Should I become a female egg donor?

Question

I know there are going to be a LOT of strong moral/spiritual/personal opinions on this one...but I was kinda hoping there was someone on here who had participated and could give me some "real life experience" on the subject.

Here's the deal. I've always thought it would be a good idea. I'm 23 and I don't want kids. I am in good shape, have had a good education so far, etc. etc...basically, I meet all the pre-screening criteria. Also, I am at a point in my life where I could use a little financial help (what college student doesn't?). I know egg donation pays between $3000 - $5000 per donation cycle and I can donate as much as I want (like every 6 weeks) as long as everything goes ok. I also know that the routine you have to go through (the "harvesting" process, the fertility drugs, etc.) is pretty brutal. But I think I could handle doing it like twice a year or something if it meant I could finish school and live more comfortably. Can ANYONE offer some good advice on this?

Answer 1

My friend did it so she could use the money as a business investment. I know she's glad she did it now, but at the time, she was in a lot of pain. She literally couldn't even jog bc there were so many eggs inside of her that she could feel them bouncing around a lot. She also had to take daily shots (if I'm not mistaken), which were very painful to her. Personally, it doesn't sound like it's worth 6-8K...maybe 12K, but 6-8 is nothing. Not to mention the fact that they require you to practically be a saint. No alcohol, drugs, caffeine, certain foods, eyc while you're harvesting.

Plus, you may have to think that one day your child will have the right to come find you...even though you sign contracts saying your name won't be released, there have been plenty of time where names of sperm donors were released and approached by the kids.

Answer 2

It really depends on how you or how anyone else would feel. Some would not be comfortable with it because of the invasive part of it and some would not be comfortable knowing that a child produced from their DNA would be raised by someone else without even knowing who they are or where they came from. It really is a sensitive subject but I've even been considering donating myself and I've also done some research and been answering a lot of questions on Y!A regarding the subject.

But you said you don't want kids, I hope you haven't changed your mind about that because you are risking your own reproductive health when you consider going through the donation process. But just think of it this way, not only are you giving someone the gift of life but you are getting compensated for a few extra cells you may never use, it's a well good 5K+ (depending on the laws of your location) and it's fairly easy on your part considering that all your doing is giving someone a chance to have a baby not having it yourself. Though surrogacy is a different story because you're the one having the baby and you get paid way more because of it.

But with that being said, it will give you the opportunity to have kids without having them but the down low is that they will belong to someone else and may or may not have little regard for you. If you're comfortable with that and all the risks involved and you're eligible, then go for it! Everyone could use an extra 5K!

Answer 3

This is indeed an intense subject. I was a surrogate mother 25 years ago. The daughter I gave birth to was adopted at birth (as planned) and she lead a very good life. I never figured I'd meet her, but she contacted me in 2001 as we were on a mutual search for each other, it was an intense experience, to say the least. Not an unhappy ending, but not like I anticipated neither.

Anyway, don't worry about what others say. Go with your own gut feeling. Curiously, I found that men objected more than women to the idea of surrogacy/egg donation and the like.

Some might think it wrong, but who cares, you can't please everyone, nor should you try. The money compensates you for the time and pain.....and you give the gift of life to someone who could not otherwise do so. Seems like a pretty fair deal to me.

Just remember that you might always wonder if there is a part of you out there somewhere...

I am not recommending one way or another, just giving my opinion, of course. Good luck with whichever way you decide.

Answer 4

I thought about doing it when I was younger, and before I found out I have fertility issues. I hear that not only is it painful to harvest them, but you have all sorts of side effects, such as emotional, etc., from the drugs to make you "hyper-ovulate", and that it CAN harm your future fertility, as they basically punch holes in your ovaries when they harvest. You may not want children now, but if you're 30, and marry a wonderful man that you REALLY love, and he wants children, you might change your mind. I'm not saying not to do it, since you would be doing a wonderful service for an infertile couple (though they will pay out the yazoo for it), but just mull it over for a long time, I say at least six months.

Answer 5

Well, let's just say that they're very picky. Any family history of any sort of flaw associated with genes (including mental illness) means that you're out. Call and set up an appointment. Find out what it takes, etc.

It will have an impact on your sex life, too, remember. So if you've got a partner, you'll need to have a serious discussion. One condom slip-up and you're at risk for ectopic pregnancies (yes, multiple) and having waaaaay too many little embryos growing in you.

I'd call and ask. People at the organization would be the best to talk to about it. Basically, you figure out if you're eligible first (no risk of defects, etc), then they see if they can find someone who is interested in you. It's kind of like a dating service that way. They check out your profile, if they like you, well, it goes from there.

Answer 6

No disrespect, but you are still kind of young and you should maybe take some time to forget the $ and really think about how you would feel about having children that are half yours running around without ever having met them. I think it is a great service for families that need donor eggs and you are very nice to consider the donation. Think about it carefully, and if you can live with the reality of the situation - go for it.

Answer 7

My mom was a surrogate mother. Ive never met her, but ive kind of wanted to do something to follow in her footsteps as in egg donation the same thing you are thinking of doing. But i dunno, its really hard for me to think i might have children i dont know about somewhere. But on the other hand it is so amazing that you can give such a gift to people who cannot have their own children. Such as my mom did for my dad and his wife. The health issue of it all is the least of it for me, if the doctors thought it was that unsafe they wouldnt have you do this. And your right the money is good, and we could all use a little bit of extra finances. But the best of luck to you, hope everything works out.

Answer 8

My advice is to do your homework of course. Make sure you understand what all it entails, from start to finish. It is a great idea if your doing it for the right reasons, such as financial support of yourself during school. No one has to know if you dont want them too. And besides, there are a lot of women out there who would be tickled to death to receive an egg donor. Good luck and keep us posted. You do what you have to do (that is legal) to get yourself through school. :)

Answer 9

I think the decision is up to you. I personally couldn't do it because the thought of having children of mine walking around that I will never know would be too much for me to bear. On the other hand, it will help out a lot of women who cannot have their own.

Don't listen to the people who are negative. Think about it for a long time and make your own decision. Goodluck.

Answer 10

You have to go through a lot of screening and medical test to do this. It's not an easy 5k. But if you are willing to do it and you are eligiable then why not give someone the chance to have a baby? Do your research and if it works great! Every poor college student can use extra help.