I have been seeing a guy for nearly 6 months. ts a long distance thing and nearly always hasn't got the travel fare. He works and told me he has cash flow problems. I beleive him but somehow I think I am being stupid. He's never paid me back but is always sweet and loving when he does come to me, like he's so glad to see me when he arrives. I've been in similar situation myself at times so I tend to beleive him, but does this seem odd or what? Sometimes I just don't have the money but somehow I always find it. Why can't he? I have tried talking to him about it but it embaresses him I think, so I just leave it. But surely if he is working he should have some cash to pay to come and see me?
2007-11-30 04:23:49 · 10 answers · asked by dunwerse 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have just told him I have cash flow problems too... am waiting to see what happens. I feel bad but perhaps its wake up time.
2007-11-30 04:47:15 · update #1
Outcome? ...No visit... sad no? Still, am off Toronto soon for a month for Xmas, so we'll have time to think and perhaps decide and re-structure and get things straight. Or not at all....thanks for your perspectives.
2007-11-30 23:56:19 · update #2
Hello luvbegonias,
I am sorry to say this but I feel that this person is a bit of a cheapskate.
If he is working and he knows he wants to come visit you, why can't he make sure he saves enough to be able to do so?
I'd like to know what he is doing with his money.
You are effectively paying for his company. If he thought anything of you he would not expect you to fork out every-time he wants to come and see you.
I know you have been seeing each other for the last 6 months but I feel your relationship will not last another 6.
You say he is embarrassed when you mention it. So he should be. I can certainly accept that there may be the odd occasion he wants to visit you and just does not have the money to get to you, but not nearly every time.
I would want to test out just how much he cares for you by paying for him to visit one more time and then tell him know that you can't afford to keep forking out money either and that he must save some cash back as you can't afford to do it anymore.
If he cares enough he will find the money and if he does not care enough, although it will hurt you, at least you will know how deep, or shallow, his feelings for you are.
Good luck and I hope things do work out for you both and he does start 'paying his way' more.
Poseidon
2007-11-30 04:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by Poseidon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being taken for a ride here; he is working and has no money to visit you? Well, what is he spending the money on then? Do you go out when he visits, and if so, who pays?
Sorry, but I don't like the sound of this. I would be embarrassed to let anyone pay my fare on such a regular basis. Time to test the water. Next time he hasn't got the fare....don't offer, just wait it out and see what happens. Bet you don't see him again.
2007-11-30 04:30:34 · answer #2 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, big-time red alert honey! I'm glad you told him you have cash flow problems too. Once you don't pay, you will find out whether or not it's the real thing. You don't say whether you ever go see him? The ideal thing would be that you trade off on who goes to see whom so that the money is equally paid out.
2007-11-30 04:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by legalchick791 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He very well may have financial problems but you aren't rich either. In my book, if he doesn't have his share then he doesn't get to come.
Like you say, you find a way so should he. Next time tell him flatly that you don't have the money and see what happens.
It may just mean less frequent visits. You may also want to rethink this relationship. A long distance relationship is hard enough but trying to have someone who doesn't have the means to come see you makes it almost impossible and a burden.
2007-11-30 04:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would really show how much he loves you or is interested in you if he would come and see you for once. and if he has a job he should for sure be able to scratch something up to come visit you. don't be afraid to talk about it. if this is someone you are going to look to have a future with then you should talk about it. Communication! and you should find out what his "cash flow problems" are... : )
2007-11-30 04:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Christy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am quite sure that you can find a male companion that is local. If this guy really care about you he will pay his own way. When he gets there, does he buy you dinner or even pay for a movie? You have allowed him to treat you this way. You need to immediately put a stop to this. This is not a healthy relationship.
2007-11-30 04:35:56 · answer #6 · answered by Cherri 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you, he doesn't want to talk about it because he's happy for you to pay, i'm sorry but it sounds like you're being used. my advice is say you have cash flow problems too, then you will find out just how committed he is. you deserve better than this, good luck
2007-11-30 04:40:02 · answer #7 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it time to move on. when train fares become a issue. but as he got cash flow problems. he working. and no money. sounds strange.
2007-11-30 05:23:50 · answer #8 · answered by willy wom bat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your being taken for a ride lady,he's nothing short of a bum,scum bags like that dont deserve nice girls like you.
get rid of him quickly
2007-11-30 04:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by josephrob2003 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's taking a lend of you ,get rid ,youl be better of without him, if he thinks anything of you he'd pay his own way ,end of story;;
2007-11-30 04:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋