Dumping husband is like dumping a bad habit, what are some appealing and effective ways to move on?

Question

I know I don't want to get a 'boyfriend' but right now it's very painful to get over him.
He threatens suicide (but never has in the 13 years, btw that's how he got me to marry him) He spends out of control when he's stressed (on stupid crap, nothing useful) He can't have an intelligent arguement (always storms out during time for him to account for himself) It's not like he does anything around the house, and what he earns HE SPENDS on HIMSELF. He says trying to get me in the mood is too much work (always WAITS for me to engage...ALWAYS) though it's never too much work to hack my email, research sites I've been (yahoo answers...wooo I'm a bad girl!).
The caliber of this guy is about 10years old.

I dunno, is getting a boyfriend to help ease the pain the only way to feel like a woman again?

Answer 1

Start with filing for divorce. Jump on the internet, download the forms relevant to your state and do it. I don't know if it will make you feel like a woman again, but you will feel like a human again. Being informed is very important. And you will start getting used to the idea that it's over.

I advise divorcing first, getting a BF later. It will make things a lot simpler and actually better in the long run. When you're getting a BF in a situation like this not only it complicates things but chances are you will get someone just as weird but in an opposite way. You'll have to deal with yet another breakup. Also, a bf might fill in the emotional void that your husband fails to fill. You will feel OK with these 2 men. But then you'll be stuck because you can't leave either... because either one of them is deficient as a partner to you.

But other than that - I'm in the same situation myself. 14 years of marriage that came to an end. But I'm so used to doing things the way that worked for "both of us" (read: mainly for him). People say - start doing stuff that you always wanted to do but never really got to cause he was not happy with it.

Answer 2

No! Stay away from men. Take some time out, find new passions, a new hobby, invest in yourself, take care of your body, work out, take walks, pick up a book...get to know yourself and learn how to better take care of your own emotions and needs...once you build yourself up, and process all the emotions that every divorce brings, you'll attract and be attracted to the right man for the right reasons....no sense finding yourself in the arms of someone when you have so much to deal with on your own. You don't need a man's help...it's just a false sense of security anyway that will only keep you behind.

Good luck and I wish you all the best with your new life!

Answer 3

well first let me explain don't get another BOYfriend because that's the problem you got now is that you got a BOY. Maybe you need to start with just friendship with a real man not a BOY. If you would like you can email me and we can chat at times my email is [e-mail]

Answer 4

When you leave him, start thinking about all of the things that you wanted to do when you were married, but were unable to do (dance lessons?, ceramics class?, book readings?, singles dances?, clubs you wanted to join?, lunch dates with friends?, vacation that you wanted to take, but he did not want to go?, etc....) By the time you get through that list, it will be time for a new bf!!!

I joined clubs, went to dances, took vacations, visited family, met friends both female and male out for lunch or dinner, took tennis lessons, played golf, went to parties, he had refused to go to, watched MY favorite television programs and movies, got massages, and pamper days at the spa, made new single friends, etc... It was great!!!