I would like to write him a goodbye letter telling him that if he ever changes his mind i would welcome him back into my life...I need some help writting him a letter...Ideas?
2007-11-30 01:51:50 · 8 answers · asked by raquel e 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i have 2 month old twins
2007-11-30 01:57:23 · update #1
dad doesnt live with mom
2007-11-30 01:58:37 · update #2
So, you know he has mental problems. If you know this - then why do you take what he says so personally. If he had tourette's syndrome - would you take offense if he said "f&*( you!" No - because you would know it is the mental illness talking and not him.
Don't take what he says so seriously. You have to adjust to having a father who is mentally ill. Just keep writing him and send him birthday cards - tell him what is going on in your life - send him pics of the twins and always tell him you love him.
Don't argue with him about what he has said, etc... You are just wasting time by arguing with a mental illness.
2007-11-30 02:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meditate on your feelings then dig deep down and write everything you can think of. Do not leave any stone unturned, be as honest as possible.
Write the points down that you want to make.
Then compose your letter - BUT never give it to him.
Put it aside and ask yourself how much you become like him when you try to 'hurt' him by telling him the 'truth.'
Once you have answered this question, you can then invest some energy into thinking of ways to reconcile to your father.
Bi-polar or not (we are all born bi-polar, but most learn some form of balance) you need to realize that cutting yourself off solves no problems.
Drift away for a while until you feel strong enough to talk to him 'man to man.'
There is a simple principle at work in life, miserable people want others to be miserable, happy people want others to be happy.
Your father is hurting, and he has said and done some hurtful things, but you are not bi-polar so why should you behave as though you were?
Write the letter, then read it to yourself, then find ways to resolve each of the issues, you will thank yourself in the long run that you did.
2007-11-30 10:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by the_metaphysician2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put down everything he's done and every way he's hurt you. Then tear it up and set yourself free.
No letter, nothing, nada, zilch will accomplish what it is that you want to accomplish. What you want is for daddy to suddenly awaken and realize what he's done and come back to you and apologize. Won't happen. Toxic people, for whatever excuse they have, are simply toxic people. Just because someone can reproduce does not mean they are capable of being a parent. Your dad is obviously one of those. You are applying magical thinking to someone who will never feel anything but justified in his behavior because in his mind he cannot ever be wrong or at fault.
Spend your energy on getting free. Get counseling if you need it, realize that you can be a real parent and raise someone who would never have the need to write this kind of letter.
You are a good person despite your father. Live a good life, and love unconditionally. Its his loss.
2007-11-30 10:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the bi-polar disorder the reason for the insults? If it is, I would urge you not to write such a letter--merely keep your distance. If the disorder is not the cause, write a letter along the following lines: 1) state your unwillingness to continue the relationship as it stands now; 2) give several examples of the most hurtful insults; 3) inform him that, if he mends his ways, he will be welcomed back.
TIPS: Do not use curse words or language that is likely to arouse his anger--you're not trying to give him the written equivalent of the finger. Finally be brief. Oh yes, keep a copy of your letter for your own future reference.
PS It is premature to forgive someone who continues to offend you; first comes remorse, then comes change, then comes forgiveness.
2007-11-30 10:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Signor Spaghetti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send a letter - putting something into writing for someone that is mentally ill is not a good idea. They will have something more to focus on and you don't need that.
Let it go, bipolar disorder is a horrible thing to deal with. I am sorry for you. My ex-husband is bipolar, this showed up after he divorced me. I was so horrified to be divorced (I had this married until death belief) but after he became bipolar, I realized what a blessing he had given me, because I would have stayed married to him forever and taken care of him because that is what I believed in.
Just realize that his reactions are not your fault. Many parents become angry because of choices their children make. Most parents react appropriately to the situation. Parents with mental illness can not always react appropriately or rationally.
Good luck with life.
2007-11-30 10:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by Cinthia Round house kicking VT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't send a letter either. Maybe write it to get your feelings out, but don't send it. It will probably just make matters worse. If you do send one, all I would say is something to the effect that your heart is always open to him, and leave it at that. I hope for your sake and your children's sakes, he comes around.
2007-11-30 10:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by gertie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of writing him a goodbye letter write him and tell him how much he mean too you
2007-11-30 11:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by broboon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only have one Dad. My Dad can also be difficult, but I cannot trade him in to get another. Please reconsider sending this letter.
2007-11-30 09:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by eastcoastdebra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋