why do jews like bagels so much? don't you know bagels are bad for you?

Question

1- this is not "me" in the picture it is john belishi from the classic movie animal house. see it.

2- I don't capitalize "athiest" "christian" "muslim" or "jew" how is capitalization on the internet an issue of politeness.

3- after all the crap I've been giving muslims and christians recently it was time to bug the jews. I offend everyone equally but this is the best I could come up with.

unless of course you want to give me some good background info, but judism is rather boring as far as making fun of. It doesn't have pedophile prophets or suicide bombers that flip out over plush toys or nutjobs that throw religion and "anti abortion" in your face.

Answer 1

bagels are delicious!! I'm not Jewish, but come on, who doesn't love a good bagel with butter or cream cheese?

Answer 2

Bagels are great for two reasons:

1) stick some smoked salmon on them, and then with or without cream cheese you have a snack that is gorgeous

2) because bagels are quite firm, if you should happen to lob one at someone who is irritating you, it can be quite effective :)

REDISCA

As you know I always love your answers but unless I'm missing something, this post wasn't offensive.....? :)

Answer 3

Wow, we are so busted :( That's right, we eat bagels all the time, 3 times per day, nothing but bagels -- just like people of Italian descent eat nothing but pasta. Of course, on Passover we switch to matzoh made with fresh blood of murdered Christian babies, but apart from that week, it's bagels all the way, baby! Additionally, we all have hooked noses, roll our R's, and have sex through a hole in the sheet. Oh, and we control the media. And Hollywood. And the world.

As for bagels being "bad for you" -- they are bad for YOU, pal, and your imperfect human organism. Bagels are just fine for US. That's all part of our plan to control the world, see. From the fact that we operate the planet and the world events as we see fit, you should already realize that we are superhuman. This is expressed not only by our mental and organizational abilities to coordinate the actions of some 13 million (including infants) on a daily basis, but also in our basic physiology. Our bodies can handle carbs and transfats just fine, thank you very much. But those things are definitely bad for poor honest gentiles (small "g" to oblige you), and that's precisely the reason we have flooded the world market with our refined-flour, fat-laden baked goods. Right, Elder Mark?

Answer 4

Uh, Bluto, whatya drinkin' there in the pic? Can't be any worse than a bagel.... (Yogini takes a swig of ale and wishes she had an 'Everything Bagel' with cream cheese....mmmmm.....beer and bagels)

sorry, pictures are small so it's hard to tell from my laptop.....

Answer 5

Really? You asked a question and then answered your own question. So your intent was to have people agreeing with you so you can feel better about your bigotry. And here's a simple idea: Why don't you just not eat those things? Are you suggesting that no one should eat those things? And here's a question for you: Did Christians invent white bread and mayonnaise? Maybe that explains why they're so terrible. Seriously, white bread (also known as American balloon bread) and mayonnaise are the two worst products ever.

Answer 6

Bagels, schmagels; it's what's for breakfast!

Answer 7

Lots of people like bagels. However, I'm not one of them.

Answer 8

I'm not Jewish and I like bagels. Maybe that's just their main food product from wherever they came from. Like, in France, they eat a lot of cheese and wine.




And, having the "j" in Jew isn't because you need to be respectful. It is grammatically correct, because it's a religion, and technically an ethnic group.

Answer 9

What's wrong with a bagel? Aren't they boiled then baked. Donuts are much worse.

Answer 10

jews bagels bagels bad