I just found out my engagement ring is silver plated with CZ's. Nothing on it is real. How shoudl I take this?

Question

We've been together nearly 3 years. He makes about 50 grand a year, and so do I. We spend more on groceries every week than he spent on this ring. This is what he wants me to wear forever? It's already coroding and changing color 2 months after he proposed. Why would he do this? Does this mean it's not real to him, or am I just being superficial? Is this all I'm worth to him? Is it really possible he just doesn't get it? (He did get me a $5 wal-mart watch for our first valentie's day, and I wore it everyday because i loved him so much.)

He never told me whether it was real or fake, but he knows it's fake. He only paid $60, and that includes the wedding band (which he showed to me). It matches - silver plated with embedded emerald cut CZ's.

Answer 1

The problem with it is by the wedding its going to look horrible. I bought one of those for my little sister to see if she could keep track of a real diamond for her 13th birthday and within three months it was brown! And at the wedding they will be taking pics of your ring and you don't want it to be brown. Talk to him and explain all these things.

Answer 2

Tell him that you found out and confront him with it. I would be very very hurt, only because he kept it a secret and he didn't care whether you found out or not. Does he really love you like you love him? You have to ask yourself that question. It seems that you are marrying a cheapskate and you'd better be prepared for a frugal and cheap lifestyle. It is actually a sickness..he couldn't bring himself to buy you a white gold diamond engagement ring, and I must tell you that this is a prerequsite of things to come. To get a dollar out of this guy is going to be quite difficult all your married life so think about what will be your future. Remember you may take time off to have children and won't work, so then you will be beholding to him for money. If you feel it won't bother you, then marry him, if you feel you cannot live with a liar and a cheapskate, then give him back his phony silver plated CZ engagement ring and show him the door. You are worth more than that and let him know it too.

Answer 3

Sorry to say, but this is sounding like the guy is just plain old cheap. Nobody says you have to spend a fortune on a ring but a fake is pretty disappointing.

If his cheapness is in everything he does, you'll need to lead him by the hand and help him to know what is expected and approprate. He may well think that a symbol is a symbol and why spend 'good money' on 'just' a symbol. If he is loving and attentive and not stingy with his time and affection, the marriage could still be a success.

On the other hand, this could be a sign of the little value he places in your relationship. Look around. Does he spend lavishly on toys for himself? Fun car, cool computer and electronics, flashy or expensive clothes. If any of these things ring true, then he is just plain self-centered and probably not ready for a marriage.

Answer 4

I agree with the others. If he'd told you it was fake, or if you two had decided together to get a fake ring for whatever reason, that would be one thing...but you didn't. And what he did was not OK, period.

Should you dump him over it? Not necessarily. But this should be a serious talk between you two, and you deserve to know why he did this. He needs to understand why it was a deceitful and disrespectful thing to do and he needs to apologize.

If you talk through it and feel like you've resolved the situation, then you can move on with your relationship. But if he doesn't get it...you may have more problems down the line.

Don't just let this slide! We're not just talking about a ring -- we're talking about trust, honesty and respect. Fancy jewelry doesn't really matter, but those things definitely do!

Answer 5

Hey Girlfriend,

My engagement ring is a CZ from QVC, and while I love it, I'm looking forward to receiving the real thing, I knew the engagement ring was a CZ and it didnt matter, but he and I talked about it more and more, and we decided that we would purchase a nice wedding set for me, I'd like it to look much like the ring I'm wearing now, I found one at Zales for $1299.00 in their clearance section, its a full carat and its lovely.

I make a little more $ than he does so I'll be paying for my own ring that way I'm assured of getting what I want, I'll also be purchasing his ring too but not until much later on, were planning on getting married in 2009, we've also decided since I'll be shelling out some bucks for the rings he will pay for the wedding {were getting married in Vegas};.

But anyway enough about me, getting back to you, if you just found out that your ring is a fake then I say confront your hubby to be and see what he says, perhaps it is just a temporary ring, or perhaps he feels that you may be too shallow and this is a test {I meant nothing personal by that statement, I'm just grasping at straws here}; either way its better to get the issue out on the table and discussed than to grasp at straws....!

Good Luck

P.S.: Most on here would say it doesnt matter as long as you love the man and he loves you, material things are only and outward sign of your commitment ~ while that is true, I say hey every girl deserves DIAMONDS.....

Answer 6

Normally, I would say that the ring is just a thing and that being financially responsible is good...blah, blah, blah. But - Holy Crap! That's just pathetic!

There's "frugal" and then there's "cheap" - this guy sounds cheap. For people who are cheap, saving money isn't just a matter of practicality - it's an obsession. They'll go without things they need just to avoid having to spend money - I briefly dated someone who was like that, and he had some issues!

Your fiance probably isn't trying to rip you off; he's just obsessed with not spending money. So, in a sense, he probably doesn't "get it". He does not understand that some things are worth paying for, and that quality is important.

I *strongly* suggest that the two of you have serious conversations about how you plan to deal with money once you're married. This could be a real problem.

Then again, if you find out that he really did try to trick you into thinking the ring was real when he knew it was fake, ignore everything I said earlier and have a serious discussion with him about honesty.

Good grief!

Answer 7

Any other time I would say you were being a brat, but given all of the information I think I'd be pretty upset too. Perhaps he was jipped at the jewelry store? He paid full price for what he thought and/or was told was a platinum plated diamond engagement ring and they gave him the fake one? Maybe he just honestly didn't know about the 3 C's when he went to make his purchase? Maybe he was hoping you wouldn't notice and is saving up to give you a real one? Maybe, instead of flat out telling him, one day you could be sitting on the couch together and somehow get him to notice your green finger?

This one's a toughy. I'd wait a while before I said anything though.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I'd be pissed NOT because of being "materialistic" or whatever, but because you've been deceived.

He should have been up front when he got you the ring. He wasn't (and has a history of being cheap). A bridal set in an investment of a lifetime.

Personally, my fiance WANTS me to get a real diamond and I don't want one (for numerous reasons). If he bought me a ring to "trick" me though, then I'd be pissed.

$60 bucks for a ring isn't good quality. If he wanted to go the CZ route he should have checked a better stone (www.ziamonds.com is really nice).

I think you're justified in being pissed. Now what you can actually do about it, is nothing.

Good luck

Answer 9

I would be incredibly irritated. He tried to pass your ring off as a fake, it's not like he couldn't afford it, in which case if you don't have the money for a ring then you at least let the person know that it isn't real but you will get them a real one when you can afford it. You are not being superficial, you didn't say you needed a big expensive ring, you are upset because your ring was given to you as a fake and he lied about it. I would be upfront with him, tell him that you don't need anything extravagant but you don't appreciate a fake ring given as the real deal. There are great sites online that you can get very good deals on engagement rings. Talk to him bove all else.

Answer 10

The only way I would not be PO'd in that situation is if he is wanting to go shopping for the real ring, that was just a token for the proposal to be a surprise. I'm not saying you need a carat, just something real. I don't think you're being shallow, it's something you are going to wear for the rest of your life! It's sounds like you guys have some financial issues you need to work out BEFORE your wedding. It's time to start talking budgets.

Answer 11

I would be very pissed off if I was you. Just hope he didn't get screwed on ebay. Really you think this only happens in the movies. I think you need to ask him WTF is going on that he proposed with a cheap *** ring that isn't even real. Does he not know that in most cases the engagement ring is suppose to cost around three months wages or in his case around 4-5 grand. I would just ask him WHY?. See what his response is
becuase right now if I was you I would have his nuts in a vice and squeezing that is what he deserves for deceiving you like this.

You should have atleast known about the band right from the start every piece of real metal is stamped for verification be it gold, platinum, silver etc. And diamonds well reflect light CZ do not.