i'm very confused. i love my husband but he doesn't seem to love me as he hasn't cared for me or my daughters. He went into military and forgot us i have had several chances to cheat I really think he has because he went to strip clubs hotel rooms. It was on his bank statement. he is always yelling at me on the phone since he got back into town. He wants me to meet him tonight but i'm afraid because i don't know him anymore. He's been really demanding and mean lately! but i love our daughter and don't want a divorce but i can't be with someone that doesn't love me back? i shouldn't even be talking to him right?
2007-11-29 16:49:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, just remember that married life carries certain problems with it. So does single life. Often times when people get caught up in how they relate to problems within marriage or being single, they yearn for something else. And then when they get what they thought they want, they realize that they have traded one problem for another.
The idea is to reach resolution and find hapiness by understanding the true dynamics of a relationship. In your case, there may be more going on than you think.
If you are feeling mistreated then you need to tell him how you feel. You need to express your concerns and tell him that you cannot tolerate dishonesty and certain behavior (just as he wouldn't). Both of you have boundaries that should be agreed to.
Now, if you say you love him, the question is do you love what he has become? And can he change? Can you change? If not, then you might be more in love with the idea of being in love. He's not a frat boy. So that is not what you married. If you do not address this immediately, then you will endure this for a long time. And don't think for a minute that your daughter won't indure it. Look out for your child's best interest. And do not set an example for her that anyone should tolerate mistreatment. That child is his responsibility too, so make him behave responsibly.
2007-11-29 16:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by Boudreaux 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love the person that he was but he may no longer be that person. If you meet him tonight, make sure it is somewhere that you can have help if needed, somewhere crowded, a bar or restaurant. Just the fact that he has become demanding and mean is domestic violence and can be very bad for you and your daughter. I will give you a web site that may help you but don't cheat simply because he does because you will regret that in time or end up in another bad relationship. You may need to raise your self esteem after being with this guy so I will give you a web site for that as well. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-30 01:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so I think you left some major details out, but based on what you wrote it sounds like you guys don't live together?? That is wierd..my husband and I are Military and we couldn't spend a night alone! And I mean this in the niceset way, but you seriously have to question if he cheated, when you saw that his bank statements said he stayed in a strip club hotel room?? UMMMM...HECK YES!!! There is only one reason why guys do that. Spare your daughter and yourself a lot of heartache and get out of this situation!!! Anytime you are afraid of your husband you need to leave the marriage.
2007-11-30 00:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by holly f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How has he not cared for you and your daughters? When he was away, did he never call you? Just because he may have slept with a stripper, does that mean that he doesn't care about you?
I would find out what he really wants out of the relationship. Does he want you to stand by while he continues to cheat on you? Does he even think it was cheating since it was with a stripper?
I think that you DO need to be talking to him about all this stuff. You need to tell him exactly what he needs to do to show you that he loves you and the girls.
2007-11-30 00:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he recently been deployed? Alot of military members come back from deployment to a hostile area with problems...such as PTSD if this is such then gently tell him that he has changed since being back and say that you wish for everyone in the family to attend a family counseling session or so...I am pretty sure military medical covers this
2007-11-30 00:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by thereha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as adults before making these types of decisions, You two need to sit and talk things over... Just put it all on the table hun. You know in your heart whats right
After looking at your previous questions, it says you are divorced, and by the looks you are a bit obsessed with it... Get help.
2007-11-30 00:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by LifeIsPeachy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you shold at least see what he wants to talk to you about act casualyas if you dont know what you do and see if you can desiphor what hes been doing lately....
if he does somthing you dont like wile your talking to him to him you should try to make a casual exit and probly talk to him only on the phone from then on and if he realy doesnt love you any moreand your done giving him chances you hsould file a divvorce...
2007-11-30 00:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by helpless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does not sound very nice these days does he? I feel for you, but before you do anything drastic , think about your daughters future and try to give your relationship another go.
2007-11-30 00:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by DI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either counseling or a divorce. I wouldn't go meet him.
2007-11-30 00:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
NO . talk to him and get this question of yours solved.
runaway doesn't solve your problem, face up to it bravely.
2007-11-30 00:52:46 · answer #10 · answered by LonelyHarts 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋