Should I go home now????????

Question

My live in boyfriend and I got in an argument today while we were at work. He says that it seems like we aren't even a couple that we are more like roommates. I do a lot around the house while he watches the baby by the time it's time for bed I'm done! Our sex life hasnt been the same since Alejandro came along nearly 11 months ago. He is having a hard time with that, which I dont blame him one bit. I still find my man attractive and sexy and the times we do get naughty I totally enjoy it but its hard to bring myself to do it. So he must have been holding this in and finally let it out this morning. He even told me that I should talk to my mom about moving back in with her. That is not what I want. He thinks he knows what I feel which he doesnt only I know how I feel. I love him, I love my home, I love our son!!!!! Should I go home now and talk? I'm still upset though and Im sure he is too... I'm scared. I dont know what to do!!!!

I just wanna cry and hide...

Answer 1

Crying and hiding is what a child does. You are a grown woman with a child that has to be taken care of. I'm assuming he's the daddy. He has to realize that the days of you both having grand spanking spur of the moment high energy spontaneous daily sex is not going to happen as frequently as it used to. You both need time to get used to and adjust to the baby. Find your mother to babysit, bribe her if you have to, to take the baby for a weekend and indulge in a wonderful long weekend with your man.

Your man is telling you that he is missing you and you are taking him for granted. A man has needs, and you can't be tired every day. As a couple with a baby, there are more challenges now to get together, but you both can do it. But it has to be mutual.

He should take a weekend and be with the baby by himself while you go have a beauty weekend with your friends. I'd like to see if that will open his eyes as he goes back to work on Monday, probably relieved that he is getting a break from babyland.

You both will have to sit and discuss what you two can compromise on, and what you can work on together and separately. Go to couples therapy, do what it takes. But he has to be into this and committed just as much as you.

Walking away is the last resort, now especially with a baby involved. If you want him in your life, you must work it.

If he's been keeping up his side of the relationship and handling the baby, then you've got some catching up to do, but if not, then he needs to step up too. This is not one-sided and it took two to make that baby.

You have to be strong and clear headed and decide for yourself and the baby what is healthy and right for you both. If he wants to be a jerk, then he can be on his own but not without coughing up child support.

I think there's still hope for you as a couple but this is a tough time and it's times like this that will either show you two will make it or not. Good luck.

Answer 2

Crying is a good idea sometimes, as it lets out you pain so that you can move forward and deal with things.

Talk to him about this in a calmer moment and explain that you'd LOVE to be with him sexually more often. My husband once told me that we were more like brother and sister than husband and wife, and I knew that I just had to kick up the gear a little bit.

Why? Because it's wonderful that you clean the house while he's willing to watch the baby. HOLD ON TO THIS MAN! You maybe can't give him everything he wants sexually anytime he wants it, but let him know that you're fully willing to give it a try. Leave the kitchen a little bit of a mess now and again. Give yourself an hour to get into the sexy mood while you leave him to watch the baby. Obviously he's open to watching the baby, and he'll be happy at the end result, right?

Most of all, even though you don't feel like having sex sometimes, JUST DO IT. Because the more time you let go without having sex with him, the more difficult it's going to be. You two might have to let go of your preconceived notions that the mood needs to be perfect. It might never be with a youngster in the house. Sometimes you honestly just need to have sex to get that release. Once you've both gotten that part down, it might be easier to have more romance further down the line.

Answer 3

Men will say things they really do not mean when it comes to sex. Most men act (sorry guys) like babies. Sex is very important in a relationship but it isn't the most important communication is. You need to talk to your boyfriend and ask him why he chose to have a relationship with you. It couldn't possibly just be based on sex. You need (and this is a must) to make time for him otherwise he might find it elsewhere. I am not saying just give in but try to make it fun for you as well. If you get satisfied then you will want it more. Tell him what you want and how you like it. Sex is good to help you and your brain relax after a hard day.

Answer 4

Home Alone 2

Answer 5

If you love him, you'll compromise or he'll stray. If your not in the mood it doesn't mean you have to stay that way forever. You have to please your man or he does have every right to walk away even if a child is involved. And in your case, your not even married to him so it makes things much easier for him to find pleasure else where. I know that's not what you want so do something about it. Don't just think about yourself but think about him too. If I was you, this weekend I'd get a naughty outfit, a long wig, and red stilidos and watch him love you even more than before! Good luck!

Answer 6

Just ask yourself If you would treat a new boyfriend the same way you treat him? If so, how long would he stick around for? I know plenty of women who cut back on sex when the baby comes and then when they break up she turns into a freak (sexually accommodating) with a new mate. Sometimes the longer we stick around and the deeper we go (marriage & kids) the less sexual benefits and appreciation we get and resentment develops. Though we don't like to admit it we need lots of attention and affection and can feel left out in the cold when we don't get quality time. We go from first place to last and urn for the days of your undivided attention and affections. You know, how it used to be.

Answer 7

You should sit down with your boyfriend and discuss fixing your relationship. It sounds like you really care for each other. With your baby here, it is really worth the time and effort to make it work.

I'll bet if you told him everything you just put in your question,he might better understand you.

Couples go through problems and running away will only make the situation worse. Face the issues head on and you both will learn from this experience.

Answer 8

for each individual time may be necessary but time is also the enemy of relationships. sometimes to get males to understand(consider the other argument ...not a true understanding) you have to start a heated discussion and get emotional. I have felt like a room mate at times with my own wife! we just had to get into a heated discussion ( NOT argument) fine line between the two. Both parties have to be willing participants and have enough love,commitment to care enough to try.... from my experience sometimes a marriage needs a little work to keep things going.

Answer 9

This child needs a home - try to work it out. Let him know you love him, your home, and son. Tell him you still find him attractive and sexy.

Do it even if you don't feel like it - make him happy.

Joy to you!

Answer 10

Let the dust settle...maybe you can take a break from each other to sort things out in a calm fashion. Words said in anger seldom allow for any healing....easy does it. Remember there is a child counting on you both to be HIS advocate.