have you ever had the notion that theres certain people who are happy because they no your not going anywhere?

Question

in life?

their happy because they feel your under their control...things will never ever work out the way you want them to......and they are happy because of this..

im 30 with borderline personality disorder and for a while now ive had bad paranoia that theres people who seek to control my life.....keep me down.
ive suffered a very traumatic life....bullying and abuse.....unfairness.
ive aged badly.....have physical imperfections.....2 missing teeth...torn ankle ligaments...aching joints...limbs.

live alone in a one bedroom flat...on benefits...never been employed...no qualifications.
i have goals i still want to reach still...living in a quiet coastal village...living in my own house...a loving partner...living near the beach.

but i feel some people are happy, laughing their heads off because they no something i dont...they no im never going anywhere and ill remain under their control.

this makes me angry, what does anyone think?

im not sure who these people are

it makes me want to find them and rip their heads off........ot give up and spend the rest of my days in a mental hospital.....which is easy to do.....i could easily ruin my life like that......disappear from society....if i feel i dont have a chance to achieve my goals........or that my life is somehow being manipulated and controlled. so i dont get those goals...
if this is the case....what is the point in trying?
no thankyou

Answer 1

There is a German word called "Schadenfreude." It means "taking pleasure in other people's misfortunes."

First.....please make certain to speak to counselor or clergy about your concerns if there's a way to reach them or to have them visit you. If you have been through a lot of adversity in your life without any affirmation from a network of family and friends, it is very difficult to cope alone, even if you are a loner by nature. Seek this treatment also for healing of your abuse issues.

Second.....Examine yourself to see whether there is truly any evidence of your current contacts/occasional contacts taking pleasure in your suffering and pain. If there is no actual evidence of this in their actions or in their words, then re-consider whether they truly want to keep you down.

Third...Think about whether anyone in your recent experience has offered to help you and has followed through...If so, try to tackle each issue/problem one at a time.

Fourth...Take refuge in a support group of some sort...perhaps several...here's why... If you find a true friend, and if YOU can be a true friend, you must still reach a point where you decide not to consume the friendship with your problems, or to use your friend(s) solely as therapists, and thus exhaust the relationship. This is why there are support groups and clinicians available. However, a good friend should be able at least to listen to you sometimes and offer a helping hand.

Fifth...examine your personal beliefs. If you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc....really think about what you truly believe, in and of the beliefs themselves as well as in light of all of your problems.

In other words, for example, if you are a Christian, tell God exactly how you feel..this includes all the negative stuff...even if you feel that HE'S betrayed you. If you believe in God, then you will probably also believe that He knows how you feel ANYWAY, so you may as well acknowledge it and verbalize it to HIM.

Lastly...try not to extend yourself mentally in some hope of a future happiness in life. Take the hard-nosed attitude that "life" (aside from its biological meaning and its meaning as an earthly collective of people, places and events) doesn't owe any of us a thing. If you impose a debt on "life" (in the abstract), "life" is unlikely to repay that debt or to make you happy.

At some point, happiness has to be internally generated, DESPITE circumstances, not BECAUSE OF them.

I really hope this helps you...I feel very bad for you in your current situation.

Answer 2

That's because there are. They are antisocial persons and they love to see others fail and not do well in life. Who are you going to make happy? Them or you? The best way to make them grind their teeth is for you to succeed and be happy and do well. First, get a student-level dictionary and look up the words that you use, so you know the meanings and spell them right and then people won't think you're not smart. Cause you are. You have seen something, and suffered for it, so you are able to observe, maybe more than others. Now you have to protect yourself by getting educated and gaining mental strength. Don't let people tell you what you think. Work your body a lot to get relaxed, stay legal and ethical to keep your composure, and get educated and then you can become a productive person, contributing/trading/earning a place in society somewhere that you can fit. Put your creativity to work for you, not by worrying about "them" (they're always on earth, and always will be -- just ignore! Don't give in), but worry about you. Worry about your growth as much as you would for somebody else who you loved and wanted to do well. Care for yourself that much for a long while, and you'll find you do better and better. And don't watch the news or read the papers. Bad news you don't need. Take care!

Answer 3

Research "The Secret" It is life changing. Not sure if people want to hold you down or keep control over you but the only person that can really control you is you. No one has control over you or you're actions. I think that you are at a point in you're life where you need a good push into what you want out of life. Books and enlightenment from friends and chat can encourage you but YOU have to be willing to do the work. Make no exuses for you're life, learn from what you have been through. You can achieve what you want. You are you're own worst enemy believe it or not. There are people who may discourage you but believe it or not there ARE people out there willing to help. Read this book: The dreamgiver. It's awesome. Also, email me if you want.. [e-mail]. I can inspire you and give you direction if you want. Im not a therapist BUT, I have been where you are at and I can help you get to the next level if you want. You will have to be willing to accept the truth and be willing to do some hard work and also be willing to take criticism. Believe it or not, the choices you made previously, put you where you are today. The good news is, you can change that! Take care and write if you need or want to. :)

Answer 4

Althouh I have never actually had a problem with personality disorders and the likes, I do have people in my life who try to keep me down. Its only because they think they are better than you..in this case with me its my boss ( the store manager where i work). Although I want to advance in my career how I can by applying for promotions,he always denies me. We just have to keep on the bright side that jesus loves us the way we are and that's all that matters. Those who are christians and still judge aren't very christian-like, are they?We are created equal in God's image and likeness and we have authority through Jesus Christ and are seated in the havenly places at his side-he gave us this privelage. Don't let others tell you you can't get anywhere-keep applying yourself and move on. Just cuz you have physical imperfections doesn't mean that others shouldn't accept you for who you are and if they don't then its their loss..and you can learn skills in a job if you apply yourself..I have faith in you.Who we are now is not always who we are meant to be..God changes us always. If you seek him first he will put things into perspective for you. I hope this helps you! Love in Christ and God Bless!

Answer 5

I know how you feel, people can suck so bad. Wanting to get away from society and all the assholes who inhabit it is not unique. You think to much that is your problem, don't be so analytical. You have goals that you want to reach, no-one ever got what they wanted by sitting back and thinking about it. I suggest that you take it one step at a time, just day by day.

Don't let others control your life, most importantly DO WHAT YOU WANT. It doesn't matter how menial it seems your special and your life is important. Live it how you want.

Answer 6

I can see how you would think people are happy about your problems. But it may not be true. Even if it is, you would need to get to the basis of those feelings and work on realizing you are beautiful, no matter what you look like or what you've been through. I don't want to sound preachy, but God thinks you're beautiful because your his child. I hope you can find your peace and hope in Him. I have.

Answer 7

You might be thinking about the government, but forget al that of traumatic life, go to a psychologist as soon as you can, think before you act, be kind no matter what, forget evil people, even if there is bad people in your life there is always a chance to find alot of best riends from the 7 billion humans on earth.

you probably have depression, be positive LOOK AT THE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE PLEASE!!!!

Im showing you how to look at the glass half full instead of half empty.

Answer 8

The best way you can get back at these people is to go to a doctor and get on some really good medication, find a job and make new friends. That is the best way of getting back that I know.

Answer 9

My ex husband was that way. He was perfectly happy with me not furhtering me education or staying in some dead in job. People like that area controling and need help.

Answer 10

Pray for their demise. Then start using visualization techniques to bring meteorites crashing down upon the planet so it will go up in a ball of flames. :-) If you BELIEVE then it can be so. (stupid mumbo sh** I hear people say). and umm don't forget your towel when this all starts to happen.