I always meet guys with great personalities that I really like but I'm not attracted to them. I married my husband because I loved him but was not in love, I felt secure and loved and he was a great guy but it didn't last because I wasn't attracted to him. I have remained single for 3 years and have now met another guy that is so so nice yet I don't fancy him. Why can't I meet a guy that is both. He is pestering me to go out with him but I can't bring myself to start seeing someone I'm not 100% commited to. I really really like him though...just not apperance. Is there ever a right person??? What can I do?
2007-11-30 09:31:33 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just giv it time you would meet the right guy...of course there is a combination of looks, tht u would find attractive and personality...it wont come to u right away but if u dont look it will come..i promise :-) good luck!
2007-11-30 09:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by nas_staci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar spot...only typically I date the really attractive, cool guys that turn out to be self absorbed jerks. This guy is "cute" but not what I typically like; however, I found the more that I am around him, the more I like about him and the more I like about him, the more I am attracted to him. If you really really like him. Give him a shot. I'm not saying marry him today without being attracted to him, but he may grow on you.
A lot of the relationships I see with people who have been married 30 or 40 years that are very successful--a lot of them will tell you they weren't just crazy about one another at first.
If there is chemistry---with personality and common interest, see if that develops into anything. Physical attraction doesn't stay there forever. But, God, I know it's nice to have---no one is perfect. Loving them is accepting who they are and embracing it. The right person still isn't perfect but is the one you can love despite their imperfections.
2007-11-30 09:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by BeeBee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to provide formulas to woo the emotional pranks of romance. It is very subjective, volatile, moody, and impressionistic. If you look into your fantasies (the kinds of men who give you a jolt), you'll find your romantic model; however, the wow! factor isn't necessarily compatible with other qualities you might wish to engage with--tenderness, admiration, fairness, respect for peoples' differences, etc.
You also might try to interest or approach the kind of guy who makes you go wobbly and see what happens (you can be pretty subtle about this--you don't have to act like a maneater) rather than wait for him to notice you. Don't be timid--try it! Then as you make the sun run and both come to know each other, you'll see how the other qualities pan out.
Consider, too, that there may be some passivity on your part that is attracting men who are too keen in seeking a compliant lady because they're not too sure about their own charisma...Romance thrives on charisma. That means your own magnetism must emit the energy to pull in you magnetic object!
2007-11-30 10:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by marlem388@att.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't say this to hurt you, but you seem really self centered.
What are you looking for? Perfection? You'll never find it in this world. What do you mean by 'a guy that's both?' You said these guys have great personalities, but YOU are not in love with them. How is that the guy's fault? You need to be a little more realistic in you expectations, or you're just setting yourself up for the greatest let-down of your life. No one is perfect. Not You, not me, not anyone. Relationships are not easy, but nothing worth while ever is. If you're looking for that 'romantic Hollywood love', go see a movie, that's the only place it exists.
Real people live real lives and have real feelings. Life is unscripted. You fill in the blanks.
2007-11-30 09:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by ic2olney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found that if I was with a person who I was really attracted to (making my jaw drop, heart throb etc etc), they often treated me bad and took me for granted, even cheated on me. Often I ended up feeling like a nobody. Such attractive people usually have too many numbers in their address book and too many skeletons in their closet.
I very often felt that I was not getting the 100% attention or level of emotional fulfillment I was looking for a long term relationship.
Instead when I was with a person with whom I felt comfortable the relationship really soared. I fought like a mule initially because I wasn't all that attracted, but it didn't matter how obnoxious I was, she was very kind and understanding. Today we are married and with each passing day, I find her more and more attractive to me and I can feel in my mind and body that this attraction is healthy for me, this attraction is the real deal.
2007-11-30 10:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by kalyan19677 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is You just haven't met that right person yet. Like me (lol) . But really just take your time and don't look so hard and you'll stumble a cross him when you least expect it. Trust me GOD has a plan for you and he will bring that person in your life when your ready. So change up your life a little hang out in different places and with different people too. Plus take up a hobby running , bike riding or something more your speed.
2007-11-30 09:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by MB714 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is difficult to find "perfect" men...especially in this day and age when really good-looking men are expected to be studs and sleep with many women, even if they are in a committed relationship. I'm 24, and its difficult for me to even find single average looking men my age! lol And you know, attraction isn't all physical. A lot of times, if you grow to love a person...physical attraction will follow. You don't have to be instantly attracted to a person. So I would say, if you want a "perfect" man...be careful, because a lot of what we THINK are "perfect" men are wolves in sheeps clothing. But if thats what you truly want...then keep looking.
2007-11-30 09:45:59 · answer #7 · answered by little e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that you are not attracted to him because of his looks that is not the answer. You will never find the right person. Looks is not everything trust me i know it start by how the person treats you. If he treat you like a woman should you need to go with that instead of the looks. Once you get someone that you is attracted to they wil not treat you like the lady you are.
2007-11-30 09:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to worry about who people are on the inside not the outside!! When I met my husband I wasn't attracted to him in a physical way but as I got to know him his personality made him attractive to me.
2007-11-30 09:36:18 · answer #9 · answered by bns2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sry 2 tell u but you will nvr find some1 that is totally great 4 u
my girl is sweet sensitive pretty and everthing i can ask for in a girl but if she wanted us to get married 2day i wouldnt cuz im not totally commited yet it takes a long tim 2 b totally committed me and my girl have been 2gether 5 years now and i love her so much but like i said im not ready 4 a coomiittment
2007-11-30 09:36:34 · answer #10 · answered by antspetrino 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋