My parents just told me I am adopted what do I do now?

Answer 1

Pack your bags and run away to a far far country.

Answer 2

I know that right now you are feeling pretty confused but the truth is that in most ways that matter your life is no different. Just because you are adopted does not change the fact that your parents love you, have cared for you and have raised you as their own. It doesn't change that they still love and care for you. It doesn't change any of your memories.

Being adopted is special. People get pregnant all the time that didn't plan a baby, aren't ready for a baby or didn't want a baby. Your parents planned for you, wanted you, picked you out..., They helped not just you out but your birth mother as well.

Talk with your parents and let them help you through this difficult time.

Answer 3

I am the adoptive mother of five children, adopted from birth. None of them feel the urge to get in touch with the people who gave them up for adoption.

Sadly. I feel that your parents decided to not tell you from the beginning, that you were adopted, and that it is why it is such a shock to you. I shared that with all my children right from the time they could talk.

May I ask you, why do you feel the necessity to do anything?
The only reason I could possibly think of is if you had a really bad life up until now. Otherwise, if you received the love of special parents, why do you feel it important to do anything but be very thankful that you have a loving family.

Blood ties, are not what make for a happy childhood. Look at all the questions and answers from children on Answers, where they are confused, unhappy, abused, literally got rid of, and treated as if they were unloved and in the way.

I loved my children from the moment I picked them up in my arms,. 7 days old. They were and still are, the most important part of my life.

Unless you have had a very unhappy childhood, you have to make the choice as to whether to do "something" or not.

The only challenge I see here, is that they chose not to tell you earlier on.

Answer 4

Look in the Category "Pregnancy and Parenting" Then click on "Adoption." Lots of talk going on there.

Read some books about adoption. (Some books are good, some are trash...but you decide.) Educate yourself about the issues before you make up your mind about anything. It is a complex, multi-layered issue; but it does not have to be complicated.

Ask your a-parents what they know. Tell them you want to know everything that they know. I would tell them that this is their chance to come completely clean about the whole thing. If you find out in the future they held back information now, you will be angry (don't say this if it isn't true). Ask them why they didn't tell you before...and be willing to listen to the answer. (I bet they were scared or just didn't know how to tell you.)

Love is so much more than shared genes!

Answer 5

Just take some time and think about how you feel about it. You'll probably have a lot of questions. You'll probably wonder why your birth mother put you up for adoption, what would your family have been like, etc. You may feel guilty about wondering because your adoptive family has been all you know.

After you give yourself a little time to decide how you feel about things, talk to your parents and ask them whatever questions you have. They're probably nervous about how you may react and I'm sure they're waiting for you to ask. Be open with them and ask them to be open with you. You may feel like they've been lying to you but keep in mind, they may have been waiting for the right time to tell you so you would understand.

Whatever you're feeling, express it freely. Help yourself and help them help you by being open wih them. The great thing about being adopted is that you know you were wanted. You know you have parents who went out of their way to find you and to pick you. They love you and they will do whatever it takes to help you feel comfortable with what you just found out. Just give it some time. Once you get used to the idea you may find that nothing has changed at all.

Answer 6

That wouldn't be easy to hear for anyone. But you are hurt, so that means that you love your parents. Since you love them, be grateful that they brought you into their home and raised you as their own. No one has to adopt a child. They do it because they want to. They wanted you, so continue to feel loved. Actually you should feel even more loved then if you weren't adopted because they chose you. When you have children, you don't get to choose. Do not let effect how you look at your parents, they have given you so much. Do not make them pay for your birth parent's decisions.

Answer 7

Nothing - for the moment, just get used to the idea. Your adoptive parents will always be your Mum & Dad, they are the ones who have loved and raised you. You're special, you were chosen, they didn't have to make the best of what they got. In time you may want to try and contact your birth parents, but remember they may not have a place for you in their lives.

Answer 8

Wow.

Well, they had to tell you eventually, so give them credit for being honest with you. Remember that they love you and that they CHOSE you!

I can imagine that you're having all kinds of turmoil now about your identity. You may talk this out with a trusted adult friend or relative or with a guidance counselor or other counselor. You need to sort out all your emotions with someone who can help guide you through them.

You might also join a group--in "real life" or on the internet--of adoptees, and share your experiences. You might also search out the history of famous adoptees. (Nicole Richie is one.)

If you eventually want to find your birth parents, there are organizations, and "clearing houses" on the internet. Remember that your birth parents, whether you find them or not, are not the ones who've raise you and loved you all these years (though they may have loved you from afar)--your adoptive parents did that!

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 9

Thank them! I too was adopted, but I have always known. I am so thankful, my parents gave me so much. I am not talking about material things, I am speaking about love, guidance, and understanding. I am one of 4 children, all adopted. I remember my Mom telling me once,"Maybe you didn't grown under my heart like other kids, but you grew in my heart, and that makes you oh so special." If you have questions, ask them, they will answer as many as they can. Just thank them. They went through alot to get you and you gave them so much in return. Remember, they love you. Don't do anything rash, or anything that may hurt them, think things over. Before you make any life changing decisions.

Answer 10

What should you do? Your parents are still your parents - so there isn't anything for you to do. Once you are 18 you can try looking for your biological family if you want to. When you go to the doctor - you'll have to tell him/her that you don't have a family history because you were adopted.

Answer 11

Find out if they know about your background? Ask them anything you want about your adoption. They obviously had specific timing to let you know, I'm sure that their intentions weren't to hurt you. It's your decision what you choose to do with the information they provide. I didn't find out that I was adopted by my father until the age of 18..... because of the circumstances, that left my mother, without my birth dad, I personally chose not to find him. As you can see, I still call my father, father and nothing will change that for me. You will probably have mixed emotions as I did, but in time everything will work out.