women on here and showers...?

Question

why do women in this forum make it seem like even *wanting* a bridal shower is a really bad thing? almost every bride wants a shower...

my sister is my maid of honor and she has no clue what to do, she's only 21 and has never even been to a wedding before. so she asked me what her duties are and I told her what they are including the hosting the shower. so she hosted it and was totally happy to do so. i was a little more involved in the planning of my own shower than is "normal" by ettiquette standards, she didn't know my bridesmaids and felt stupid not knowing anything about weddings, so she asked me EVERYTHING.

i think if someone is your maid of honor and you can't say to them "i want a bridal shower" then maybe they shouldn't be your maid of honor...

I'm going to Vegas too for the bachelorette party...wooo hooo.

and i mean this all in the least bitchy way possible...not demanding at all. anyone who is demanding should eat their shirt.

i've already had my shower...i was just sharing my sentiments

Tiff Tiff,

yes i did want gifts, but not in the way that you made it sound.

my point is that if someone is your maid of honor, you shouldn't be afraid of saying "i would like a bridal shower". she's my sister, and asked what she is supposed to do and people like YOU make it sound like it's a horrible thing.

Answer 1

it is totally fine to say that you would like a bridal shower. it's not OK to say throw me a bridal shower.

let's face it, not everyone knows wedding traditions and customs and if your sisters needs a little help, there's no problem with that. now she knows.

i mean, she's your sister, if you can't say to her that you want a bridal shower, is your relationship really that good anyway? she would be the last person to judge you.

Answer 2

I am looking at having my second marriage (am a widow) and been questioning all the traditional elements of a wedding. I did not have a shower the first time 'round.

I have everything I want. I am not going to have a MOH or bride's maids. He and I are standing there with family and a few friends (looking at a small wedding of around 50 people).

Taking all that into consideration, I still want a wedding shower. I want the night out with the women in my family and having fun. Skip the presents, lets go out to dinner and do something together like a movie, bowling or mini golf.

While many are starting out and need a few things to start married life, it comes down to this: While getting gifts is nice, if you and your guy can't support yourselves then it is not time to get married. If the shower is just to see what you can get, shame on you. If the shower is to celebrate, more power to you!

Answer 3

Oh my, i totally understand where you are coming from. My maid of honor is 29 and has never been in a wedding. Most of our friends have eloped, no wedding no showers no bachlorette parties. My maid of honor asked me what her duties were I just told her i wanted her to help me decide on things that i could decide myself and just be there through the whole process. I bought her this little book that says what some of her duties are. I want a bridal shower, i think its just one of those things that come with getting married. I have never heard anyone in the 'real world' complain about a bride wanting a bridal shower. I have been to one before and it wasn't ALL about the gifts (although their were many). The women that were there were asked to write the bride-to-be pieces of advice and read one of them aloud to her. I think its was great idea. I totally agree with you!! Let's have our bridal showers and get married too!!! Congrats and good luck!

Answer 4

I want a bridal shower, but not like the ones you see on TV. I just want a bunch of the girls together, sippin cocktails... possibly bowling, or pool, or something where everyone isnt sitting around watchin me open gifts like a 10 year olds birthday party.

My sister will be my maid of honor. Shes not right in the head. Shes wild and crazy, and an amazing person to be around. I have total faith in her knowledge of what i like, and her ability to keep EVERYONE happy.

As for the women in this forum thinkin showers are bad, i dont think thats the case nessicarily. I think we've all just sat through more than our fair share of sittin and a georgous table with people you dont really know, playing really lame *** party games, and watching a grown women act like a 7year old at a Princess Party.

Answer 5

of course every girl wants a shower.. i dont think anyone on here is disputing that.. but first of all the thought to give you a shower should come from your maid of honor/bridesmaids.. you shouldnt have to tell them.. and im sorry but 21 years old is not too young to know that bridal showers exist and are a surprise.. so you didnt HAVE to tell her to host your shower.. she should have gotten that from someone else.. like your mom or something.. and she should have asked other people ALL the questions that she asked you.. you make her sound like a baby.. shes not.. she knows what the word "surprise" means.. seems to me that deal is you told her about the shower because you wanted to make sure that you had one.. my maid of honor is also my sister.. and she is 15.. she asked me what her duties were and i did not mention a shower at all.. however, she eventually found out that that was part of her duties and it was on november 4th.. of course i wanted a shower and pretty much thought i would get one, but i would never say anything to anyone throwing me a shower.. the reason they are supposed to be a surprise is because the ONLY reason for a shower is to get gifts.. the bachelorette party is for the girls to get together.. so why would you tell anyone to make sure you get gifts???

Answer 6

I don't have a problem if bride and maidens agree ahead of time about what the maidens are expected to do or buy. I DO have a problem with brides who, after dresses and shoes are bought and it's too late to back out, THEN tell the maidens that they are expected to do this and pay for that. NO FAIR. It's not the saying it, it's WHEN you say it.

BTW, there is nothing incorrect about the family or even the bride herself "helping" the hosts of her shower. By help, I mean making gifts of food, decorations, postage stamps, making suggestions for the guest list, rounding up extra tables & chairs, etc.

Answer 7

I had a shower for a friend whos fiance's family lived in a different state. I found that it was a nice way to get all the women of both families together so they could get to know each other a little bit better. Heck, the bride had only been around his family a handful of times. It's also nice to get the girls together, old and young. I've also never minded "having" to get one of my friends/family a shower gift. I normally enjoy it.

Answer 8

I do not want a bridal shower because I don't need a bridal shower - I have everything I could ever ask for by just being with my fiance.

I do, however, not care in the least if others want one, I'm entitled to my opinion, them to theirs.

I do take issue with brides demanding a shower (your situation being a different story).

Answer 9

A shower is a bid for presents and gifts pure and simple. It is not proper at all for the bride to "request" a shower nor is it right to pressure anyone to throw one for you. It is a gesture from those in your wedding party or even family. If no one wants to do this for you without you pulling strings and twisting arms, this says a lot about you and what people think about you.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with wanting a shower- but there is something wrong with expecting one, or thinking that you should be in charge of dictating all of the details. The bottom line is that it's something that other people choose to do for you, and its something to be grateful for- not something to complain about.

I have seen a lot of girls here complaining about the number of showers they are having, or the theme, or lack of a theme- the bottom line is be grateful that someone has gone to the trouble to buy you stuff, accept these gifts graciously, and remember that not everyone is as lucky as you.