My fiance' and I are both Catholic. I became Catholic last Easter and began working on an annulment as soon as I was confirmed. I had a very awful marriage when I was 19 to an athiest and have been divorced for 10 years. We both wanted very much to be married in the church, but because my ex has gotten to the venue changed to a diocees that is understaffed we have decided (with the input of our priest) that we are going to go ahead and have a civil ceremony. We have also decided because of our ages, 33 and 36 that we want to begin our family right away. The trouble is I want to have a wedding and once the annulment comes through I want to have a small Catholic Mass, he on the other hand wants the oposite a small civil ceremony and a large Catholic Mass after the annulment. I didn't have a wedding when I was younger and I want to have a celebration of our love that everyone can attend, all of our family and friends, nothing over the top but a wedding none the less.
2007-11-30 05:20:52 · 11 answers · asked by L H 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
and when the annulment comes through I don't want to be planning a "vowel renewal" because that is technically what it would be. To top it off if we do have children right away I don't want the public celebration of our love to include my mother holding our baby. I've just come alone way and I know it can't be perfect but I would like it to be closer than it would in a jop's office. Is that wrong of me?
2007-11-30 05:22:50 · update #1
my fiance and my ex are not the same man.
2007-11-30 05:30:22 · update #2
I have been divorced (which is a civil issue) from my exhusband for 10 years, but according to my doceesse (the head of the church in my area) I must still go through annulment proceedings before I can be married within the church. All unions, civil or religious must be judged as to weither or not it was a propper marriage through the eyes of the church. If the intent was to live under Gods law as husband and wife to raise a family etc etc a civil union can be found to be ruled valid.
2007-11-30 05:34:40 · update #3
No, it's not wrong of you. It just may not be very realistic. The important thing is that you are marrying someone you love. Each of you sit down and write out all the reasons that you want to do it your way and how important each thing is to you. Then switch lists and find a way to compromise. It will be good practice for the marriage.
2007-11-30 05:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you were not Catholic then you can marry in the Catholic Church now, if the priest you are talking with does not accept it you can go to any other priest.
My fiance is divorced and for me is my first wedding, what we are going to do is Have a New Family Blessing, wich a Catholic Priest must give to... I mean if the bless cars and dogs, why not a new family... So I'll be wearing my Bride's Dress and he will be standing in front of Church, we wont have vowls, but yet we will have a great Ceremony beacuse his Older brother will say some words and my Dad others, also the rest of the family will give us their blessings. Then we will have a BIG party. The civil ceremony will be a small one. Wht I really want is to have my closest relatives blessing us.
2007-11-30 05:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Marquel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's just take one thing at a time. Contact your bishop, even your cardinal - with your priest's help of course - to see if the understaffed diocese can put a rush order on the annulment.
It's hard enough to get people to attend church - let alone get married in the church. So I don't think that's asking too much. Again, it may take special dispensation - but I think your priest needs to take a more active role in pushing the annulment through.
After that - I think a lot of other issues will be settled -
Good luck and God bless.
2007-11-30 06:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. I'm confused as to why you need an annulment, since you weren't Catholic when you got married the first time. You should be able to get a letter of improper form, which only takes about three weeks. How are you going to be questioned by the tribunal when you weren't even married as a Catholic the first time? Doesn't make any sense to me.
2007-11-30 05:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I almost got caught in this nonsense when I dated a Catholic guy after my divorce. In order to marry him, I was going to have to have my previous marriage annulled even though neither I nor my ex was Catholic and I did not intend to become one and even though I'd had kids with my first husband. Craziness! I'm glad I didn't buy into it and moved on.
Regarding your question, though, NO, you are NOT wrong to want a wedding ceremony, and I think it's just bizarre that you have to go through this foolishness. Does anyone think that this silliness is of God? Heck no!!!!
2007-12-01 09:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you would need an annulment if you were never married before in a Catholic church (you said it was a civil union). I would talk to another preist and/or bishop because most (as far as I've heard) wouldn't even considered you married before since neither of you married within the Catholic church and its rites...not to mention that if you do have children right away and haven't been married in the "church" your children would be considered...yes, even in this day and time...as bastards.
Talk to your preist or the preist of another parish and see if you can't go ahead and have one intimate Mass wedding with your family and friends as soon as arrangements can be finalized.
2007-11-30 06:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
God will be with you no matter where you marry. God sent his son to die for the mistakes you made. You are forgiven by God for your divorce and I personally think the Catholic annulment thing is stupid. Who are they to forgive your divorce. Jesus' blood has already covered that. You and your former husband were unequally yoked. You made a dang mistake in your life and I'm sorry to insult your faith but this is a big reason why I left the Catholic Church. You are to confess your sins to God not man. Sure you can ask man for forgiveness if you sinned against them but ultimately God is the one who you need forgiveness from. I will repeat myself...God will be with you on your wedding day...you can have a wedding that will be Godly in many churches. Unfortunately the Catholic Church wants to control your life before you can be married. I do apologize if I have offended you because it is not my intention what so ever. Making the commitment and showing your love for your new husband is that matters most.
2007-11-30 06:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK life is short so go for it. do what you like is right as for a wedding with your mom holding your baby well what says I LOVE YOU if not ones child? I am getting married in 2009 and both my kids will be there and are supper happy. so don't let that hold you back. Make your dreams come true it sounds like you have a great guy who love you so let him pamper you all the way....
I do have one ? for you if you have been divorced for 10 years haw are you getting a annulment?
2007-11-30 05:30:54 · answer #8 · answered by crissypeach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait til the annulment goes through, have a Catholic wedding, THEN start your family.
2007-11-30 23:37:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be able to find a priest that won't make you jump through a ton of hoops like that and "need" an annulment (I mean you've been divorced for TEN years!!! You don't NEED an annulment).
2007-11-30 14:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋