without his participation. that is moreso why you are so deeply depressed. you let yourself down because you bought into something that was grown out of something not stable. not something that had been developed with the maturation of time, something grown out of mutual participation of both the parties, not just a one sided architectural design of your own making. and you laid claim to ownership of this man who is admittedly polyamorous. did you think that he would put restrictions on himself regarding his amorous behavior? don't let them live in your head rent free. get them out so that you can progress to the next stage. busy yourself with other things so that you can move on. you will start to feel better. and don't fall in love with someone who does not fall in love with you because things will be terribly lopsided and not based on fact and you will be setting yourself up for a complete letdown. i do wish you all the best
2007-11-30 14:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by thecatmama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
true friends wont do that so get over her
2007-11-30 13:05:15 · answer #8 · answered by sexy_gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋