well ive been with the same guy since i was 18 yrs old .i am now 22.n-e ways things were good in the beginning but one thing that has always been an issue that i turned a blind eye to is that he is incredibly selfish when your 18 and in love you put up with anything ,but now its gotten worse we have two babies now a 1 yr old and a 8 month old .he works alot and we dont spend much time when he is off work he either wants to party with his family or be on the computer all day completly ignoring his kids and leaving me 24 hr mom im very isolated and lonely since i have such a work load .i have no time 4 friends and my husband seems to have no time 4 me ive become very unhappy with him because of this he puts his cousins and friends before us but they seem to just use him but he dosent seem to care about that he'd rather be w\ users than spend time w\his kids and family who love him the only time he needs me is if he wants somthing.should i call it quits or talk it out?
2007-11-30 07:46:38 · 6 answers · asked by ash1234 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i tried to tell him about my lonliness and my unhappiness and he'll act lke he cares then when i get happy start doing the same things again.everything is always about him even when my friends do come over even thats gotta be about him he's very narsicistic and thinks he's the center of the world and he'll help anyone who needs his help 'but me,should i drop this *** hole.
2007-11-30 07:50:40 · update #1
other people have noticed his mother always nags him about it too ,becuase everytime she see's him he's rolling around w\his friends and is never seen w\ his kids and i've told him if he's not ready to be married and be a good dad then we'll break up,because he's hell bent on being 16 yrs old forever.
2007-11-30 08:44:32 · update #2
Have you guys tried marraige counseling? It might be worth a shot. You have a lot on your shoulders without having to worry about your husband's attitude too. He might be feeling overwhelmed himself about having to provide for a wife and two children at a relatively young age. Still, he's not being fair to you and that needs to change. Talk to him again. If he doesn't listen tell him you want to try a trial seperation and see how he reacts to that. Something needs to light a fire under this guy's butt. If nothing seems to work then yes, lose him. Your kids need a strong and happy mom. You deserve it too.
2007-11-30 08:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs someone else to point out his faults to him, besides you. When a you are the only one telling, and showing what he is doing wrong, he only gets it in his head that you're only nagging him. He fails to realize the impact his behavior is having on you and the harm it is doing to the relationship. He is tired after he comes home afterwork, that's understandable. A toddler and an infant is more than a hand full for any mother. Unless he gets with the program, and quickly, the marriage will be on its way, from bad to worse. A few hours after work for him to unwind and relax is long enough. After that, it's back to helping you with the responsibilities taking care of the children.
The other side of the coin is this :
How much effort are you willing put into it also. There are always two sides to a story. It will take the effort of the both of you to put it back together. It is a time to get marriage counsling. There needs to be someone to be neurtral. When you bring up the things he is not doing, that you feel he should be doing. He will counter that, with everything he can think of that you are doing wrong in his way of thinking. And now there is a battle going on. So much waisted energy is being spent in a useless way, acomplishing nothing. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but with the other persons feeling, and happyness on their minds, they will be in constent gaurd to do what will keep them happy. You are doing something that is making your husband unhappy, which he will not tell you. This is something so small that you don't know you are doing it, (only a guess). The everyday, all the time behavior he is doing out weighs anything and everything else. Like I said before, it will take the effort of him and you together to fix this. It sounds like you don't want to really leave him, but you will, if he don't wake up and smell the coffee. I'm not telling you it's wrong, I'm telling you that It don't need to be this way.
God Bless you both.
2007-11-30 08:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First give him oral sex...upon finishing tell him if he does not change his attitude that will be the last time he gets that from you. If that does not work try moving away from family and friends, get a job far from everyone and then he will have to concentrate on family it will be all he has.
2007-11-30 07:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The kids need a loving father,, but they will be better served with a healthy, happy fulfilled mom,,, dump the ***hole
2007-11-30 07:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by TommyBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should put this exact question with all details on your husband's favorite chair, or on the keyboard.
Make arrangements to talk to your pastor or priest.
Good LUck
2007-11-30 07:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk it out first you owe it to your kids to try and make it work
2007-11-30 07:50:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋