How do you ask for money instead of presents at your wedding?

Question

My fiance and I will be living overseas and dont need traditional gifts. But we really could use cash! How can we politely ask the guests at our wedding to gift us cash instead of presents?

Answer 1

By word of mouth only. Also, do not register for anything, that will give your guests a hint.

Good luck

Answer 2

I know how you feel... i dont want a toaster, i prefer the $20 instead, lol... but if you feel shy and you dont want to tell people or put it in the invitation than say: "an American express or Visa gift card would be awesome!" Sooo they dont go giving you a home depot gift card when you obviously have no use for it... a visa or amex gift card can be used everywhere, and it's just like cash... so that's the nicest most politest way to ask for money, without actually mentioning money and you'll be able to pay for what you want.... and dont worry about not being able to find a $3 item bc you have $4.50 left on it, just tell the cashier that you're paying $4.50 on a card and the rest cash or whatever form of payment you have, i've ran into that problem sooooo many times.... good luck!

Answer 3

NOW - my comment goes against what just abotu everyone else has said. MAYBE we are just more laid back here in Aus>
I went to a wedding last year for which the invitation read someting like this;
"" as we have been living in sin,
we have everything , including the garbage bin,
so in place of a gift we would appreciate a contribution to our treasure chest."""
I cant remember the exact wording.
the couple then had a box decorated as a 'treasure chest' set to one side at the reception & guests just put envelopes in that.
Also when my daughter married she was in a similar position to you in that they were to be moving 1500k's away a couple fo months after the wedding. They chose to request that their quests pay for their own meal in lieu of gifts.
Their invites went ** we would like your presence to help celebrate our mariage , but instead of presents we would appreciate if you pay for your meal.** the reception was held at a restaurant & for only about 50 people.
of course if your invitations have already been sent then you will need to do as others suggested & get family to spread the word.
Other replies have indicated that it is rude to request monetary gifts , however , though that may have been the case in the past , I dont believe that it applies so much today. This is because so many have accumulated much of what they need before actually marrying , or , as in your case , are moving away from the area.
If some people would feel more comfortable giving you a gift - think of something - maybe luggage, good camera , that they could contribute to the cost of.

Answer 4

The only way you can tell people sort of gift you'd like is if they ask. So the question is "How do I get people to ask what sort of gift I'd like?"

Way back in the 1900s when KYT was a girl, this wasn't a problem. The Wedding Industry had not yet invented those costly (to print and put postage on) little RSVP cards. We did our RSVPing via telephone. This sensible arrangement allowed us to control our guest lists ("No, I'm sorry but there's been a misunderstanding. The invitation was intended for you and Fred. I'm afraid we won't be able to accommodate your children"), to give people driving directions, to outline how dressed up people will be getting, to tell them what to expect in the way of refreshments and entertainment, and so on.

But especially, we could count on every caller asking what sort of gift we'd like. If you do this, be prepared to say things like "You're kind to offer, but we can't really take much with us when we move to Bali, so we're trying to get rid of stuff, not get more." At that point, unless the invitee has yogurt for brains, he or she will ask if you prefer cash, check, or money order. If not, wait a few days and call back on some flimsey pretext -- they might ask then.

BTW, you don't have to make all these calls personally. In fact, some people consider it more gracious for friends and family members to make this call. Where you could never say such a thing, a groomsman or bridesmaid can be very frank and say "Really, the only gift they can use is cash because they're moving to Bali right after the wedding."

Answer 5

You NEVER ask for money instead of other types of gifts!!! It's up to the guests to decide what, if anything, they will give you. You could try not registering for gifts and hope some cash comes your way. Or *only if asked* by a guest, your mother or MOH can *hint* that you'd like cash by saying you're saying up for a down payment on a house or something else that's important.

Answer 6

I wouldn't put anything in a card or anything like that (don't do it in writing), but don't register for gifts, and tell the people closest to the two of you that you prefer cash ONLY because you'll be living overseas and don't want to try to ship gifts over after the wedding. Hopefully they will understand and spread the word themselves.

But don't be surprised if you still get some material gifts - just thank those who gave them and deal with the gifts the best you can.

Answer 7

Really there is no polite way of asking that. But believe me, the majority of the gifts will be money. I just got married earlier this month, and I'd say that 3/4 of the gifts were cash and checks. Try not registering for gifts as well. That may be a subtle way of receiving money as well. Just DO NOT put anything that refers to Money Preferred in ANY invitations!! That's a HUGE no-no.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

Register for Traveler's Cheques ;-)

OK, maybe not. I would ask your wedding party and family to let others know that you would prefer cash. When my sister was getting married people would constantly ask me what she wanted. I'd say "She's registered (at store), but I think they'd really like cash to pay off their bedroom set." When people heard what they specifically wanted to put the money towards it seemed to lighten the whole "they're just money grubbing" aura around it.

If you do get boxed gifts etc, keep the ones you feel you can easily transport. The rest try to return to the store you think it's from or sell it on ebay. Once it's given it's yours.

Answer 9

There's no way to politely ask that! I asked for no gifts of any kind at my wedding and I still got both merchandise and cash. I suppose you could ask for no gifts at all but have a money tree at your reception - have no clue how that would work out though.

Answer 10

Dont register, people will phone you or your parents and ask and then they can tell them that you want cash. Let it be known that you will be heading overseas and wont be able to take much with you. Sensible people will realise this and give money or gift cards.

Answer 11

You can't ask for gifts of any kind for a wedding. Word of mouth is the only real way to convey a message like that. I did it that way for my wedding and we received 3 actual gifts and the rest all came in as monetary gifts. Tell your parents to mention it when people ask what you need. It works better than you think!