When its time how do you combine your stuff?

Question

This is the thing I live at home with my parents and my fiancee lives at home with his mom. I have things I want to bring over to our new place and he does too but like every women we have a certain style and taste on what we want. My fiancee like old stuff and I dont and everytime were at the store i see something i like and he says to me that he has that already, but I want new stuff not his moms stuff or hand me downs. I dont know maybe its just me i think im just stressed out but we get into arguements about it and I try to control myself. There are just stuff that I want new. I just don't know what to do!

I don't mind the hand me downs we are going to use the living room set he has but gosh he wants to use everything that he has and I want something new. and by the way eliminating items he doesnt wants to throw anything away he saves everything and I'm not a clutter bug I just hate it!

Answer 1

Don't argue about it it's just stuff! :)

Go check out the things he wants to bring over and see if you can live with it long enough for you to find stuff together that you both like.

Compromise, do a little of this and a little of that!

Arguing about things is just stressful and ya'll don't need that stress so just sit down and figure out how you want to go about it with him and then come to a balanced deal. Everyone needs to be happy! :)

Answer 2

Don't try to buy all new things right away. Furniture - even moderately-priced furniture - is really expensive. Besides, you're probably already strapped for cash because of wedding-related expenses.

Happily accept hand-me-downs that are in good condition, and use them until you can afford to replace them. I furnished my first apartment with hand-me-downs. It was a dumpy little graduate student apartment, but I loved it. Those hand-me-downs served me quite well and saved me a ton of money. I used those things for several years, until I moved into my fiance's house a few months ago. I still have a few!

The way we combined our stuff: Well, we're both in our 30's and each had fully-furnished places, so we had the problem of too much stuff. We went through our things and of the items we had two of, we kept the nicer one and either sold or donated the other. We each picked a few things that we were definitely keeping (i.e. my piano, his bedroom suit, etc), and then donated or sold everything else that we didn't have room for. The only new thing I bought was a computer desk. Mine was old, crappy, and falling apart.

Don't get into arguments about Stuff. It's really not that important - it definitely not worth stressing over. After you've worked and had a chance to save money, then you can start replacing the hand-me-downs one item at a time. No one starts off with their dream home! :-)

Answer 3

If you know it or not this is a big red flag in the compatibility department. He is not gonna change dear so unless you like the second hand Rose look in decor you had either talk it out with him and reach an aggreement or you need to find someone more to your way of thinking.

Most young couples start out with old borrowed, found handed down stuff because most do not have a lot of money. As you grow and time passes and you make mor money you can start getting all new stuff. My husband slept on a mattress on the floor and had stuffed card board boxes for furniture for the first months of our marriage. Now we have a nice house with lots of new stuff.

Your problem is not with the old vs new stuff issue is is with your very different outlooks on redecorating, spending money and life. Take a good hard look before you leap cause the water ain/t gonna change cause you want it to

Answer 4

This is pretty much part of the compromising both of you need to learn to do. I think it's best to start out with what the two of you have together, whether it's old or not. You two will have enough expenses with paying for the wedding - you don't need to be stuck with furniture bills right away! Then, slowly as you are earning and saving money, you'll see what each of your wants and needs are, and go on from there.

Answer 5

Compromise is key to any relationship, especially marraige. I would suggest you guys get all your stuff together and let eachother know how you feel about it, what goes together well and what clashes, etc. Then make up a list of items you both can agree on buying new, and stick to the list. That way your new place will have some of your stuff, some of his, and stuff you got together that you both like. ou can always update things later on, one bit at a time, so take baby steps here.

Answer 6

well you can't everything brand new right away. you can get new stuff slowly.

right now we are living with living room tables that I had when I was 8 years old in my parents home, furniture that my mom gave us from when I was in high school, a dining room table his mom bought for us from an estate sale, TV and media stand from college (crappy), desks from college.

The only new things that we have are barstools, a bed and bedroom furniture and a kitchen cart.

for now, just make sure you have what you need between the two of you and in a few months, you can start looking for new stuff. just be happy that you're moving in together!!!

Answer 7

Buy as few things new as possible FOR NOW.. in the future people will give you presents for - housewarming, engagement, wedding, shower..

go register with your man and remind him that if you don't ask people for a new version of something practical that you can use (microwave, toaster, sheets, towels etc) you will end up with 5 sets of corning wear and a ton of lenox that people will expect to see displayed when they visit.. then 2-3 years from now you will get stuck buying a new toaster with your own money..

Answer 8

Make a list of what you both think you need. Then check off things you have. If you both have one, note that. You will need to decide which one you are going to keep. You'll have to compromise, you can't just make him throw away all of his stuff (even though, believe me, I know some of it will be awful). Compromise where you can. Just remember that unless you have funds to get all new stuff immediately, you will need to deal with having things that aren't necessarily what you want for a while until you can replace them

Answer 9

you can blow though your money really fast buying all new stuff.
I agree with the previous poster. Make a list of everything you need, then cross off everything you already have, then see what you can get for free from friends, relative, and neighbors who have stuff they want to unload, and then buy what you really need.

Keep reminding yourself that the hand-me-downs are temporary, only for a year or two while you get settled and save up for something new that's really cool.

Answer 10

Of course you want all-new things for your new life. This may be very important to you - it was to me - but save your money and buy a house, instead. Go slowly with buying new things; it's all part of the fun of picking things out, and your taste may change in the next few years.
As for him - don't worry, he'll either get tired of it, or you'll have to learn to combine styles. If he likes traditional furnishings, and you prefer modern, you can always get something a bit traditional but with clean lines and simple colours.