Should I fire my nanny?

Question

Our nanny is a sweet older lady who has worked for us for almost 2 years. She has become almost like family. Unfortunately, over the last few months she seems like she has lost her ability to do her job. She leaves my son in dirty diapers, "forgets" to give him food sometimes, and pretty much just leaves him in front of the TV while she's here. I don't think she is lazy, she is just older, has health problems, and I don't think she is physically up to working anymore (though she says she's fine).

I think we need to let her go, but I feel bad because I do care about her, and she and my son are close. Also, is it terrible to let her go this close to the holidays?

Answer 1

I would hire a "nanny-helper" for her until after the holidays. She may just need a little help. This will give the new nanny time to get used to the child and make the trasition easier for the child. More than likely the current nanny will leave. But this way ou have time to train the new nanny and the current one will have a job through the holidays.

Answer 2

These things your nanny is doing and not doing are crucial to the positive development of your son, and it is important to find a new caregiver. I would have a sincere and thoughtful conversation with the nanny to talk with her about your concerns. Let her know that you do not want to end your relationship. Have her over for dinner regularly. Make sure that your son does other things to keep up contact with her. It is important to educate our children that older people are to be cherished and cared for, especially when they can no longer care for us. I would pay her for the rest of the month and two weeks in January, but I would hire someone else right away...especially if she is forgetting to feed your son. I would definitely make sure that she sees a doctor about this forgetfulness. It just might be that she, too, is tired and ready to stop being the nanny, but cares so much for your son that she does not want to be the one to throw in the towel.

Answer 3

If I were in that position, I would let her go, but "with conditions". I would let her go, give her a two week (or month, depending on your pay schedule with her) leaving package (so she has money to survive while she looks for something else), give her a good reference letter and I would allow her to continue to visit with the child after she is no longer working for you.

If it is her age and condition causing her issues, then it would be wrong to "punish" her for that, however, your child deserves and needs the very best care that is available. Small children need someone who can keep up with them.

I am a 36 year old nanny/babysitter (part time right now, due to my also being a full time university student) and it is vital for the nanny/caretaker to be active with the children, running with them, playing the games they want to, taking them to the park or even just the back yard. It is vital for children to have someone who can take care of them properly and promptly, and allowing a child to be in a messy or wet diaper is not taking care of them properly or promptly.

Like I said above, I suggest letting her go with the understandings that she can visit the child and family, and making sure she can pay her bills for the month that she leaves (that way she is not scrambling to figure out how to keep her electricity turned on). And although she is "slowing down", she seems to be a very kind, loving woman, and deserves to have high recommendations for future jobs.

Legally, you have no obligations and can just fire her immediately, but if she is as wonderful as it seems, then she deserves more than just being let go with no compensations-- morally, but not legally.

Good luck to you :-)

Answer 4

Well, honestly, that sounds a little bit like depression, which often leaves people exhausted. I would simply ask her to see a doctor and be very careful when you leave your son for long periods of time. You could also try to find someone who would be willing to replace her for a day or two a week, to give her a break. If that's not really what you want, then wait until she sees a doctor. If there's nothing seriously wrong, I would suggest trying to find a permanent replacement.

Answer 5

Your child is most important and if there were an 'accident' you would never forgive yourself. Tell her anything as an excuse ( a relative is coming to stay, you will be home now or any white lie to facilitate it and then give her 2 weeks pay to leave TOMORROW. Nothing is more important than the safety of your child. Do not let your emotions be involved even though it sounds like you are a most caring person

Answer 6

I don't think that you should let her go immediately:
First, make sure she knows your requirements for caring for your son. Make it perfectly clear that dirty diapers, no matter how forgetful she is are unacceptable. Say that if the situation doesn't improve, much as you love her you'll have to let her go because she is no longer physically able to care for your son. I would reccomend waiting until after the holidays if possible, and it'll b easier if she has family to help care for her...

Answer 7

Hey, don't feel bad. Take care of your priorities first...your son...and if she isn't doing her job...your son comes first, not your feelings for her. Those should come last! Give her a 14 day notice so she has time to find a new position. Let her know that you and your husband have decided to take another interest in your son's care during the day. Preschool and an exposure to other children his own age! She should understand!

Answer 8

If your mother left your son in dirty diapers, forgot to feed him or left him in front of the TV all day would you ask her to babysit again?
You need to let her go. Explain that you feel she needs medical help and that you need a different approach to child care now that he is a little older.

Answer 9

your son's safety is more important. your nanny maybe sweet, and just like a member of the family, but what if her inability to care for your son causes some serious issues? like him getting into something(chemicals, sharp objects, anything that will cause him to get seriously hurt. your son is number one, and can't be replaced. do what you already know what you have to. release her, and if you want give a nice severance package to get her through the holidays. you should never have doubts when it comes to the childcare given to your son.

Answer 10

I understand your attachment to her, as well as your son's. But your son comes first and foremost. If he is not being taken care of properly you need to step in and do something about it. Maybe you could sit down and explain your concerns to her, tell her what you're worried about. Then you could try giving her another week or so and see if anything changes. In that time you can also seek out someone new. Good luck.