my husband is a full time student and employer, my baby is 1 year, his mum lives with us, am very sensitive i don't stand judjments,and she is very judgemental. me &my husband don't have the privacy of being intemite ,not even have the time for it, our conversations always end up with a fight,i feel like he's started to feel annoyed because of me and my sensitivity, i can't help being serious,and i don't feel excited for anything ,nothing makes me feel happy whatsoever.i feel bored with everything, sometimes i feel like i need to go far far away but i have no choice to do so.is there any recipe for being happy and interested in life and how to get my husband back to me???????????
2007-11-30 10:20:39 · 6 answers · asked by sazi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is imperative that you make time for yourself and time for you and your husband. Just because you are a mother and wife doesn't mean that is all you are. Nurture your individuality. Take a little time to do something that makes you happy. Also set aside date nights with your husband so that you can get intimate again. It is very easy to rekindle the spark if you just dedicate a little time to it!
Don't blame everything on yourself. It makes two people to make a relationship work. Your husband needs to commit to your marriage as well. He needs to be more in tune with your emotions--they run high after having children, especially.
As for your Mother-in-Law, I hate to tell you, but one of the #1 reasons for divorce is having a live-in in-law. Is there a reason she has to live with you? If you have the money, perhaps you could put her up in a nice apartment...in town, but not too close to you. You by no means need to cut her off from your lives, but your marriage just can't survive if she is constantly in your business.
If you can't afford to help her move out, you are at the very least (and your husband needs to do this, too) going to have to tell her to mind her own business. It could be that you're a bit sensitive, but I am sure she isn't helping by constantly criticizing you. She lives in your house, and she's going to have to respect you and treat you with kindness if she wishes to stay.
Good luck, and hang in there. It'll get better!
2007-11-30 10:32:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is mum living with you? That's you're #1 problem right there. Then, you don't get out enough, and I'd not doubt you're depressed. Go have a conversation with a therapist and see what she thinks you should do. She may suggest getting on some antidepressant meds. She may suggest some family counseling.
A great resource is nami, www.nami.org. They can find a dr. for you, they can help you figure out how to pay for it, and you can chat with people who are in similar situations if you like.
Do get some help. Living in situations like this, unhappy, yet trapped, turn people into bitter, old cronies when they could have been jolly grandparents.
TX Mom
2007-11-30 10:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any way that you can get your MIL out of the house and into her own. That will greatly reduce your stress right off the bat. With her in the house with you she is vying for his attention and you are coming up in second place. Mom's have a way of throwing a guilt trip so that their children feel bad if they do not give in to their every whim. If that is not an option then I think that you and your family including your MIL need to get into counseling so that a professional can tell them how important it is that you and your husband have alone and intimate time together. You are clearly stressed by her comments and I'm sure that she cuts you at every corner about the way you raise the baby to how you treat your husband. He really needs to stick up for you to her so that she knows that you are the first woman in his life now not her. I do wish you luck with this. Don't give up yet. Get in to see a counselor first. If they refuse to go with you then you need to go at least so that you can see what your options are.
2007-11-30 10:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell him all of this and see what he says. I have been married 9 yrs and when oneof our parents come to visit or we go visit i start to feel stifiled so you guys really need to see about maybe getting out on your own or getting her out on her own you need time as a family and not with someone hovering over you either.
2007-11-30 10:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by life as we know it 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest finding a babysitter so you two can have nights out together. do things you both will enjoy and maybe something you two used to do together and try to rekindle the flames. also try talking with him and telling him how you feel about everything. if nothing else works maybe you can try therapy, couples therapy, etc
2007-11-30 10:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live in ur own apt. or house for 1 thing sounds like u married a mama's boy dont complain now.
2007-11-30 10:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋