how to help my brother?

Question

My brother (28) meet this girl about a year ago , they got engaged and bacame pregant , she told him she lost the baby and it wa shis fault, he left her and then got back with her a wek later, she then told him she had abortion, he then left her again ,but again went back with her, then she kicked him out and then again he is now back with her. I dont like his g/f she keeps on going back and fourth with my brother and her ex , she also has a 3 year old that is also caught in the middle, my brother is depressed and i want the best for him and i feel that he needs to leave her for good , i tried talking to him but he just wnt listen to me or any of our family. what can i do to help him he is my brother and also my best friend

Answer 1

Get him some books or articles on co-dependency. Find some really hot available girls on Match.com or other matchmaking websites and tell him he is missing out on other girls who don't have kids, don't like and won't dump him like yesterday's garbage. Also, tell him if he keeps wasting his time with this particular girl, that he may be missing out on Miss Right.

Tell him that the WORST thing he could do is end up having a baby with this girl and give him a box of condoms.

Answer 2

Ok, you've already tried, and he won't listen. What I would do, is sit with him, ask him to listen to everything you are saying, and when you are done you will support any decision he makes completely. Tell him exactly how you are feeling and why, tell him what you are seeing that makes you feel that way. When you have said it all (without bashing the GF) tell him that you love him and stand by him no matter what.

He'll probably go a few more rounds of back and forth with this girl before he actually leaves her, but he'll have everything you said to him in the back of his head. Hopefully it will help him to see that this girl is a disaster and toxic for him before anything happens.

Also, tell him to use protection, cause he certainly doesn't want to stuck with that nutcase for the rest of his life, that's for dam sure.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It's cool that you care that much for your bro. My big sister is the same way towards me, she was almost like a second mom. Now I didn't go through that bad a relationship, but I did go through something pretty nasty that my sister repeatedly tried to tell me to end. I don't think there is a single thing she could have done or said to make me wake up to how bad the relationship was for me. Eventually I figured it out on my own, and that's what your brother needs to do. What you can do in the meanwhile is to support him emotionally when he needs it, consistently tell him how you feel, but not insesintly. Don't nag him about it, just show that your opinion doesn't change. When he does come to his senses he will need help justifying it, so a person that agrees with his decision will be welcome. Hope everything works out.

Answer 4

Wow, that's tough specially if he doesn't listen to anyone.
Truthfully the best thing and only thing you could do if you want to not lose your brother is be there for him, cause you know if they get back together she'll do it all over again. Don't worry he'll realize it sooner or later, and he'll thank you about it (if you've been by him the whole time).
If it was my brother i'd video tape his misery and when they get back together i'd replay it for him so that he could see how she made him feel.
but that's because that's how my brother would understand it.
Good luck and remember to be there for me, he's going to need you.

Answer 5

Tell him this woman is a crackpot and he can do better. He doesn't need to be with someone that keeps putting him through the emotional wringer every other month just because she doesn't know what she wants. Sometimes you just have to say goodbye, with smile and move on.

Answer 6

sad but he will have to learn the hard way,he dosent want any advise,so just be there for him