I'm scared of telling my parents that I'm pregnant?

Question

I'm 20 and an adult already, but still, i'm the youngest in my family and my parents consider me a "little girl". Well I'm almost 23 wks preg and no one knows, except for 4 of my friends. I got preg from a guy I was just "getting with", who is and wont be supportive, and that no one knows him either; plus he's 11 yrs older than me. I'm in college and work part-time, but i'm still living with my parents and actually depend on them for almost everything. i always thought about having an abortion, but i knew that would be a stupid decision after all. I mean, all i have left to do is try to find a way and the right time to tell my parents about it, but its very awkward 'cause they probably think im still a virgin (my parents are mexican and very conservative). Im scared that they will find out themselves and be more mad at me, especially because i have been hiding my pregnancy but i won't be able to do that sooner or later. I also dont want to tell em anything about the father of the baby

Answer 1

well the first thing to keep in mind is your parents love you. They love you regardless of what you do...

You should just come out and tell them but also have a list prepared of how you will support the baby and raise the baby etc. Also, you would be entitled to child support from the father - regardless of the status of your getting together.

Be prepared for a lecture, suck it up and take your lecture... then do the best you can to take care of your new baby.

Answer 2

What part of the country do you live in? if you are mexican then you are probably Catholic too and you know that abortion is wrong. Having an abortion would haunt you the rest of your life and you can never take it back. By trying to run away from your problem, you'd be messing yourself up for a long time. So what are your options? Be an adult and deal with this for a few months or be messed up your whole life? I know a place in Ft Worth Texas that you can go and live there for FREE while you are pregnant, have the baby there and give it up for adoption. If you didn't want your parents to know, you could be "studying abroad" for a while and let people think you were an exchange student. Have the baby, go back to your life and everyone is happy. You'd know you did the right thing for you and the baby. And THAT is something to be PROUD of. The website is www.gladney.com click on the link that says "I'm Pregnant" and it will tell you what to do.

If I were you, I'd tell my parents and have them help me make the decision. They might be mad at first, but it sounds like you have great parents who are family oriented and love you unconditionally. Don't assume that they would be mad...they might surprise you.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

Answer 3

Im the same age as you and although i dont know exactly what you are going through no-one could but i do understand about relying on your parents and how they still see you as a little girl, but even if they are conservative you are still there daughter and i think you really need there support especailly if the father wont be invovled the longer you leave it the harder it will be, its always going to be a difficult thing to do but remeber you are an adult and although your choices may not be right in there eyes you have made them and now you have to live with them, i wont tell you what to do but if i was in your shoes i would sit down with them as soon as possible(dont what for the right time it will never come becasue it will always be scary) and explain everything asking for there respect as your daughter and an adult to sit and listen to you and give you the chance to explain whatever happens remember you have been honest even if it has taken a while but at least they wont find out from someone else that will be much worse as you have already identified yourself, i wish you the very best of luck x

Answer 4

Wow, that is difficult. Good for you for not having the abortion, at 23 weeks your baby is only 5 weeks away from being able to survive in an incubator, having one now would be pretty bad.

First of all do the responsible thing and start considering some options for day care right now if one of them does not stay at home. Second tell them. You don't mention if you are planning to keep the baby, if you are planning to continue with school and a few other questions. These are some things you might want to consider finding the answer for before you talk to them. The most important thing righ now though is you and the health of your baby. The sooner they know the sooner you can start acting like a responsible adult which it sounds like you are wanting to do. Stop being scared, the most they can do is kick you out, and I highly doubt they would do that if you tell them you are planning to take care of yourself and the baby or give it up for adoption which you don't mention. Good luck. You will feel better once you get this big load off your back.

Answer 5

What a painful place for you to be right now. So lets look at what we know:
You've obviously decided to keep the baby to term. The father does not want to be involved. Your parents are really conservative and you're quite young.
You've made your choice about the baby, so tell your parents and let them help you get the health care you need. Yes, they'll be pissed and you both will be embarrassed. So what your health and the health of the baby are of the utmost importance.
Your parents will come around, and get over the initial anger, remember that's not only your baby but their grandchild, so as upset as they are they'll want to help.
Just because you've decided not to abort doesn't mean you can't put the child up for adoption. There are so many good families that can't have children that you could be a blessing to them, and continue on with your studies afterwards. The child would have two parents, and the baby's biological father can curl up and die somewhere,(sorry my opinion) it might be the best option for everyone.
Get it over with, just tell your parents, sooner you tell them the sooner they can start getting used to the idea.

Answer 6

i got pregnant at 22 and i'm the youngest of 4 siblings. We are christians and believe in marrige first, and my moms not the easiest to tell things too either. however, I called my mom right away (i was happy) . I told her "i'm going to tell you something, and don't waste time being upset because its done, so nows the time to just be happy about it!" and surprisingly i didnt get the third degree. I mean really, whats left but to be happy and enjoy the pregnancy and you baby.. its done already! as for the unsupportive father... I would start getting your ducks in line about what you need to do to get child support from him. Dont let him off the hook by any means. the extra money will really help you in the long run, even if you are well off, or whill have other support. He made the baby too.. if he doesnt want to be there, he still is required to support the baby. good luck, i hope it goes well, let us know!

Edit: dont listen to these pro abortion selfish people, your baby will be the best thing in your life. also, if you want to switch it up a bit, get some sonogram photos and wrap it up as an early christmas gift, if thats easier for you than saying it. And it might put a positive spin on it.

Answer 7

Hey, you know what, I'm sure your parents would be happier with an addition to your family rather than stressing over whether or not to hide it or get an abortion. I'm pro choice, but after recently having a daughter of my own, I can't think of anything better than bring a child into this world. If you cannot take care of it, and your parents cannot help you take care of it, there are several other people in this world that would be more than happy to take care of your baby for you. As far as the father goes, if he doesn't want any part in the baby's life, then tell your parents it was a one night stand and move on from there. Good luck and take care!

Answer 8

There isn't a whole lot you can do but just get the guts and come out with it. Their reaction might be shocked and a little bit angry and there might be some family chaos.. but it will pass.

The only thing I can think of that might allow you to get around the drama, is to wait until you are at a holiday dinner, with a lot of family, stand up and make the announcement. Have a huge smile on your face, I would think they'd be happy for you, and your parents might be uncomfortable with lashing out in front of so many people.

Good luck...! I would LOVE to get pregnant, I'm 20 too.. but I know that financially this isn't the right time, if I had the money for a baby I'd be pregnant already!

Answer 9

Well, that is a scary situation you are in. I can definitely understand. My mother went through the same thing when she was pregnant with me. In my opinion, it would be best to tell them. Obviously you can't hide it forever, and I think we both agree that it would be better for them to hear it from you, then from someone else. Maybe they will be more supportive than you think, especially since you are their daughter and they will love you no matter what. Just remember that in the end, even if they do get raging mad, they will always forgive you. Remind them, if they do get angry, that you are very happy about having this baby, and could really use their love and support right now. Remind them that they will be this baby's grandparents, and they shouldn't say anything now that they will regret later. Let's not have another baby brought into the world with negativity.

Answer 10

I know you're scared. However, you're a big girl now and have to face big girl situations. It will be hard to tell your parents but in the grand scheme of things, that won't be anything compared to the difficulty of raising a child. Just brace yourself for tears, anger, and a lot of confused emotions from your parents. This will be like pulling off a Bandaid. Do it quickly. You're right. It will be really hard on everyone if they find out before you can tell them.

Before you tell them, though, you might want to think of a plan on how you're going to raise this child. Even if you can go to your parents and tell them that you've thought this through but you don't know how you're going to be able to do it, that will help them to understand that you have given this SOME thought.

Who the father is may or may not be an issue. If this guy isn't going to be a positive influence in your child's life, I wouldn't get him involved. You may want to get him to sign a waver giving up any rights to the child in the future. Or, you can get him to pay child support and be a supportive parent who doesn't happen to be married to you.

Remember, this will be difficult, but there is a positive. You will be blessed with a beautiful baby boy or girl. Once they hold him or her, your parents will wonder what the big deal was. They will love your child because he or she is part of you.

You need to go to your doctor or a prenatal clinic NOW so you can give your baby a good healthy start in life.

Good luck and congratulations :)

Answer 11

Coming from Mexican parents, I understand how you feel. I've never had to tell them something like this, well just that I wasn't a virgin at age 18, i'm 21 now. My mother was really supportive about it, I mean they came to the US at a very young age, and she really does not carry those Mexican tradition things. But my father was the one who didn't take it as i thought he would. He was more aggressive about the situation. Why don't you try talking to the parent who you feel more comfortable with and who you know will support you. Then maybe that parent can help you tell the other parent. They have to understand that people are not perfect and being young, you can make plenty of mistakes, but you learn from them. Don't worry everything will come out good. Good Luck!!!