I consider myself is good judge of character and mental status. I can generally spot a nut ball from a distance. But, like most humans with feelings, I sometimes fall for the wrong type of man! This happened ALOT when I was younger, but now that I am more mature, I understand how to recognize the traits I want in a partner. But, despite my maturity, I have failed at accumulating male friends or partners who are actually honorable or decent. Before I die, I would like to say that I met one guy who wasn't a liar, game player, cheater, or damaged (sociopath).
I don't care for bad boys, but I think I sort of look 'good girl-ish' and that attracts damaged guys. Enviromnment can also be a stumbling block. That's part of my problem as well....
Can you GOOD guys/ nice guys give me more prespective on how to recognize a good / nice guy? Feel free to use lists, or mention traits you have within yourself that you consider honorable in character, things that make you a good guy... thanks :)
2007-11-30 12:11:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel it is something that is pretty much decided by you but to me a good guy would be someone that doesn't expect sex isn't rude treats spouse as an equal and will actually do something for his girlfriend without being pressured
2007-11-30 12:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well nice guys will not approach you. They'll be quiet and kept to themselves because they don't want you to get the impression about them that they want to use you like all the other guys who approach you. They do this to set themselves apart. The downside is that nice guys generally don't have a lot of confidence until you date them for a while. Most of the time this lack of confidence is rooted in nothing other than not having a girl, but with you there, they grow into being much stronger people. They'll also be fairly ugly or otherwise unattractive. The more girls a guy is with during his lifetime, the more spoiled he becomes, so the less attractive guys who never have those girls available to them are much nicer people. The same can be said for girls, usually the uglier ones that guys don't want have the great character and genuine goodness and generosity in their hearts, even though sometimes their personality (confidence, self-esteem, etc) is not so beautiful.
2016-04-06 21:47:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably emotional rather than logical. Despite your good judgment and intelligence you always seem to end up with the wrong kind of guy.
I think three things may come into play here. One is a fear of intimacy. If you always hang around guys with some kind of percieved, glaring problem you always have an excuse not to completely give yourself to them. Or, intimacy can be avoided by seeking out people you know won't take your heart if you give it to them.
Another possibility is that of familiarity. We tend to be drawn to people who remind us of our family. This is where "chemistry" comes in. We just seem to 'click' and are at ease with these people.
A third possibility is that we often times try to resolve childhood issues in our adulthood. I'm familiar with the 'nice-guy' syndrome. The nice guy seeks out aloof women because he's still empty and bitter about not being allowed to have his mother's heart. He imagines that if he can take a cold girl and turn her into a warm loving woman he can somehow find the key to his mother's heart. The bitterness is expressed by his "niceness" after he is initially rejected by the girl, which is really manipulation sprung from anger at being told no. "Well, I'll just show you how wrong you were to reject such a great person as me."
The way through this is not more knowledge about how to spot 'bad' guys. Your head is not the source of the problem. Your heart is. The way through this is to dig down into your heart and soul. Find out what draws you to these people. What pain, anger, and fears are you still carrying around that you might be trying to resolve? What beliefs do you have that you're not even aware of that may not match your reality? This will be a long journey should you choose to take it. But the sooner you start the sooner you can get that relationship you're looking for.
Hope this helps.
2007-12-01 09:14:53 · answer #3 · answered by LG 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK the first thing im gonna tell u is you never determine whether a guy is truely nice or not by the way he treats you. You determine a man by how he treats complete strangers who he has nothing to gain from by being nice to. Guys at charity events can be nice guys for example because they are usually giving their time up to help others unselfishly.
Dont make the mistake of falling into bs opening lines by a playa. In the end its the purity of the heart that determines if a man is good or not.
2007-12-05 10:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by virgin guy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good guy/ nice guy is someone who will come up & talk to you whether his shy or not.He will have a nice personality&talk in a funny tone of voice he'll do anything to get you're attention his ussually polite his the one that can't take his eyes off you.you should allso take a look at his manners as he might be very apollogetic.but you can never be to sure.he won't pressurerise you into anything that you would'nt do.And it does'nt matter where he comes from his manners will tell you everything that you need to know about him.like they say good guys allways end up last.you most problably had a good guy admiring you but you just did'nt take note of him.good luck finding MR right.
2007-11-30 18:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by jero0111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its hard to judge someones character until there is a bump in the road and you can see how they react. Someone may seem nice or good until there is a problem and then they completely change. But until you get to that point some things to look for are honesty, loyalty and a person that is understanding.
2007-11-30 12:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Bradley S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is exactly what your lookin for a nice guy is not the hottest guy in the room, but one of the cutest and he will make you laugh when you strike up a conversation with you and if you feel something for this cool funny and cute guy and want to explore something ask him to a movie or something because we tend to be somewhat shy and hesitant probably fear of rejection.
if you get a chance could you go help me out with my post
one nice guy helping you to find another, he's there just look a bit harder he'll be at the party, and he'll the life of it making jokes that me, i mean him
lol : )
2007-11-30 12:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The good guy has one girl.
We are shy. It is unlikely that we would come over and talk to you.
It is quite likely that we are not the best dressed and may need a "make over'.
2007-11-30 12:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by Steve B 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
if your lookin of rsomeone like that... the best thing i think is to look for someone who when you walk by him he doesnt stare at you like a perv. some guys smile at girls and thats good.. im like that. if i see a girl i like i talk to her and respect her and not treat her like a whore.
2007-12-01 12:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by steven 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋