dirty jokes...don't like don't read(star if u like)?

Question

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"


A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Answer 1

lmao... i loved those jokes... i seriously looked like a goon laughing my azz off in front of this computer. Thanks!
HERE'S ONE I THINK YOU'LL LIKE =D

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates pass St.Peter.

St. Peter asks the first girl, “Gloria, have you ever had contact with a penis?” She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched with the tip of my finger…” St. Peter says, “Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates.”

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Catherine, have you ever had contact with a penis?” The girl is a little reluctant but replies, “Well once I fondled and stroked one.” St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate.”

All of the sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, “Lisa! What seems to be the rush?” The girl replies, “Well, If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Stephanie sticks her a$$ in it!”

Answer 2

There is continuously an sixty nine% hazard that I am at any given second. I do not know whilst you truthfully requested the query so that's the excellent I can do. How soiled? You have recognise concept.

Answer 3

Funny! 10!

Answer 4

My friend told me the third joke before, but I haven't heard the first two. They were pretty funny.

Answer 5

Love the third one

Answer 6

that was funny....my favorite was the one about the three guys at the ski lodge

Answer 7

I loved all 3 of them I give you a 10. GOD BLESS

Answer 8

I don't get the last one but the rest were fuuunnnnaaaayyy!

Answer 9

the first one is funny. the others is not so bad but good.

Answer 10

I don't get the last one...but the first two are pretty good.