hi! i am in love with my cousin whose the same age as me and i am scared of telling him...please i live in the US and he in india i dnt even know if he even likes me...our families are rivals but they sometimes talk...so now what should i do...i mean am really frustrated because the biggest thing is that i come from an ISLAMIC family...really typical one and they dont support the idea of love b4 marriage. but am really desperate for him...any answers???...i know its lotta complicated but i'd really b gr8ful 4 ur help....thanx!!!
2007-11-30 07:37:40 · 20 answers · asked by *Just Me* 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sorry i dont believe in that we call it incest in america.
2007-11-30 07:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming this is a distant cousin, family-wise? Since your family doesn't support the idea of love before marriage, there's a good chance your cousin would be freaked out about it too. Plus, your families don't get along and are on the other side of the world.
If I were you, I'd focus my time and energy on something else. It seems to me like you're pretty young and this is just the product of day dreaming.
2007-11-30 07:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how old are you? Are you and your cousin of an age at which anything permanent is even feasible?
Next, how closely related are you? Is he a first cousin? How does you religion view marriage between such relatives? If the answer is that it's perfectly acceptable, there's one obstacle overcome.
Then, when do you expect to see your cousin again? If the answer is "Heaven only knows," then maybe you'd better try hard to get over him. However, if the answer is "soon" (like within a year), try to sense his feelings then--maybe delicately sound him out on his future plans and whether he'd like to live in the US.
If he seems attracted to you, maybe he'd be interested in coming here for college, and things could develop between you then. If he brought up the idea of marrying you to both families, maybe presenting it as a way to improve relations between them ; ), they might go for it.
2007-11-30 07:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by aida 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have kids with your 1st cousin, they can come out retarded or worse. Unless he can get here, where women have rights, give up.
Didn't you hear about the woman who got into a car with an old friend & the guy was beaten they raped her & gave her lashes & imprisonment. Since you seem like you are under 18, do you want your parents to send you to where he lives? Where you will have no rights???
Do what they want til you're 18.
I had a client who is Muslim. She was 16 & slept at a boys house. Her father found out & planned to fly her to Jordan & not bring her back. She didn't know it at the time. She ended up having to be institutionalized to save her from going there. Her mom was american but died.
2007-11-30 07:46:05 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's your mother or fathers brother or sisters son, you could never have children. Very bad things can happen. Things that you couldn't even imagine. Love him as your cousin. He is so far away and maybe hanging on to that feeling keeps you looking foreward instead of seeing whats around you. Live today. Things change so slowly we can't see it. You know you trim your nails and hair but never see it grow. You will meet many people. Give someone a chance to get to know you. Best wishes.
2007-11-30 07:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your children will be ridiculed, ugly and deformed. Why because you share the same gene pool. The things you do will always affect more people than you in the long run. This isn't complicated at all, you are hot for the forbidden fruit. and you selfishly want to satisfy your perceived needs, without thinking or caring of the far reaching consequences. THINK, , If not for yourself for what your actions could do to the entire family.!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-30 07:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by angels_angelsarehere 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your cousin! Move along! Besides, I think you have romanticized this all out of proportion. It sounds like the plot of a Bollywood movie. However, mostly life in not happily ever after. (Your families fight, you will have in- law trouble. This is a man you don't know, so therefore who knows if he is a wife beater or cheater. etc)The fantasy will never live up to the reality.
2007-11-30 07:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by always b natural 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you cant help who you fall in love with but considering your background and all the complications id try and move on but if you really feel you cant confronting him and asking in someway may be the only way to work this out, and the fact you are from america and they call this incest dosent help, although not everywhere considers this incest so i really think you need to consider seriously all the risks involved, is it really worth it??
2007-11-30 07:49:45 · answer #8 · answered by eudilyte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to examine what you call your love for him. Be sure it is not just a sexual attraction. Back off for a while and then see how you feel. What is it that attracts you to him? Just be sure you are not creating something that will cause you and yours a lot of pain in the future
2007-11-30 07:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by boness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you Indian Muslim?im not being rude it just some Muslim girl are allowed to pick their own husband and love before married in other country that what i learn it from my Muslim friend in Indonesia/Malaysia.but if you are Indian Muslim,and from typical Muslim family try have private talk with your mother.try ask if you are allowed to get married with your cousin and is it okey for them?
but i knw its not good for your child future...they will get genetic problem.
2007-11-30 07:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by ~*♥my3rdeyes♥*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cousin that's not even legal in most state's.That's a no just leave that one alone.Find someone else here in the US that's not related to you.
2007-11-30 07:42:33 · answer #11 · answered by Lindsey Brown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋