sons girlfriend told me she hates me?

Question

my son was dating his gf for over 4 years, they had a baby 9 months ago, and i supported her mentaly through it all. to the end. son had some drug issue problems and i had tp get him in rehab , i been through alot with him he is one of those Intervention kids who rebels on the parents! son now moved out 2 weeks ago, his gf finally on msn got to me, with harsh words such as im a terrible mom, she always hated me and pretended to like me so she could come to my house, she dont need to come over now since son moved, i thnk this was her oppurtunity to be mean to me, also called me a hussy off the street lol. she hangs with a grown woman from work inher 40s who said to say that to me. i had been to hell and justc starting to come back , since son was 15 years old, he was a hand full. I guess she states im a horrible person. but really im not, but was frustrated from sons lifestyle and corruption of our home for 9 years . many arguemnts in the home

looking for advice how to handle it, she just clearly states she dont like my ways or personality.

Answer 1

it's a good thing we aren't here to win a popularity contest isn't it?

my son's girlfriend didn't particular like me either, because i am more liberal than she is, in a nutshell. i sensed it, she didn't have to let me know...

right now, you don't need to be worried about her (or ever, really).... i hope your son has straightened himself around... and i hope you have received the help you deserve for all you went through with your son, too. I know it's beyond difficult.

If he's an adult now, do not enable him to use, or use YOU...

Move on, and realize your daughter in law needs to grow up.

take care.

Answer 2

Handle what? What on earth do you care for the opinion of a sl*t of an unwed mother? If he's doing drugs, she probably is, too. You've done the best you can, and sometimes, you just have to step back and let kids screw up their lives, no matter how painful it may be to watch. This is one of those times.

If you wanted to be classy, the response would be: "I'm sorry you feel that way. You and my son have been through a lot of stress recently, so I'm hoping that what you said was because of that. Now that you are a parent, perhaps you will begin to understand the pain a parent goes through when they see their child making a mess of their life. Please know that I will always be here for you and my son and my grandchild whenever you need me."

And then just let it go and reclaim your own life. You've been worrying about your son for almost 10 years -- it's time to let go. He is 24 years old, and it's past time that he took responsibility for his own life. Don't worry, they'll be back when they need money. :-/

Answer 3

Keep Venting and get that stuff out, and off your chest, If you know in your heart that you have been right in your actions and you have done your best, that is all you need.
She may have been part of a problem by not being part of the solution...
People will eventually realise and come around.
have faith, be good to yourself . Enjoy life don't let things cause you to get down on yourself. and most of all leave the past behind, tomorrow is OUR future, What you do right now influences that. Send a reply with a Sorry ,and brief explanation of things , and get a conversation going that is not 'heated' Good luck

Answer 4

A lot of times, children complain about their parents to their spouse, and in many cases do not understand the parents reasoning for doing what ever they did. Surely, you can't be everyone's friend AND a good mother at the same time, despite what she thinks or what trash she is talking, she doesn't know the full situation between you and your son. I think you should tell her that she is going to have to go through similiar situations with her current child and that you know you've made mistakes in the past but it is not good to bite the hand that feeds, she will end up needing you later and it would be to her detriment. Talk to her in person, explain why what she is doing is wrong and try to find out why she feels that way, on the otherside of the coin, talk to your son and see if he has any bad sentiments for you, I know that that was the case with me, so hopefully this gives you a different angle to look at. Good luck!

Answer 5

Life is tough. Some people can handel it better then others. After reading your question carefully, here is my advise. I too am a man going through simular issues. My wife hates my familly as well. Women are catty and like to have the man for themselves. When they feel that they are sharing him with his mom. They feel a threat. Basically because they know they can't compete with the husband's mother. A Mothers love is genuine and unconditional. I for one separated whare neither know much about the other. And still that does'nt solve the problem 100%. Its tough on your son, the bad atmosphere and frustrations, hence he turns to alcohol or drugs as some sort of escape. Try to send your son messages without offending or contradicting his wife. Be wise and choose your words. And remember feelings are usually mutual. So try to find something that you do like about her and try to overlook the defects. And to do that, you must convince yourself that its for your son's wellbeing.
God Bless. "Live and forgive"

Answer 6

I've had the same problem with an uncle's wife. She did the same thing to my mom. We always knew she was sometimes snotty but we were all shocked when she said terrible things to my mom about me and my grandma. It was hard because I had really good memorys as a kid at her house. Now I think back and relize that was most likely an act then too. Anyways, we don't know why she treats us like that. We never did anything to her. It sounds like it's the same case with you. I don't really know what to tell you other then try not to let what she says get to you. When she gets mad like that on IM or email, just try not to continue the argument. It seemed to help slightly in my case. I hope I helped a little.

Answer 7

I would brush my self off and go on my merry way.She is just a Ugly,Mean,Nasty b*tch and you sound as if you are a good parent to tuff it out with your son.I hope She reads my comment and feel what I say deep in her Dead Heart is the Truth. She is the one who seems like a Hussy off the street,and as for the B*tch at her work tell her your sons gf already has a street corner ,she needs to find a different corner to find her next john.lol lol I hope you sweety have the last laugh,...on her lol lol lol Have a Great Life & Day.

Answer 8

Not to worry as she is angry at present but hopefully cooler heads will prevail and things will get more normal as your grandchild ages. Not only your grandchild but also your son and his girlfriend, as it sounds like they are not that mature either. Believe that things will be alright in the end and hopefully they will turn around and once again realize you are a lot nicer then she claims at present. Besides, who is to say that they will remain together forever and she may be out of your life sooner than expected. Best of luck.

Answer 9

Do not respond to email, not be email or verbally. Just ignore. Separate yourself from son & his girlfriend & baby for just now - no assistance, no communication. He will break up with her - there is no way in the world the relationship will last. So she just doesn't matter to you.

You'll get your son back - he needs to still grow up some. No more bailing him out of any trouble! He must learn to deal with the consequences of his own actions. He is no longer a baby, he now has baby, so he must become a man. He can't do that with you helping him out all the time.

Answer 10

What can you do? You can't make someone like you. I'd just tell her that you are sorry she feels that way and you don't know what you did to make her think so poorly of you. It's her loss not yours.
Also, if your son's behavior holds true he is going to mess up and then she'll need you again. When this happens, you need to really think if you want her back in your life.
The only other thing I can think of, is who knows what your son's version of events has been and what he has told her about you. Drug addicts seldom ever take responsibility for their own behavior and action and blame in on others. Probably you.